Simon Cowelllllllll

The following is said with major apology to the man I love. No one holds a candle to him. That said...
It's sick how Simon Cowell gets to me. I can't explain it. His pissy Britishness breaks me. He is out of shape and has a funny hairdo. Still, I like how he sits with his arms crossed and I like the stunned/hysterical/angry/and/or bewildered look he gets on his face and how he is brutally honest to people. His cantankerous attitude pleases me and am certain that he and Paula Abdul had some sessions that involved someone shouting "I am going to Hollywood!!" (That is NOT pleasing to me... Seriously, she looks like a llama.) But his horrible meanness is wildly attractive.. (I am not sure about his man-boobs that he proudly displays in his snug v-neck t-shirts.) That's enough out of me. Sorry to all that I offend with this information. It seems that I am alone on the boat of Simon Cowell. Yet, he is my celebrity crush. I am truly pathetic. But it always seems that people have celebrity crushes on people so much better looking than their partner. I can't do better than mine, so I have to go for bizarre celebrity...
Don't mock me. I know I am weird.

PS.. Maybe I just want to smack him around a bit...
PS2... I hate people who snap when they sing. I really hate it a lot.
PS3.... Why do people feel they need to add dance steps?
PS4..... The people who look weird, or have a gimmick, can't sing.
PS5...... JEN! They are going to Cleveland! WOOOOO! Winking Lizard, here we come!!!!!