Big boobs make up for anything!

Okay, so I was watching MTV's Making the Video: Jessica Simpson These Boots are Made for Walking.
First of all, she can't sing. It hurts my ears and makes me go deaf. It is akin to a fork being run along a chalkboard. Ouchie.
She moves her mouth in a weird way, like her jaw is rubberbanded shut and she is struggling against the rubberbands. And when she does open her mouth, I am temporarily blinded by the whiteness of her teeth. (Much like people are blinded when exposed to the whiteness of my legs.)
She is slightly demonic looking. Like an imp. It scares me. And her father scares me. And her sister scares me. (Even if, shamefully, I have Ashlee's cd.)
Jessica's body is rocking! So hot! I want her body. Even if she is tanning it in order to look more like Louis Vuitton bag. And she has big boobs which is apparently always a good thing.