Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Oh Canadia!

M and J and I went to Canada for my birthday. These are some snippets of our trip, taken directly out of my little yellow notebook. Chin chin!
Note: This is mostly an inside joke. Sorry if you don't get it. It was funny, I swear it.

  1. Jen saw a sasquatch. She swears it. I'd say she was hammered, but it was 10 am. This was in Montreal.
  2. "You haven't said anything funny since we got to Canada. I'm sorry. I just had to say that."
  3. "Shut up, Loser!" "Don't say that word." "Sorry. Be quiet, Loser!"
  4. Jen thinks that by speaking English in a French accent, she is actually speaking French.
  5. It's Canada day. A boy approaches Jen at the bar we are in and asks her to sign his Canadian flag. She says, sure! and signs it "I American." He looks at it and disgustedly says "Write something nice!".
  6. "Just try it, I'll like it."
  7. "I HATE FROGS!" - Marsha apparently was getting irritated..
  8. Memory of mine (not in yellow book). Approximately 4 am: J and M, arm in arm like Laverne and Shirley, skipping down the street, past the window of the restaurant we were in. They were running to the hotel to escape any possible tag-alongs.
  9. "It's no reflection on (fill in name here)" (This is said in regards to trying to get someone to do something that you know is bad, but don't what that someone to blame another friend for your bad behavior.)
  10. Jen swears she saw Halle Berry and Eric Benet. So we ran through the streets of Montreal. While somebody claimed they too, had seen the celebs, I am still skeptical.
  11. The Llamuskie is between Quebec City and Montreal. It is a huge statue of what looks to be a Llama and a Huskie. Weird. Maybe we will want to see it again someday. So dere it is, gone.. (hee hee)
  12. On my birthday, we were out and enjoying some beverages and Big B was surrounded by me, Jen and Marci and our waitress. All chicks. He wished that he had a guy to talk to when poof! Crazy Ukrainian? man came and hung out with him. He just wouldn't go away. So, be careful what you wish for.
  13. On the plane ride home, pilot says "I have good news and bad news. For being such good sports about our delay, the first round is on me. Bad news, I only have 6 beers, 6 wines and 20 single bottles. Good luck!"

Some quotes:

  • Ouch
  • Apparently
  • Couche-tard
  • Soooo-phisticated
  • Ow, quit it.
  • Hottawa
  • Candy
  • I got it. I got, I got it.
  • Don't be a playa hata.

Best trip I ever went on. Never laughed as hard. Thanks girls (and boy). Hope we can do that one again. But, I already got the best souvenir on July 1.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Inspired... sort of... by Jim Peal

I had a big piece of cake
Chocolate with tons of fudge frosting
I had all I could take
It got quite exhausting
But now I am all alone
I don't feel as fine
I have my cake at home
with a glass of red wine

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Simon Cowelllllllll

The following is said with major apology to the man I love. No one holds a candle to him. That said...
It's sick how Simon Cowell gets to me. I can't explain it. His pissy Britishness breaks me. He is out of shape and has a funny hairdo. Still, I like how he sits with his arms crossed and I like the stunned/hysterical/angry/and/or bewildered look he gets on his face and how he is brutally honest to people. His cantankerous attitude pleases me and am certain that he and Paula Abdul had some sessions that involved someone shouting "I am going to Hollywood!!" (That is NOT pleasing to me... Seriously, she looks like a llama.) But his horrible meanness is wildly attractive.. (I am not sure about his man-boobs that he proudly displays in his snug v-neck t-shirts.) That's enough out of me. Sorry to all that I offend with this information. It seems that I am alone on the boat of Simon Cowell. Yet, he is my celebrity crush. I am truly pathetic. But it always seems that people have celebrity crushes on people so much better looking than their partner. I can't do better than mine, so I have to go for bizarre celebrity...
Don't mock me. I know I am weird.

PS.. Maybe I just want to smack him around a bit...
PS2... I hate people who snap when they sing. I really hate it a lot.
PS3.... Why do people feel they need to add dance steps?
PS4..... The people who look weird, or have a gimmick, can't sing.
PS5...... JEN! They are going to Cleveland! WOOOOO! Winking Lizard, here we come!!!!!

