Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

End of 2006

Here it comes, the ubiquitous end of the year post.
This year went by way too fast and somehow nothing really happened. I am a bit closer to (finally!) getting my bachelor's degree, but I am still a year and a half away. All my sister's kids got a bit older, as did I.
This year was a bit wasted on me, I think.
Wait, I made some new friends... like the Chanuck, DCSC, Law-Rah and Sweet. I met more fantastic people I would like to get to know better like VP of Dior, Cassie, I-66, Heather, Velvet, and others. Long time friends like Rich, Clussy and Harms were seen, but not nearly enough and I got to spend time with the ones cemented to my heart like Jen, and Marci (who busted her ass on the most awesome powerpoint of 2006, to show me that I am slightly insane when I say we don't get to spend any time together. What can I say? I want MORE!). I got to spend a week with my sister and her family in May and also now. Finally, I got to see my mom a lot. I think I get to know her a bit better every time. Needless to say, she is my favorite person in the world.
Taking all those people into consideration, what a year!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

So damn insane

Wow, so they executed Saddam Hussein. I have to admit it is a bit shocking. On the other hand, he got an opportunity to meet with his half brothers, plan his last meal and pray before he was hanged. All those people he killed or had killed did not get this reprieve.
Maybe it is the darker side of me coming out, but I feel that if you are going to be executed for killing someone, you should be killed in the same fashion that you killed them.
I am not certain about my stance on corporal punishment. Part of me is all for it. Eye for an eye and all that. Realistically, though, unless you actually witness the guy kill the other guy, it is hard to prove guilt definitively. I don't want innocent people to be executed. That would put the government in the same category as murderers.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Unfortunate cookie?

We ate at an Asian Cafe the other night. Post dinner fortune cookies provided the following fortune for my mother.

This was mine...

Um.... Huh?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

400 times!

I have felt the urge to regale you all with amazing stories and other various thoughts 400 times. It's hard to believe that I have had 400 entries. But I have. And I think you should all go back to the beginning and read them all over again. Re-experience the BUG.
And do not upgrade to Blogger Beta. (Just some friendly advice. It sucks and also makes it difficult to leave comments for others.)
I should have re-read all my own posts, just to update you on all of them, but we all know I am far too lazy for that. That's why you should do it and then ask questions. That is much easier for me.
Like, for example, why did I stop writing about Celebrity Duets. I had all the shows recorded on my DVR. But then I could not bring myself to watch them anymore.
Or whatever happened to "Today in History"? I mean, did you guys even read that?
Or what about my alphabet series? I kind of petered out at "V". What did ya'll think about that? Do you want to know my feelings about the letter "U"?

Thanks for making this so much fun. I love having an outlet for my random thoughts and I truly appreciate you all participating with me on this journey.


Light em up quick! Time is almost up!

I am so excited about the smoke ban in DC come January. I hate coming home reeking of smoke. I know that it will be frustrating to those who still smoke, but honestly I am surprised that people still smoke at all.

The people who will be most frustrated are the servers and bartenders. I remember working at Bennigans and we all fought over who got to work in the smoking section because those cats tip way better. Strange when you think about it. They need that money to buy cigarettes, right? Though in VA, cigs are much cheaper. Hmm, so much to think about.

The question now becomes: do the smokers tip less because they can't smoke anymore? Or do they tip more because they have more cash on hand?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

No plans

I have done absolutely nothing the past few days.
I have eaten a ton of caramel popcorn, cookies and various other things that hardly register on the nutrition scale. I have been completely too involved with my nieces new Zune, my new Sims Pets game (where I have recreated all my friends and family... I know it's nerdy. I like to spend more time with the virtual loved ones...), and watching repeats of The Office with my brother in law.
Tomorrow, I am thinking that I may brush my teeth. Not completely decided yet.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Travel update

My mom and I got to the airport super early on Saturday in preparation for the wicked amount of waiting we were sure to have to experience. We checked our bags at the sidewalk checkin where there was only one person in front of us. (A family with an infant and a child and 4,000 bags. Good Lord, I am glad I do not have to travel with small children.) We went inside and looked at the security line that had maybe 10 people in it. Hmm, time for our traditional Japanese pre-flight meal. They charged us $1.50 for green tea! Whaa?

We killed some time before hurrying to wait to be close to the last people in line to board a very full plane. Once seated, we took off for the runway, only to return to the gate because somehow some extra dude managed to find his way onto the plane. They kicked him and his duffel out while my seatmate and I contemplated what he would do to get back at United. (Can you imagine getting onto the plane, thinking you are set to travel and then Boom! Yer off!)

We made it into Chicago on time and had burgers at the Billy Goat. (Yum).

