Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Happy birthday to Me, the United States and America's hat.(That would be Canada..)

Marci and I are off, like a prom dress! But we'll be back next Tuesday and have plenty of stories to tell and pictures to show. Have a great Canada Day and a fantastic Fourth o'July.

Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh!

They took 4 vials of my precious blood today. FOUR! And the technician was cute, but I could not even flirt with him because I was so preoccupied by the really sharp device that was invading my perfect skin and taking with it my life fluid. And it really hurt. And I yelped like a wounded chipmunk.
I went back to work with a great big band-aid and a great big pout and made my boss pull the band-aid off when he made fun of me for it. (Otherwise it would still be there.)
Then I cried about to anyone who would listen until my other boss called and decided that I was getting old and falling apart and that I probably have high cholesterol and other old people issues like he does and I got mad and told him I hope he pokes himself in the eye.
I ate a bunch of cookies, because I heard that is what you should do when they take your blood.
Now I have a hole in my arm and I plan to whine about it until it heals.

It's my birfday dinner.

Dear Jen made me a birthday dinner. It involved a very complicated salad and tomato bisque. Um, YUM! Then Marci has to say, "Now it's your turn to cook for us, Bug. We have both done it. Cook for us, Bug. Cook for us!" NO! you guys should peel grapes and stuff for me. (It's all about me. Right? )

Are you two available for a home cooked meal at chez Bug in two weeks?

Wine, it makes me feel so fine

Very smart, Jen.. Supply the wine and we WILL have a good time. (notice how Marci's glass is nowhere to be seen? Curious.)


I am really really nearsighted.

I have a very pointy chin And scary insect like fingers. But I plan to stay cute.

Let's play madlibs!!! (Hours of entertainment)

Ahhhh, madlibs. This is one of the ones I did. "Bug was my friend before she touched my cupcakes." (Sounds troubling)

Maybe someday someone will want to unwrap me?

I got nothing. But I look festive as a gift, no? What's with the weird skin foldage in my armpit? and why did I feel the urge to raise an eyebrow?

Go to Australia, see a ballgame in every MLB stadium, be on the cover of a magazine, get married, fly in a hot air balloon.....

Jennyfur gave me a book. I guess the heart issue really resonated with her and she wants to be sure that I quickly get started on the things I need to get done before I die. (Not that I am dying. Jeepers...) Notice my ET-like fingers. I honestly had no idea I was such a freak.

Just keep it in the closet

One of the things to do before I die is to come out of the closet. I figured I should tackle this right away. Here I am. Coming out of the closet. 1 down, 99 to go! The next is to find my birth mother. I mean, she has been in Germany long enough. I miss you.

Marci's muffins.

Marci made party cupcake surprises. She was halfway through the recipe before she figured out the surprise was that they are blueberry muffins.
But she jazzed em up with pink frosting and sprinkles. (They were yum!!!) So was the lemon sorbet.
And all the people in my office really enjoyed her muffins this morning. It's disgusting, really, how she gets around.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart.

I was fondled twice in the chestular region today!
Turns out that breathing is a vital part of my day to day activities and since my sister did not pick up on the hint to fly here and administer vinegar to her ailing sister, I had to take my panting self to the doctor. There I was manhandled by a Polish Nurse (put your weird fantasies here... but keep them somewhat clean. My family reads this.) She placed electrodes all over me and I had my first EKG. (Shouldn't it be ECG - electrocardiogram?) She did not get my heart pumping too hard it seems. So off I wandered into a cardiologist's office where I was taken advantage of, again! I had a sonogram of my heart done there and it appears that my heart plays "Whip it!" by Devo.
I did get a talking to by the nurse in the cardiologists office that I am very sensitive, but that's a good thing. People need someone sensitive in their lives because life is hard, but that I shouldn't let myself get stressed out. She said I should stop being so stubborn and start to play the game. I told her that I don't want to play any games and she retorted that life is a game and I should think about what she said. And I told her I would, because I will. She knew me all of three seconds and could read me like a damn book. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Guess that's why she works at the cardiologist.
By the way, I think the diagnosis was a broken heart. We are going to run some more tests.

Monday, June 27, 2005

On a related note. I want this, too. Sigh...

But, if I got those boots, I might not need this. Get together, people, before you buy my birthday gifts. Thanking you! Posted by Hello

Gimme gimme gimme

So I am not a Jessica Simpson fan, but her boots sparked a little girl desire in me to own a pair of cowboy boots (and Wonder Woman Underroos, but that's a different story.). I want these! I want them so badly.
I think I would be very kicky in these AND (if I am still going off of the Jessica Simpson video) I could totally kick ass in these. So, not only do I want them, but I need them. Not that I really need to kick any ass... Oh, I just would be so very cute in them. Maybe I could wrangle me a cowboy.
If I got them, I would have to cut off all of my jeans. And get a deep tan. And whiten my teeth. See why I can't afford to buy them myself?
I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! Posted by Hello

Girls born under the sign of Cancer are soooo hot!

Happy Birthday Harmskaneeze!

Let your sun light shine on yourself. You deserve the very best and I hope this is your best birthday to date.
Remember, you have never been older than you are right now. Wait, that's not what anyone wants to hear...
Remember, I am always almost a year older than you. That should do it.

And his voice sounds a bit like Mr.T.

I was watching The Family Guy on Fox and the episode was partially about Chris and his pimple.
A few years ago, my then boyfriend had a pimple that was rather unfortunate for him and I named it Doug. I would greet the boyfriend, and then I would greet Doug.
Chris's pimple was named Doug, too! Is Fox following me around and taking my personal funniness and using it to make clever television?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

C is for cookie

I baked cookies tonight from a mix that expired in Nov. 2004. The eggs I used were suspect as well. (Sell by date was June 19.) I looked online and they said that eggs are good after the sell by date for a couple of weeks. I am not completely terrified by the end product. (My cookies.) I have already eaten 5 of them. And they are good. Am I suicidal? I dunno. But it would be a hell of a way to go, doncha think?
"Poor Bug. So sad."
"How'd she do it?"
"Expired cookies, man. Expired cookies."

I do I do I do...

I went to a really nice wedding yesterday. I looked damn good, too as long as you did not get close enough to notice that my shoes were stapled together. Apparently Bebe's shoes are shoddily made. But they are sexy! It's fun to get dressed up.
The wedding was on a ship and was set up beautifully. The first thing I noticed was the huge chocolate fountain which I actually mangaed to keep out of until after the ceremony. AND once I did go after it, I kept it off of my dress unlike the time we had a chocolate fountain at my work Christmas party and our CFO came over to me and asked if I had enjoyed the chocolate fountain. As we were no where near it, I said Yummy, but how did you know I had enjoyed it? I looked at my shirt and I would assume that more chocolate made it onto my shirt than into my mouth. Cool!
There is nothing awesomer than going to a wedding by yourself. The people that I knew came mid-ceremony. It was a little awkward. You know people are staring at you. I don't ever know where to look and I am too shy to approach anyone. So I stand back and examine my terrible manicure.
The pastor kept bringing up love. One thing he said that I really like was that now that they are married, they can never let anyone say anything against their spouse. That the two are a unit and will have to always put each other first. Then he looked around the room and said that everyone witnessing their nuptials was also responsible to keep these two together, that no one should ever take sides and to always be supportive of both. I liked that. I feel like people unintentionally sabotage people's relationships because of personal disappointments.
The reception was nice, because we cruised the river and it was a perfect night. I think it was such a nice idea to have the wedding on a ship.