Work makes me lazy...?

Well, that's the truth, but the fact is that they blocked almost everything on the internet to the point where I cannot come onto this site from my work computer any longer. Therefore updates will not be as frequent. Boy, it totally stinks. But as there are only about 4 people who read this, it's only 5 people (including myself) that will be disappointed. Well, I hope you'd be disappointed.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

American Idol in DC. Bug likes to watch... And comment...

  • I love how people miss-sing the lyrics of songs, especially the National Anthem. “Bombs bursting the air.”
  • If you are a strong lisper, do you honestly have faith that you will be a super rockstar? I mean, do you honethtly have faith that you will a thuper rockthtar?
  • When given a chance, some people just give up. It’s weird. Oh yikes, he should have given up. He sounds like a tea kettle getting ready to boil and he keeps forgetting the words. Then he claps. Then he started to cry. Poor Jesse. He lost it, but I am not sure he should have been there in the first place.
  • The way people stand still when they have words to sing and then do weird dance steps during the non-word part of the song is hilarious.
  • Milli Vanilli are German, not French like Mark McGrath said. What a maroon.
  • NASAL singing rocks!
  • I like how people keep singing, even though they are not welcome to.
  • I don’t get that cocky attitude people come in with saying how great they are and how they are going to win and conquer the world and then say whatever. It’s so defeating.
  • Whoa, Toni Braxton’s cousin is in to sing. (He’s the cocky one…) He’s a complete ass. He sounds like he is singing while sitting on a washing machine on spin cycle. What an ass. His (lack of) talent renders the judges speechless. Then he won’t leave, telling them how great he is.. Then he gets in front of the camera later to say that he is going to rule the world and how he hates all of the judges, esp. Randy whom he doesn’t understand why is in a judging position anyway as he has never done anything except maybe produce a couple of songs for Whitney Houston and Toni Braxton. Big Deal. (So he talks down his own cousin.. He’s a delight.)
  • These people sing like they are being electrocuted.
  • This girl sold her wedding rings to get to stay and audition in DC. RingS? How many did she have? Hope she is good, because she will DIE if she can’t express herself through music. Oh, she is good. Her husband is scary. (Trailer park.) She’s in, but I want to make a prediction. She is not going to stay with her husband long.
  • It doesn’t seem like anyone who auditioned in DC is from DC.
  • Guy with scary coloured contacts look like a black Will Ferrell and sings like he’s driving fast over a cobblestone road. Plus, he thrusts out his crotch every time he inhales. AND he sang Tomorrow from Annie?
  • Paula Abdul looks like a Llama.
  • Funny how some people are the epitome of sweet and angelic before they audition and turn into Satan after they have been told to go home. Whatever happened to graceful defeat?
  • Human beatboxes are weird, but Travis is a cutie and he can sing.
  • Ok, I am officially embarrassed by the girl representing my hometown of Springfield, VA. She does “Hanky Panky” by Madonna. Even the judges seem embarrassed, yet Mark McGrath does manage to say “Spanking is tremendous.”
  • Oh no, Camel Toe!
  • Camel toe is Mary from Manassas. They are trying to compare her to William Hung from last year. Uh, no. This girl is certifiably insane. With voices in her head and everything. I don’t think she was kidding. I think she is possessed. She sings like a demon is trying to burst through her neck.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


For a few years now, I have been quietly celebrating Hanukkah. Luckily, I have a few friends who like to join me in the celebration. And then, to add to the joyous occasion, we found out that one of the posse is part Jewish. Not just Jewish at Hanukkah time, either. Hence, the first Hanamas. 1/2 HANUkkah and 1/2 ChristMAS. (Hmm, I think maybe we should spell it Hanumas. We each spell it differently. Ah! the advent of a new holiday!)
The first celebration of Hanumas is recorded to have occurred on January 15, 2005. (At Jen's new pad. By the way, hats off to a beautiful home.)
We started off with a nice meal that included:

  • Matzo ball soup
  • Latkes with apple sauce and sour cream
  • Christmas salad with walnuts, dried blueberries, goat cheese and cherry tomatoes.