We were the last to board the plane this time around. (Boarding group 4!) Brutal. But it was a bigger plane and we each got aisle seats. I pulled out the laptop and awkwardly watched girls taking their tops off to dance for a Mexican Mafioso on "24".

We landed on time in Denver (Can you believe it?) and made our way into the terminal. That is where the madness ensued. 50 gazillion people and suitcases covered every square inch. Look.

Crazy, isn't it? We met my sister at baggage claim, along with everyone else who was on a plane that day and proceeded to wait three hours until they finally unloaded the luggage from the plane. I have to say that up to that point, the hordes were friendly with everyone rooting for others' lugagge to be found. Once the buzzer rang, and our suitcases started to appear, the people cemented themselves in place in front of the carousel and would not move, even if you pushed them.

The baggage handlers overloaded the carousel and it jammed, wreaking more havok on the psyche of the travelers and pissiness began to creep upon them. We waited a while longer until the situation was resolved and suitcases began finding their way around again. I found my bright blue suitcase (that was on its maiden voyage) practically right away, but had to squeeze through the masses to get it, and lemme tell ya, I do not travel lightly. After my suitcase was placed under the eagle vision of my sister, I went off in search of my mother's. After many laps, I found it and chased it around the carousel. I tried to squeeze between people to get it and they would not let me in. I finally pushed through and had a grip on it, but the people would not move to let me yank it off. So I pulled with all my strength and hit them as hard as I could. My mother does not travel lightly, either. You would think that people would recognize that if they let me get my suitcase out of the way, I might leave and make more room for them. People are stoopid.

It was 1:00 AM when we left the airport and drove home to my sister's house. Almost there, my sister noticed three rogue horses on the side of the road. She stopped the car and chased them home. One sank into snow as high as its shoulder and in a flurry of movement and snow, burst out and ran down the driveway. My sister knocked on the door, but who answers it at 2:00 AM? So she made sure the horses were far off the road and returned to the car to drive us home.

The horse story was told to illustrate that I am not in DC no more. Horses on the side of the road? Snow to a horse's shoulder? Egads. But it is beautiful here and I couldn't be happier.

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Friday, December 22, 2006

Travel Advisory

Well, the Denver airport is closed and there are delays at Chicago O'Hare. The weather in DC is foggy and these are all places I am attempting to go to or through tomorrow.

They say that Denver should be open by noon today, and I hope it's true. It was said that the people whose tickets are dated on the day they actually travel will take precedence over those whose flights have been cancelled. So if everything works out, I will be sailing by the shantytown the refugees of the great snowstorm of 2006 built in the Denver airport, saying "So long, suckas!"

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner (mobile) then people would drive like buttholes to get to me.

I was driving down the highway and lo, what drives there before me? The Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile! I have never laid eyes upon this mythical creature. It was way ahead of me and I opted to fight traffic to get right up on it. I mean, who would believe me? It would be received like when Jen saw a Sasquatch in Montreal. (Now I know why traffic is so bad lately.)

But feast your eyes on this, you hotdog eaters of yore:

I yelled Wait! Lemme ketchup! and I got the tail end. Well, then the big dog fell way behind and I captured this:

But at long last, he rolled up next to me. Ah, an American kids dream come true!

And here we have a Nova Scotian kid's dream come true. (That's for Dean, Renee.) A lobster truck in Falls Church.

I need a car will a big ole bug on it.

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Friday, December 15, 2006

Subparway. Met-No. (Trying to find a better name for our public transit.)

Metro is contemplating a fare hike. Why is it that DC is the only metropolitan area with a subway that charges by route? Boston, Chicago and New York all charge by trip. It makes more sense. It's simple to follow. You pay your $1.75 and get on a train. In DC, you have to stand in front of that stupid map, doing math so you are not either too short with your fare and then have to scrounge for change so you can get out later when you've reached your destination, or you have $0.10 too much on the card. If you are anything like me, I rarely ride the train, you just hang on to the stupid card in hopes that maybe someday, someday! you will remember to bring that card with you when you happen to ride again. (In the meantime, I have 25 cards, each with less than 25 cents on them.) Is that a sign that I am remedial in math?

I am sure the whole DC Metro concept is a nightmare to tourists. They have to not only scurry out of the way of angry commuters. (I was one of these angrys and I remember wanting to push people to the right of the escalators*. Hello! Stand to the right, walk to the left. GEEZ! Maybe we can make that the new DC Tourist Board logo.) Tourists also have to figure out the complicated system. AND standing in front of that map makes everyone look like a tourist.

