Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Ouch! You tag hard!

A- Available or Single? Oh so very single. Most of the time I am okay with it, especially when I see what dipwads boys can sometimes be. But it makes it hard to watch happy couples. AND my niece was no help when she let me watch, unshielded, the heavy makeout session at the end of the Cheetah Girls. (I told her to warn me and she let me down.)
B- Best Friend:
C- Cake or Pie: Beefcake! Rawrrr.
D- Drink of Choice:
I like beverages. I like them better than food. But favorite? I would have to say very cold milk. Alcoholic beverages? Yes please! (Save for scotch which tastes like liquid tree and Gin which tastes like alcohol alka seltzer.)
E- Essential Items: Air, water, food, shelter… Oh you meant extraneous things that I feel are vital to me? Hand lotion. I can't stand the feeling of dry hands. Lip stuff (gloss, chapstick, anything) Hate dry lips! Gum. Seasonal Candy (like Sweetarts jelly beans and Brachs minty Christmas nougats) frozen treats. Vacation time with Marci. Family time. Dogs.
F- Favorite Color:
G- Gummi Bears or Worms?
I like sour gummis. Any kind. But they have to be damn sour. I got a box of those flat strawberry flavoured gummi things for my 15 th birthday. I could not stop enjoying them even though halfway through the box my tongue started to bleed.
H- Hometown: Northern Virginia
I- Indulgence: Time with my mum, or my friends. I also indulge myself with TV when I should be doing other things. Junior Mints. Procrastination is an indulgence, is it not?
J- January or February: This was the best they could come up with for J? Um. I was going to say January because it's my niece and my sister's birthday month and the beginning of a new year, and the Superbowl which generally yields good beer drinking times and funny commercials and well, what the hell… January!
K- Kids:
My niece just got a kid named Roxy. She apparently is not the nicest goat, but she has not been handled much and my sister thinks we should give Roxy a chance. In the meantime, Brekken, my sister's dog, foams at the mouth when she sees her. Lunch!
L- Life is incomplete without:
M- Marriage Date:
As Marci said, I can't talk about it. But I am sure it was a beautiful ceremony.
N- Number of Siblings:
Three. But I am the masterpiece and they stopped having kids once they finally got it right.
O- Oranges or Apples?
My math teacher in Germany used to use Apples (Äpfel) and Oranges (Orangen) to do algebra problems. Then he would say something to the regards of fruit salad (Frucht Salat), but at that point I was usually on my way out the door to partake of the rest of class in the hall.
P- Phobias/Fears. Worms. Gah! oh and Having missed my calling.
Q- Favorite Quote: I truly have so many. "I saw a Sasquatch" "Try it, I'll like it" "I like P**** once in a while". So many. Can't put only one down.

R- Reasons to smile: Just being around to see people being nice to each other.
S- Season: I like them all. I hated it in L.A. for the lack of rain or winter or proper change of weather. But if I had to pick one, I would say… I can't.
T- Tag Three: I tag… Law-Rah, Clussy and the Chinadian. Do it!
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I used to have a lisp and my family mocked me mercilessly, having me perform "Susie sold seashells by the seashore" for guests. I have a hard time letting go of things that were given to me by people I really care about, even if the item is something like a Pez dispenser. (Sorry Liz). I think I have a pretty good singing voice, but I will never sing for anyone else in case I am wrong.
V – Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals?
I am a vegetarian who oppresses animals by not letting them vote and making them walk everywhere. I also don't let them speak. Are you kidding me? Animals are delicious and look pretty as my clothes.
W- Worst Habits: Utter lack of patience. (Is this thing frickin' done yet?) Procrastination. Laziness. Impatience. (Yeah, I had to say it twice). The need to fight until a resolution has been made, even if I don't necessarily believe in what I am fighting for.
X – X-rays or Ultrasounds?
Ultrasounds! They can use that technology for soothing muscles and breaking up lactic acid. I am all for it. Yeehaw.
Y- Your Favorite Foods.
I like salads of all types. I dunno. I am not a huge eater. I will eat and enjoy anything my mom or my sister will cook for me. (and go back for more)
Z- Zodiac: Cancer. I don't know if I really fill the Cancer type, though. My moon is in Leo. (Okay, I am the quintessential Cancer with a touch of Leo. Seriously. Poster-child!)