We enjoyed a lovely mulled wine and retired to the living room where we feverishly tore through fantastic gifts aplenty.

While the customs of Hanumas have yet to be written in stone, here are some of them:

  1. We believe that there are 10 evenings of Hanumas, as there are 8 nights of Hanukkah and 12 days of Christmas.
  2. There is one song (sung to the tune of Driedel, dreidel dreidel...)

Plunger, plunger, plunger
You're better than a tree
And when we go to Bug's house
We can finally pee

Hannamus is coming
That is very clear
We'll open lots of presents
And drinks some wine and beer

Presents Presents Presents
They're my favorite kind of treat
Plus my two best girlfriends
Who are so very sweet

I will drink lots of glu-wein
I will drink tons of beer
and if you give me latkes
I'll stick them in my ear
(I am certain that more stanzas will be added. I wish I could remember the ones sung at the Hanumas dinner table)

That's all the customs so far. I hope the other participants of this wondrous holiday will help me out if I forgot anything.)



I am crabby today. I woke up late, put my undergarments on inside out. (Too much info, I know. I am sorry.)
It's been a rough week. And my 3 hour visit to the dentist did not delight me in any way. My gums are so raw that after I brushed my teeth this morning, I sat on the toilet and cried.
Plus, I am mean. I am mean to people I love.
So, I am crabby. I am afraid I will be crabby until I figure out how to be a better person.
Maybe it is time for me to work on my list of New Year's resolutions.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Long time ago, we started a story via email. Everyone wrote a couple of lines and then passed it to the next person. The initial after the paragraph denotes who wrote it. I, of course, am B. Marsh is M and Clussy is C. But I really thought Harms wrote here too. Strange.
It is a terrible story, yet full of fun. I just remember all the non-story emails that consisted of "Who has the story?" and "Where is the story?". ha! And then we would get mad at each other for not having the story go the way we had planned. Good times. I love my girls.

Kate blew on her nails, wondering if that really helped dry them quicker, or if it was just something you did like shaking Polaroid prints to make them develop faster. Isn't it common knowledge by now, that it does not help the picture show up faster? She contemplated the colour she had chosen. Shut up
and kiss me. It was a deep pink, almost red, but not slutty. Did she pick the colour because she was looking for some action without the mental games, and if so, why was the colour not sluttier? Why did girls paint their nails anyway? The only person she knew who appreciated the gesture was her friend
Julianna. Julianna was the queen of primping. Hell, she probably knew whether blowing on the nail polish was useful. Kate picked up the phone with her feet. She used her nose to press redial, because as fate would have it, Julianna was the last person she called. Actually, Julianna was the only
person she called except for the pizza people. She had them on speed dial too. (B)

"Yeah?" came Julianna's sing-song voice through the phone.
"You knew it was me" Kate said flatly, somehow disappointed.
"Yeah, well, who loves me? What's up? Can you believe that we are actually going tonight? Hopefully there won't be any bullshit this time."

Although she did not say it out loud, Kate secretly hoped there would be a little bit of it, just for fun, just for old times sake. It was that one night, nearly eight months ago that had set her life on such a downward spiral, but at the time it seemed so wonderfully blissful, so completely
perfect, that she had not seen herself plunging into the grayness currently enveloping her mind. (M)

"HELLOOOO????" rang Julianna's voice into the receiver "Where are you zoning off to over there? I just asked you if Daniel was coming out with us tonight and you're not answering"
"oh" muttered Kate "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about that last night in Atlanta when I bumped into that bass player.... Jake"(C)
"Really?" Julianna said incredulously. "Seriously, Katie."
Kate absolutely hated being called Katie. But wouldn't you know it, that is what people loved to call her.
"You can't date people whose names rhyme with yours." Julianna carried on. "Besides, Daniel is hotter."
There were times were Kate wanted to throttle her friend. Julianna was incapable of seeing the bigger picture. She lived in the moment and that was one thing Kate was super jealous of. It was also the one thing that drove her absolutely mad, because it made it impossible to talk about things that she was holding onto from her past. She sighed.
"I know." She said resignatedly. "Anyway, I was calling to see what you were wearing." (B)