I hate our Metro. (Okay, hate is a strong word. I don't hate it. I dislike it.) I think it sucks that they use fewer cars to save money. Now my friends stand holding a bar while being compressed by someone whose buttcrack is holding the same bar. I think it sucks that I can't take the Metro to work.

Don't even get me started on the bus system. Why can't the signs at the Pentagon frickin' say where the bus is actually going?

Dr. Gridlock had a very interesting article in the Washingtonian about the current system and how it got to be this way. The truth is, we don't all live in the city, or work in it. How are we supposed to get around?

*I admit that I wanted to do more than just push them to the right. I am a very hateful person. XOXO

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

No g-news is good g-news unless it is this.

In an article* I read on the WaPo Express, it was said that circumcision may cut the risk of HIV infection in half for heterosexual men. This is a serious matter, yet two things made me giggle when I read the article. They said "cut" and circumcision in the same sentence. AND the World Health Organization professional they quoted was Dr. De Cock.


*This is not the WaPo, but it is the same article.

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Screw your Happy Holidays!

I feel fake everytime I tell someone "Happy Holidays!". I am a Christian and I celebrate Christmas. I also celebrate Hanumas. So I want to tell you Merry Christmas. Or perhaps Happy Hanumas. And if you are Jewish and would like to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, or perhaps you celebrate Kwanzaa and would care to explain the traditions to me... I would gladly rejoice with you. If I know that you celebrate a different holiday than I do at this time, I would love to wish you a Happy (Fill in space)!
What the heck is going on that we cannot be joyous in our own beliefs and still honor others? Are we supposed to pretend like we are all the same? We're not. So what? That's what makes everything so interesting. Instead of acting blind to our differences, we should appreciate them, learn from them and become better because of them.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

American nightmare.

I read an interesting article in December 2nd’s National Journal today. The story was about “how the world would look if Uncle Sam were no longer No 1”. This is something I have been giving a lot of thought to for quite a while. We (Americans) are pretty damn cocky about our position in this world. How will we react when we suddenly find ourselves falling behind Korea in technology? Or behind China? Or any other country?

The fact is that we are lagging a bit. I am not qualified to contemplate how far, but when I was last in Germany, I noticed that they were far advanced in cell phone technology than we are. I think part of the reasoning for that stems from our highly capitalistic ideologies that manipulate the amount of forward movement in technology. By this I mean that I believe that America doles out just enough information to profit from.

As a people, I think that Americans are getting more and more entitled in their behavior, and thereby not working as hard to achieve greatness. Will Smith said that he was told the director of the film “Pursuit of Happyness” could not be an American because an American does not understand the concept of the American dream. I agree. I believe the American dream is fulfilled by coming to America from a place where life is a struggle. The thought of America and life’s potential there is part of the dream. As Americans, we live in relative safety (spoken as a true middle class Washingtonian) and while many work hard, many more are sedate in their lives here. I always wondered if I had had to battle some level of intense adversity; like a war in my country, or true poverty; would I be a better person? Would I work harder to achieve the life I want?

Other countries are truly catching up to the US in every way. We may be the richest country, but for how long with the way we are flinging money at the war in Iraq?

We have a powerful government, but how much power do we want them to have? How much can we trust these people who establish legislation to guide how we live our lives while they disregard the rules for themselves?

This is a powerful country. America is a great country. If we want to keep it this way, we need to stop standing around and allowing things to happen. There is no reason why the government is run on money. It should be run by people whose first and foremost thought is how better to help their constituents. Whatever happened to the true leaders, the people who became politicians to make a positive change in the country? It seems that the people on the Hill are there to feel powerful, not to be powerful. And it is our own fault. We vote them in. Politics has become a dirty word and the only ones who can change the definition are us.

Monday, December 04, 2006

To my next boyfriend:

You must not:

  • Have a girlfriend.
  • Have a girl who thinks she’s your girlfriend.
  • Have a psycho ex-girlfriend.
  • Have a psycho friend who is a girl and would like to be your girlfriend. (And for that matter, have a psycho friend who is not a girl and would like to be your lover.)
  • Have a boyfriend.
  • Have any lover whatsoever.
  • Be a smoker, an alcoholic, or a drug user.
  • Be married. This means if you were married, you need to be completely divorced from your wife; no longer living together; having no property you share.
  • Be cheap. You don’t have to buy expensive things or pay for everything all the time, but damn, I had better not be finding myself paying for all your beers while I am kicking your ass* on the Golden Tee game that I happen to be paying for, too.
  • Be jealous. But who isn’t a little jealous? Just understand that I like to chat people up, but if you are paying attention to me, then I won’t stray away from you. (Example: I was out with a guy I was dating and he paid no attention to me at all, conversing solely with his pal. I was bored, so I started talking to the person next to me. I got in trouble for this. That’s utterly stupid in my opinion.) I like being social, but I like being social with the person I am out with.

