Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Water... (Say it like Seinfeld says "Newman" )

Stupid water sucking in my virtual golfball. I think I would have totally won the damn Golden tee golf game, if not for the damn water. Damn water.
I love the bowling game. We only played three frames andyet I had two strikes. Kick ass. Maybe that is the game I wanna play from now on. No water in bowling. Stupid water. (but I only lost by a stroke.)- (That's what he said... hahahaha. G'night folks! Try the veal. Ba dum bum.)

How youuuuu doin'?

Ever since I was a wee little thing, I have loved to chat people up. My mom used to always say that the only reason she knew about my neighbors was because I had been there and gotten their whole life story out of them within the first five minutes of conversation. I have always been a chatterbox and I like to meet random people. When I was a teenager, I tested ground by throwing out bizarre questions at strangers I met, to see how they would react. I was fascinated by the reactions to questions like, “Do you believe in capital punishment?”. I have always had an attraction to personal dynamics. I love to see how people respond to situations and to each other. I also like attention. I am used to it and it comes natural to me to attract it. So when does that stop being harmless flirting? I looked up flirting in the dictionary.

1. Coquette: a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men

I don’t think of myself as all that seductive. I guess I can be if I want someone, but on a general basis, I am not trying to exploit anyone. But this one got me thinking. What if the person I smile at thinks I am being seductive. It is not my intention, yet people misread cues all the time. But on the other hand, rarely do I get asked out. Maybe I do and it just does not have an effect on me and so I don’t pay attention? But I can see how this is harmful, especially when in a relationship. It is just something I never really thought about. I think I need to think about other people’s feelings a lot more. I think one of my bigger problems is that I really don’t have any bad intentions. Therefore, I can’t understand why someone would think I do. It does not even cross my mind, most of the time, to think that someone thinks that I have something up my sleeve. I am just trying to laugh a bit. But as I get older, and have been in more situations, I realize that feelings are easy to hurt.

2. Chat up: talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions; "The guys always try to chat up the new secretaries"; "My husband never flirts with other women"

See, this is me. This is how I categorize myself. I like to talk to people. I like to laugh and make other people laugh. I think that performer in me has never gone away. I honestly believe that most people see my intentions like this. Harmless. Just chatting. I think that when you go to a bar, part of the reason is to be out amongst others. And I don’t have a problem when people talk to people. The only caveat is that if you are on a date and you are chatting up the people at the bar next to you, be sure to involve the person that you are with. But I never have intentions that are anything less than honorable. Who knows, maybe you make a new friend. But, usually no. And I know that. My intention is to have fun. With people. And then go home. Alone. (Or with whomever I came with.)
My question is, what is considered flirting? I always thought that it was with the intention to hit on someone. I don’t think I am a flirt in that regard. But I do love to talk to people. I love it. I also love it when the people I am with are having fun and chatting people up. It demonstrates to me that they are relaxed and having a nice time. Though I do have to reiterate that you need to involve your friends, or your date, or whoever.
I think a little flirting can be a harmless ego boost. Maybe I am more insecure than I think I am. Maybe the onus should be on the datee of the flirter to flirt with her/him (the flirter). I would way rather engage in conversation with my date than some random person.
But I don’t ever want someone to be uncomfortable around me. That makes me so sad. That goes against everything that I am. I think a lot of my personality stems from wanting to make everyone happy and feel safe. I guess that backfires on me sometimes. I also think that communication is a key to all of this, too.
If you are out with your girl, or guy, and she/he is chatting with someone, join the conversation. They want you to. Your guy/girl wants you to.
But what if someone is lurking. Would I be to blame because someone wanted to talk to me? What is my best way of handling the situation? I know this sounds dumb, but if the role were reversed, I would touch my man. (If I noticed some fine chica hovering around.) I would whisper something in his ear. I don’t know. But I would let her know he was mine. And I would truly expect that he would respond in kind to me. But what should I do in the circumstances of a lurker? Should I cut him off? Be rude? Say beat it? I would like to be polite. Besides, if someone is rudely brushed off, isn’t that much more of a lead in to a brawl than a polite no thank you? If you have any thoughts on this, please say so. I would like to know what my best reaction should be. I have never had any problems with people being extraordinarily rude to me or wanting to start something, and I think it is because I am friendly, but I also show that I am not interested. I know people who know me may go, huh? But I usually think it is pretty clear that I am not interested and that person will go away. I know Marci can back me up on this. Like I said, I like to have fun, but I am not flirting to get somewhere.
A friend of mine was invited to go out with a group of people after an event one night by a minor celebrity. She thought it would be fun to hang out with him and his friends and hers. Like me, her intentions were good and she did not think anything of it. But her friends talked her out of it. She was in a serious relationship. They asked her how her guy would feel about. We talked about this situation, my friend and I. I was in the same opinion as her. In my head, it was just a night out. A fun time. Nothing sinister. Nothing dirty. But we talked about it for a long time. And we attacked it from her guy’s point of view. We realized that it would be hurtful, even though the purpose was not anything raunchy at all. But it was enlightening to see someone else with my point of view in regards to an “innocent” night out.
It might take me a while. I am learning. It is hard to change your mindset. I never intend to hurt people. It’s hard to change my mind about being friendly. But when your friendliness wounds someone you care about, that is just cruel.
I apologize. I never realized I could be so mean by being friendly. (I know that might come across like I am being facetious, but I am not.) I know I sure as hell am no saint, but I also have never hurt anyone intentionally.
I am also not going to say that I will change. It’s ingrained. I hope that I can adjust myself to be more thoughtful.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