Kate slipped into a pair of low-slung jeans and as she did so, she let her mind wander. Jake was the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes upon. She knew Julianna did not agree, and perhaps stepping outside of herself she, too, could see that his was not a traditional beauty. It was his deep sapphire eyes that looked almost black to the general onlooker, the way his arms swayed when he moved like they were precious instruments playing the sweetest song, and more to the point, it was his bass guitar. He played that guitar so lovingly, so knowingly and with such fiery emotion, that the second Kate spied him in that hot, Atlanta club, she knew she wanted to be played too. She knew that she would give herself over completely to him, she would beg for his touch.

As it turned out, Kate would not have to beg. The moment she had entered the club he saw her too, through the smoke and the crowd. In fact it was he who laid eyes upon her first. What was it that drew his gaze to her? Was it her long chestnut hair, pretty but not remarkable? Was it her deep brown eyes that seemed to burn right through a person? Her figure was trim, yet curvy, but that wasn't it either. It was the want in her, it exuded from deep within her soul. It was all about her, in her eyes, her mannerisms. She wanted something desperately and he knew he wanted to give it to her.

And that he did... Kate tried not to dwell on the details of their sordid encounter in the men's bathroom that hot night in the seedy Atlanta lounge.
The strong grip he had on the back of her neck as they kissed, the way he pulled back violently to look into her eyes as if he couldn't believe what she was triggering in him and the inexplicable shivers that ran through Kate's body as she tore free from his grip. She knew then that she was asking for trouble and wouldn't walk down that lonely road of abandonment again. She kissed him that one last time, leaving a trace of salt on his lips from her tear. Neither of them could explain what had just come over them or why they were left with such a feeling of despair at not being in each others arms anymore, after all, they had just met. At least, that's what they led everyone else to believe.

Kate pulled herself out of her daze and zipped up her sleek camel knee high boots, glossed over her finished hairstyle w/a bit of silicone gel and dashed out the door. She knew she was playing with fire in coinciding the evening's plans with stopping by Jake's new bar for a drink. Of course Julianna didn't know the details involved in this bar that Kate was urging her to meet at because if she did, she would definitely have put a stop to it. Julianna knew that something was brewing for the evening but wasn't sure what it was. She knows Kate enough to know that she never worries this much about what she's going to wear out or primps this much. Something was going to happen tonight. Now if she only knew what, she might be able to spare Kate the sobriety of an impending heartache and such a blow to her
fantasy world.(C)

Julianna worried about her friend. She'd never seen her affected as she was by Jake. She threw on her jacket and grabbed her bag as she walked out the door of her apartment into her car. Her cell phone rang as the engine sprang to life. It was Daniel.
“Where am I meeting you guys?”
Julianna gripped the phone with her shoulder and threw her BMW into gear and shot down the street. “We are going to grab a drink at that new bar on Windsor and Ivy. I don’t think we will be there for more than an hour.” She said. “I’ll bet it’s pretty packed.”
“Does she want me to show up?” He asked, worried. Daniel had had a crush on Kate from the first time he saw her ordering a quadruple shot espresso at Joe’s Java House. He thought maybe she was tired, but it was a typical order for her. But her response to him had always been friendly, at best.
Julianna was silent. She knew her friend was not romantically interested in him, but she thought they would make a great match. Besides, he was fun to hang out with and always paid for their drinks. “Um, sure.” (B)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Drink more water

I have been trying to drink a lot of water, lately. I figure that drinking water will keep me from jamming junk food in my mouth. So far it's done a pretty good job of that. My aim is about 4 1/2 liter bottles a day. I read that it actually boosts your metabolism. A study in Britain found that after drinking approximately 17 ounces of water (slightly more than 2 glasses), the subjects' metabolic rates increased by 30% for both men and women. The increases occurred within 10 minutes of water consumption and reached a maximum after about 30 to 40 minutes. This comes to about 25 calories burned per 16 ounces of water. But I wonder if you burn the calories because you are running back and forth to the potty.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Below you will find 3 versions of the same text. The original text is at the bottom with the two above having been translated from English into Russian and back into English, and the next was done in German. We entertained ourselves for hours doing this a while back and I thought it would be fun to revisit. It is also an excellent introduction to the Engrish website. Enjoy!