You must:

  • Have a car. I already dated that car-less fella, and whilst charming you may be, it gets really old to have to gather up your ass from your friend’s pad that you’ve been crashing at for the past six months.
  • Be smart. But not so smart that you make me feel dumb.
  • Be fun. (With me). I have dated people that are the most fun people in the world…when they are with anyone but me. Then when spending time with me, they got all serious and weird. And then they’d go out and be all fun again. Weird.
  • Like Pearl Jam and movies and going to see live bands. (The live bands can be in any venue, though I prefer small ones. 930 Club is as big as I like to go.)
  • Love dogs and be okay with the fact that I will pet almost every dog I come across. You must either join in the petting, or stand faithfully by as I do it. You must not make any snide comments about the heavy petting that I like to do.
  • Smell yummy. I recommend Issey Miyake or one from Mont Blanc that smells awesome. But go light on the cologne. A co-worker douses himself in it and his essence remains all day. And it smells bad.
  • Love my friends and my family. But that’s easy, I think.

* My ex would laugh at this as he regularly left me on the putting green, or swimming around a water hazard, in Golden Tee. I think I may have beat him twice.

Friday, December 01, 2006

I do not want to play this Uno game.

Watching TV -no way!- and an Uno card game commercial comes on and this is exactly what I hear.

"Uno, love tap. Hit the monster, tempt your fate. You might get no cards. You might get AIDS! Uno Love Tap! For the excitement of Uno with an entirely different spin. Try Uno Spin!"

I hope ya'll appreciate that because I had to watch the commercial 73 times to make sure I got it down word for word of what I heard.

Mall shopping on a Thursday night.

Alternate title: Bebe sucks.

Holiday shopping. At Tyson’s Corner Center. In uncomfortable shoes. All that is enough to make a girl cranky, but honestly by the time I had walked from Bloomingdales all the way to Barnes and Noble, back to Bloomingdales, what got this girl irritated was not the blisters on her feet. It was the sales people.
I was in the candle store, with all the smelly candles. I can’t recall what it’s called, but why don’t they make more unscented candles? When throwing a party, the last thing you need is a fusion of “fresh linen” and “wild blueberry” assaulting your guests’ noses. Yeah my holiday party’s colors are blue and white. Actually, blue and silver, but silver candles are not only hard to find, they are generally kind of weird looking.
The girl at the register at the smelly candle store greeted me with a “Can I help you?” that was more reminiscent of someone who thought my presence was highly offensive. So I bought a couple of white unscented candles and got the hell out of her way.
Now I have to say that most of the people in the mall were very nice. They greeted with the ubiquitous “How are you?” and then left before my mouth would finish forming the also predictable “Fine, and you?”. But at least they acknowledged me. The kid working in Electronic Boutique was fantastic and helped me find the coolest game a 12 year old girl could want for Christmas while entertaining me with stories about the old school video games that an old lady like me would enjoy. (Space Quest, baby!)
The girl working the MAC counter at Bloomingdales should get a raise. She handled a wild two year old, -who kept threatening me with a toy car whilst saying NO!- while expertly managing a mini crowd and still managing to be polite, helpful and useful in her makeup knowledge. She also talked me off the ledge after my Bebe experience that made me homicidal.
And now to the point of this whole boring tirade… (I am tired. I am having a hard time even completing sentences. I hope ya’ll are still with me at this point…)
I was looking for the perfect dress for my holiday party. I found it at Bebe. I tried it on. Fantastic. Pretty, not too pricey and fits great. I have my dress. So I get in line to pay. There are at least six people working in the store. One girl is on the register. Another is goofing around at the register. Two people in line in front of me took 20 minutes to ring up. Then the girl in front of me got into a long conversation about ClubBebe, where you earn points for money spent. You think another employee could have had this conversation with her, or that perhaps someone would come to ring me up? Nope. You think the cashier could have made some slight offhanded comment to me, recognizing that she was leaving me hanging but that she’d be with me in a second? Nope. The cashier walked away from the counter to talk to the girl and did not even acknowledge me and my dress trying to pay. So after standing there like an idiot for a couple more minutes, I lay the dress on the counter and left. In the time it took me to do that I saw at least 3 Bebe employees, any one of whom could have helped me or at least acknowledged the fact that the cashier was gone. But they didn’t even look up. It seems that Bebe does not need to make sales to succeed. They just need a bunch of minimally dressed girls to move merchandise around.
I was royally pissed. And now I don’t have a dress.