Friday, April 20, 2007

How is this okay?

The Westboro Baptist Church is at it again. Who joins these kinds of hate groups? The delightful band of morons will be protesting at the funeral of Ryan Clark, a 22 year old student killed in the Virginia Tech carnage, tomorrow in Georgia.

According to their news release, the 33 killed at VT were killed to atone for America's having persecuted the Westboro Baptist Church. Oh, here I thought some boy had lost his mind, but it was all for WBC.

These people are all certifiable. Freedom of speech is a great thing, but at what point does it simply become insanity?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Make like a tree and leave

I know I am a little late in sharing this, but I have been busy! Back off!
Monday was a frustrating travel day. One of the roads I take to work was closed and they gave no warning, so once I committed to the off ramp, I was trapped behind a police car, a massive line of traffic, and a broken tree. I managed to turn around and get to work sort of on time.
The homeward trip took a bit longer. An hour and a half longer, to be exact. It took me two hours to get home. I have to say that I concert I gave in my car with the help of my IPOD was impressive. You should have been there!
I figured the stoppage in traffic was due to another tree having been too weak to withstand the nagging of the wind, and I was right. I did not expect, however, to be treated to the sight of three fully uniformed Park Police officers breaking branches by hopping up and down on them and playing a game of tug of war. These men took this job so seriously, but I have to thank them for not being able to shed their little boy sides when it came to freeing us of the street infringing rudeness of a broken tree.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Fantasy Prose

*This is only fantasy.

I am walking down the narrow sidewalk when I notice that my way coming is a well dressed middle aged couple, walking side by side. I edge over as far as I can to get out the way and the woman part of the couple responds by making herself wider. Her big ugly yellow quilted handbaggy thing, filled will all sorts of fantastic frosty Chanel lipsticks and talcum powder containers, hits me square in the chest.

As a force of reaction, and nothing else, I protect myself from the vicious handbag attack of space encroaching woman and push her out of my way with both arms. She goes flying into tomorrow. Ferragamo wallet lies broken on the street. Teach you to force me off the sidewalk.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Cause it's ONE, TWO THREE strikes yer oouuuuuuttt

Oh, glorious opening day of baseball. There is nothing more decadent than a sausage and a beer in the stands of a ball game when everyone else is still at work. Okay, so maybe we had to wait 14 hours to get the sausage and missed a dead president gliding down a rope across the stadium. But it was worth it!
And maybe I don’t have skin on the small of my back anymore, due to the sliding in and out of our seats through the guardrail, so as not to bother the lovely people to our right and the slightly scary pervert to our left.
And maybe the Nats lost, but we did have a glorious view of Ryan Church bending over. We may or may not have gotten louder and more verbose about the state of his affairs as the game (and beers) progressed.

Thank you to the parade of people whom we loudly judged from our seats who pretended they couldn’t hear us. And guy with no shirt and the argyle socks: Law-rah wants to take your picture.
Dead guy on the hood of his car in the parking lot: when you lie like that, we can see your boxers. They were dark plaid.
All ya'll with your baseball caps on your heads who then placed your free cap over it: You guys are the epitome of kewl. Especially those of you with three hats facing in every which direction.
Hey guy wearing the rally cap: save it for the playoffs. Seriously. Rally cap at the opening game. That would be like hockey players sporting playoff beards on the first day of their season. Figure it out. Sheesh!
And finally, to the guy who was wearing his jeans low and also forgot to wear a shirt: if you are going to flash your underpants, try to get a pair someplace besides K-Mart. I am not certain I know of any girl who swoons over tighty-whitey brand underpants (10 for $1!!) (Slight misnomer here. His panties were gray, not white.)

Go Nationals.