Obviously I try to entertain weights with the provided addresses of a website of websites which held me laughter and borrowed during boring pieces on work. This website name Engrish. Engrish can be simply determined as comic English mistakes which appear in the Japanese advertising and the project of a product. Results are frequently cheerful. For this reason I have taken this paragraph and have transferred it from English language in Russian and back in English language. Hence nonsense. I hope, that you can understand it, and I certainly hope, that it forces you to laugh.

Seemingly I try to maintain the masses by supplied website addresses of websites which keep me the laughter and during the dull Streckens at the work owns have. This website is called Engrish. Engrish can be simply defined as the amusing English mistakes which appear in the Japanese advertisement and product design. Results are often screamingly funny. Therefore, I took this section and translated it from the English into the German and back into the English. Consequently the stupidity. I hope that you can understand this, and I hope certainly that it allows to laugh you.

Apparently I am trying to entertain the masses by provided website addresses of websites that have kept me laughing and occupied during boring stretches at work. This website is called Engrish. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Results are often hilarious. That is why I took this paragraph and translated it from English into Russian and back into English. Hence the silliness. I hope you can understand this and I certainly hope it makes you laugh.
(If you would like to try your hand at this, the website I used to translate was http://translation.paralink.com/translation.asp )


This may be the best website ever. They actually update it periodically, too. www.snarkywood.com Check it out. They are nastier than me. (Is it possible?)


I have fleas. I am seriously infested with fleas. FLEAS! I was standing in my bedroom last night and my foot was black with the little buggers. Nasty. So I was grabbing them and drowning them in my sink. They were holding on with their evil little feet, screaming "Noooooooo! We have so much more hopping and blood-sucking to do!" I am going to have to burn everything in my house.

Fleas are cocky, too. I found on sucking one my ear. My ear! He was whispering sweet nothings while sucking out my life blood. I almost fell for it until I realized, hey wait, I am all alone. No one is here to be whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I look in the mirror. FLEA ON MY EAR! And they look at you and hop out of the way just as you grab for them to violently tear them apart. I have a ridge in my thumb from my thumbnail, where I grab them and rip their bodies into pieces. And I was lying in my bed last night just feeling them hop all over me. Gross! Yet, everytime I looked, nothing! Sneaky bastards. Uck! My goal is to scrub my house tonight and kill whatever I can. I read that it is going to take me three months to get rid of these guys. Nasty and disgusting. I have a feeling they are plotting against me. I know they are mocking me.

Monday, January 10, 2005


I went to the movies on Saturday. I saw the movie "Closer" with Jude Law, Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman. First, I just want to mention that the couple sitting in front of me were about 60 years old. This would not have affected me in any way but for the extreme sexual nature of the film and the depravity of it. The two girls to the left of me got up and left when Clive Owens started calling Julia Roberts a F^&*ing slut and other phrases that I would not type out here. What a terrible movie. Everyone lies and cheats and is generally awful. And Natalie Portman as a stripper is not something that I had ever wanted to experience. Yikes. So the movie ends and I am sitting there like I was hit with a 2x4 and a waiting for the couple to leave because they make me feel even more awkward about what I saw. I really have no point to this story. I am disappointed in the actors and in the story. I hate movies about deceit.

Friday, January 07, 2005

The Blackness Test

Marsha sent me the Black SAT Test. I took it and notated my results. This gauges how black you are. I would think, growing up near DC that I would be a bit more "Urban". Alas, I am not as urban as one would think. I am an embarrassment. I believe you could call me Whitey McHonky. My answers are in red. (Sorry to my mommy for the bad word in number 3.)

The Black SAT Test

Can you pass or will we have to revoke the "Brother/Sister" Cards? The Black SAT Test 5 Points Each (85 points needed to pass).

