Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

L. Ron Hubbard strikes from the grave

I cannot believe that Tom Cruise Mapother IV managed to impregnate Katie Holmes. The German tabloids have labeled him non-heterosexual for years. He even sued them for it. But yet, I question...
You see Mr. Mapother has been married before. Two times.
  1. Mimi Rogers. They were married for close to three years, yet never had any children. She, however, remarried and began having children at the ripe age of 45. She has two kids.
  2. Nicole Kidman. They were married for close to ten years. They adopted two. I am going to guess here, but I'll bet Nicole wanted children and because she was his beard, she had to get them elsewhere.

And that is not all. He was a Franciscan seminary student at the ripe age of fourteen. Which kid, with hormones a-flailing, wants to become a priest or a monk?

So now he is with the young Katie Holmes. There is something suspicious about the way he moves through his relationships. Mimi Rogers was at the beginning of his career, you know when he needed an older lady to bring his boyishness to some sort of level... Nicole was strung along, perhaps to make her career better? I dunno. But Katie? The rumor is that he "auditioned" a bunch of girls to be his next amour. She won (or lost, in my opinion).

But let us get back to her whole pregnancy. That was done quickly, no? I mean, she auditions, they date, engagement, BAM! Pregnant. I think that Tom was looking for a ripe specimen in which to insert the long forgotten seed of the dead leader of the Scientology clan, L. Ron Hubbard. Mr. Hubbard was a crazy man. I could totally see him storing his sperm so that he may populate the Earth, long after he is gone. BUT the caveat is that it has to be in the right woman. (An easily manipulated woman.) I think that Tom Cruise and the Scientologists, who think that they come from another planet and that someday the big spaceship will return to come and take them home, have decided it is time for a new leader. Maybe Tom Cruise was jumping up and down on Oprah's couch because he knew that soon he'd have a leader again.

Does this mean that the spaceship is coming for them in the next 30 years or so?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I want.

I want these boots and I need everyone to keep their eyes open and find them and then tell me where you found them so I can buy them.

Yes, I am freak about boots, and I never did get those cowboys boots I asked for for my birthday. Not that I am keeping track or anything...

Misunderstood songs

I like Alanis Morissette's version of Seal's song "Crazy". But, I heard the lyrics slightly differently and interpreted the meaning, too.

My version:
In a sky full of people, there's always someone to fight, Isn't that crazy? In a world full of people, there's always someone to fight, Is that not crazy?
My interpretation:
No matter where you go in life, there is always someone who is willing to fight you or for you to fight with. It sucks. What a crazy world. That's why you have to get a little crazy to survive.

Real version:
In a sky full of people, only some want to fly, Isn't that crazy? In a world full of people, only some want to fly, Isn't that crazy?

Huh. Well I guess that meaning is kind of sad. Doesn't everyone want to fly? Seal and Alanis don't think so. But R. Kelly believes HE can fly. (That man is an entry for someone else to tackle...Too obvious, not really, for me.) And Irene Cara said she would live forever, she's gonna learn how to fly. Frank Sinatra wanted someone to fly him to the moon; Kelly Clarkson is going to spread her wings and learn how to fly; Foo Fighters will be making their way home once they learn to fly. Hmm, they are actually all just planning on learning how to fly. Wonder if there is a psuedocelebrity flight school. (Pseudo because thems not real celebrities and Frank Sinatra is dead.) I think that I could make a mazillion dollars with that idea.

Come to Buggie's Flight School.
Learn to fly!
I need to work on my catch phrase.

Other song that makes things in my head go awry...
"My Lumps" by Black Eyed Peas.
For one thing... My lovely lady lumps? I worry about getting lumps in my lovely lady bumps. I mean, I would be worried were I to have lumps in them. So, is this a song about checking yourself out for breast cancer?

Go on Black Eyed Peas. Represent Breast Cancer awareness!

Friday, December 16, 2005


I got nothing to say. Sorry about that. It seems that the things that are currently on my mind are not things I care to discuss on this venue. I can, however, admit that I am tired of being alone.
What I mean to say is that the things that have been popping up in my head are inappropriate for the public forum. If you'd like to know what they are, it is best to buy me a drink or three.
As for the tired of being alone, I miss that whole boyfriend thing.. However, I am too lazy to go on dates. That will change once the New Year arrives as I am making it a resolution. And resolutions always work!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Stupid, not interesting, history.

Damn, Damn. Maybe I am not as smart as I thought I was. Or maybe I am just as lazy as I know I am. Damn, Damn. I just took a day off to work on my final paper for this damn history class that I was truthfully not that very excited about to begin with. Ten pages about Alexandria, Virginia from 1877 to 1960. Did you know that nothing really happened during that time? How was I too stretch that into ten pages? Besides the obvious fact that I did not do the assignment right, by not answering any of the questions that my teacher had dictated, I just jabbered on using really lengthy words to fill space. I did, however, turn it in on time. Gah, and here I am counting words on this entry because that is what I have been doing for the past 6 hours. Damn! I think I am going to have to take a mulligan on this class, because I will bet anyone a bottle of Grey Goose vodka that I will not get an A on that paper. Hell, I think a C would be generous. Damn. Why didn't I do my research better? Bah. Glad this class is over.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I know

I used to have a friend who would respond to anything I ever said to her with "I know".
So one day I asked her, "How do you know?"

And she said, "Because you just told me."