Number your paper from 1-20 and have at it!
I did this correctly. Do I get points for that?

1. "Boy/Girl if you keep it up, I'll slap the________ right out of your mouth!"
Uh, I said food. I think I was hungry.. Besides, I'd be mad if someone slapped food out of my mouth. I would probably look at 'em angrily and then at the food now lying on the floor. And then angrily at them again.

2. "Papa was a ________ stone."

3. "Who in the hell left the ______ _______."
Shit floating in the bowl? Hell, I dunno. That would piss me off though. Gross.

4. What are the two words that we all know to be "fighting words"?
You ugly. I think them's fightin' words. I get points for this.

5. What was being sat on while watching the tide roll away?
I said pier, wouldn't ya know they were on the dock of the bay? Hey, I did not get the musical reference right away, bite me.

6. For this one, you have to think like a Jamaican, what two things come before "Tree"?
one two. I tink I am smart! FIVE POINTS!

7. What do we pass the "Dutchie" on?
Oh for cripes sake, I dunno. Maybe on a windmill? I hear Dutch, I think Holland. Is this right? NOOOOOOOOOOO

8. Finish the phrase "Peace, Love and _______."
Happiness. In yer face. 3 points for me because it is partial credit and I am rounding up.

9. Who recorded the song Popcorn Love?
Someone corny? (HA!) I dunno, but I think I should points for cleverness

10. Ron O. Neil played what character? And who produced the soundtrack?
I am so lame, I have no clue, so I guessed Shaft. But that was not right. So I did not know who produced and figured you can't go wrong with Quincy Adams, right? WRONG! Bastard. (And then re-reading this, I see I wrote Quincy Adams and not Quincy JONES. So not only am I wrong, I am a complete retard.)

11. "You have 2 choices, the ________ or the window?
The aisle? DAMMIT!

12. What day of the week did we become familiar with Smokey?
Why not Sunday? I thought maybe because there were a lot of picnics on Sundays and therefore extra forest fires and Smokey the bear came then, but I see my error now. They were talking about Smoky Robinson (I KNOW IT'S SMOKEY EYELINER) hehe I am so funny. signed, the Bandit..

13. Name the Hit TV show that starred Dwayne Wayne and Sinbad.
You know, I loved this show. Could not tell you the name of it was for all the tea in Britain. Well, I could now...

14. What TV show did we first see Martin Lawrence in?
Martin? Or maybe in Living Color? (Was he on that show?) I have not a clue. Who do they mean by we? We=them? we=royal we?

15. Bill Cosby and which other actor starred in "Uptown Saturday Night"?
What show is that? Can't even hazard a guess..

16. Who was Jo-Jo Dancer?
OK, I said Sammy Davis, Jr with Authority and was authoritatively wrong!

17. What type of meat is usually associated with Friday?
Fish. IN your faces Catholics! HA

18. When you were younger, what tool usually accompanied the old floor model TV?
Screwdriver is what I said, but I forgot about the wrench. There was also some metal stick that you could use to adjust the UHF. But I often used a screwdriver to replace the antenna. So I get points for this.

19. Before your Mom took you to the grocery store, she usually had to remind your black butt to do what?
I dunno. Don't forget the shopping list.

20. What one word did Florida Evans repeat 3 times when James died?
Lordy, Lordy, lordy? Ok, I know she did not say that. But it would have been cool, and maybe we'd be saying that today instead of DYNOMITE! Then again, who still says DYNOMITE! I actually remember her saying Damn, damn, damn. And just for the record, I thought that the actor who played James Evans really was dead until I saw him on Die Hard 2



6. 1 AND 2
8. SOUL (Partial credit if you said "Nappiness"or "Happiness")
10. SUPERFLY. THE LATE CURTIS MAYFIELD (Partial credit for one correct)
17. FISH
18. THE PLIERS [I would consider a wire hanger a tool]

Scoring Indicates You Are:

85 and above:
True-blue Asiatic Black Afrikan (with a "k")

African American, African European, African Caribbean, African
Canadian and all other Diaspora Africans. (Spell it with a "c")

Uh, Negro.

Barely passing: Tawny Octoroon.
**this is Marsha...see guys I am not as White Marsh as you
thought I was!

55 and under:
Definitely White.........Stop Fronting
(other wise known as Whitey McHonky)

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Old Diary

I found this old diary that I had been keeping of random thoughts of my day at work. I thought it was pretty funny and it seems to encapsulate my day at work fairly well. Things have not changed much in the years that have passed except that the guy who called me "toots" no longer calls me that after a vehement and almost violent exclamation of my dislike for that moniker. He now calls me "blonde haired girl". Clever, huh?

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

• Mind depressing boredom. I am hurting. I can’t even come up with things to entertain myself with. I believe that I have seen everything there is to be seen on the internet. I am not certain that I can get away with reading my book here. They pay me for this? In my efforts to lessen my boredom, I have learned about giant squids, parasitic twins, various diseases and all sorts of animals. Did you know that the tiger is bigger than a lion? (I do now!) I used to use up the excess time I had to fantasize about how great my life would be if I found a great guy and fell in love. Well, ever since I found a great guy, I can’t fantasize anymore. I have tried! But it feels so silly. Funny, it never used to. I am going to play solitaire for a while. Maybe that will help. Sigh…

• Check it out. I have gotten to the point where I am not afraid to read at my desk. This can’t bode well for my future at the company, can it? I mean, they already look down on me and now I have so much disrespect for my job that I am READING? I wonder why I still have a job. But you know, if I am not going to have to do anything, and they will keep paying me, I have no problem reading at my desk. Well, I did just throw it down because I heard the elf down the hall. I figure that we hate each other enough as is that he probably does not need that extra ammunition against me. He is such a punk. Well, not cool enough to be a punk, but you know what I mean.

• People, knowing I am bored out of my wee little mind are sending me quizzes to test my intelligence. So not only am I bored, I am finding that I am an idiot. Damn.

• I still am stuck here for 37 minutes, but I am strangely enjoying myself today. Is it the realization that it does not matter so much? Or the fact that I just ate a chocolate chip cookie and had some peppermint tea and spoke to the aforementioned boy? Mmmm.

• I am strangely clingy today. Lately, it is like I can’t get rid of you quickly enough. Today, any one who has been foolish enough to be social with me has been sucked into a black hole of chatter. They are held to my desk by a desperate string of stories. It’s like I am afraid to be left alone. What the hell?

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

• This morning I was driving along to work, late as it was, and these cars in front of me just stopped at a green light. Apparently, the one guy hit the other, but instead of getting off the road, they stopped at a green light. And there was almost a really huge accident. Scary. So now I am filled to the brim with adrenaline.

• I think the only reason I have this job is because they think I am pretty. This morning my boss already greeted me with “Hello, good looking.” Another guy, in talking on the telephone to a fellow that has a minor crush on me says to him, “Yeah, she looks good. She is wearing makeup today.” Then my female boss says, you look very pretty today. And then one of the other ladies says it too. ! Hmph. Not that it is bad to be thought of as pretty, but to be only thought of as pretty is insulting.

• You know what I hate? Stupid pop-ups on the internet. In the time it took me to type that last sentence, I was barraged by 4! And I am a ‘look at the keyboard while I type’ kind of typist. Therefore, I think I have typed a million words, only to look up and see a survey pop-up window questioning who the sexiest actor in Hollywood is. Dammit! That really pisses me off. AND I have to retype everything I thought I had already gotten down.

• I was just in Starbucks and I had to go potty. On the paper towel dispenser it details, with pictures, how to wash your hands. So for fun, I washed my hands, and then checked to see how I did. Not too shabby. Probably 90%. I did not turn of the water with a paper towel as it indicated to do. But I did wash my hands for the required 20 seconds and with soap, no less.

• I bought four books today. One, The Last Days of Summer I have read many times before, but everytime I loan it to someone, it is not returned and I absolutely love it. So, I bought it for the 8th time. I am so excited. I have all these new experiences waiting for me. New lives and ideas that have never even crossed my mind. Love it.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

• I tried to come in in a good mood today, but these people have this miraculous knack at making me feel bad. Not only feel bad but also piss me off. And they go from being super friendly and wanting to be my “friend” to wanting everything professional. How can they expect me to be professional when they just got through touching my shoulder and calling me “toots” fifteen minutes ago? These people are jacked in the head.

• My back is killing me. I know it is partially remnants of boxing class, and partially bad back. But I took 800 mg of ibuprofen earlier and it took 4 hours to take effect. And I am still feeling like I would rather die that deal with this pain. Yuck. But then again, maybe it is better than death. Who can say?

• I am eating Runts® candy. I think I may come out unscathed, but only because I spit one particularly hard dude into the trash. Who at Willy Wonka Candy decided that if they flavoured rocks like lime, they’d be a great selling candy treat? Ow.

Friday, May 16, 2003

• Apparently I had nothing to say on Friday.

Monday, May 19, 2003

• During lunch today, which was chicken kabobs, I wished I had more mushrooms. What if my wish had come true and it was the only wish I’d get for my whole life, and I wasted it on mushrooms? The funny thing was how I wished it in my head. It sounded like a formal wish. I really did want more. They were really good. Maybe it would not have been such a wasted wish after all.

• I am feeling so passive aggressive, but it never works to get you where you want. It pisses you off, and the person you are being passively aggressive towards. And then everyone just is all pissy.

Thursday, April 1, 2004

• Apparently I did not have anything to say for a long time. I was in the midst of entertaining myself during slow times with rousing games of solitaire. I believe my brain has atrophied and I have not had a creative or intelligent thought in an awfully long time.

Scary stuff

I was driving to work this morning and on one of the radio shows, they had the directors of AA-EVP. (American Association of Electronic Voice Phenomena)
They were totally freaking me out with these recordings they would play that came across through white noise of people who had died saying things like "Where's mom?" and "Get out of my house". So apparently, what happens is that energy can come across through the radio, computer, TV, etc. and be heard as the words of a dead person. There is a movie coming out called "White Noise" and therefore the new examination of this phenomena called Electronic Voice Phenomena. I started reading more about it, and decided that if someone contacted me that way, it would be kind of neat, if it was a friend or a family member. I can't imagine anyone else talking to me. Nobody has so far. But, it seems kind of sad, too. Because someone asking "where's mom?" doesn't seem like they'd know that they are dead. I really hope that the movie doesn't make the whole thing seem hokey. But I just love Michael Keaton, so I will watch it either way.

The other thing that freaked me out this morning was on the Discovery Channel last night about a volcano in the Canary Islands that could break off a huge chunk of land that would cause a tsunami that would have waves of 55 yards. That's a 15 story tall building. This wave is supposed to decimate the east coast of the United States. I thought, maybe it is time to move to Colorado with my sister. But then I read some more and other scientists were calling this scaremongering and that the possibility of a comet landing on the Earth is just as possible. (See the article) But then I started thinking that natural disasters are God's way of population control. They are necessary. If we did not have things like this happen, our planet would be so overridden with people that we would end up with all sorts of disease and cannibalism and other horrifying things. And I decided that if that's necessary, then I am okay with it and should I be one to go in a natural disaster, well then that's okay too.So, maybe things are not so scary after all.

Well, except going to sleep at night. Lately every noise freaks me out... I'll work on that later.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Oooh, I get to Blog too!

My first blog site. What a dumb word that is. Blog. Especially for me who keeps typing it as "bolg".
I was reading my friend's blog site and she inspired me with her clever writing to steal her idea and write my own thoughts. Maybe this will keep me from obsessively emailing my friends throughout the day and keeping them from accomplishing their work and making the world a better place to live in. But as I write this, I wonder how I will access it again? I don't even remember my code name.
I don't really have anything to write about. Maybe I should attach a photo or something. I hope that I get more clever as time goes on or else I may have to beg for forgiveness.
Yay, my first blog is done for now. Maybe I will be inspired later. Woo! Technology.