They are an emergency floatation device.

Lisa Rinna loks like a goldfish suffering an allergic reaction. Her upper lip is just getting bigger and bigger and I am afraid that at some point it will simply envelope her own head, fulfilling someone's request for her to pull her lips up over her head and swallow herself. (I do not know of this desire first hand, but I am guessing that she has received it.) Alls I am saying is YIKES! Posted by Hello

I can see what you are doing..

Do I look like a complete idiot? I think people must think I am so naïve.
I am not that naive, but I do cater to other people's feelings more than my own and therefore look like I can't see what is going on. But I just want to state that I generally have a pretty good idea. I just want to be able to trust people, but the more people I meet, the harder it becomes. And I guess that I am a little more than insulted by the utter disregard people have for anyone but themselves.

Don't really care... Just being polite

Hi, how are you?
What is the appropriate response to this? I mean, you know the person does not really care how you are. I know I don’t care when I say it and as soon as it slips from my lips, I am trying hard as I can to reel it back in. I mean, what if this person wants to tell me how they really are? Am I committed to taking the time to hear it all? Am I sympathetic to their troubles? Am I interested in their latest psychological break-though? Not really. It’s just a fly-by smack on the ass. Don’t really want much more than a nod.
Saying “how are you” and not wanting to hear how someone is, is equal to being in a car and honking at the hottie walking down the street. What’s the hottie supposed to do? Take off running after your car and say, boy am I glad you honked? Woo, I think you are hot, too.
I have a boss who consistently asks how I am doing and then in mid story just walks off. I never know what to do. Should I follow him and continue my tale? Usually I just remain behind and am bewildered. Are my tales that boring? Or is it my presentation that needs work?
Is there something better that we could acknowledge people with? Talking about the weather is just as bad, if not worse.
Person 1: Boy, it sure is a hot day, today.
Ø Mm hmm
Ø Sure is
Ø Yeah, my shorts are soaked through! (Thanks a lot, perv in my office.)

I mean, really. There is no place to go with that.
I am going to work on better ways to acknowledge people. I came up with some ideas… Maybe a good way to greet people would be to just throw your juiciest bits right out on the table.
Ø Hey there, my eyeballs are sinking into my brain.
Ø I have a bladder infection.
Ø I get bloody noses when I am nervous.. Aw crap, there it goes…

I know they are kind of hit and run, too. But at least they would be interesting? Anything is better than the half-assed “howya doin?”

An instant message exchange. (Is Buggie six?)

MHG (9:54:04 AM): Okay...okay....(and remember.....I do this for you)

what's updog?

Buggie (9:56:58 AM): Not much. What's up with you, Dog?
Buggie (9:57:03 AM): hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

knock knock... Yeah, that's all I got.

I have unlearned how to be funny. It is a sad thing and I hope you all mourn with me. Hopefully with some treatment and some therapy, I can be funny again. And not just funny looking, you yuksters.

Anyone got some updog?

Ask not for whom the bell tolls.

I have a Motorola V phone. It is a piece of crap. It reprograms itself and changes its ring tone and just basically does whatever the hell it pleases, with no regard for me. It was a flashy phone, yet horrendously ugly, especially when I consider the models I had before it. I am sure I carry it around as some sort of status symbol. It may have been impressive to someone once. But now it is just a piece of crap that has been around a lot.
I don’t believe I will ever have a product from Motorola again. I feel like the company took all the good things the cellular industry did and is banking on them without having done any hard work themselves.
Even the Cingular guys say the phone with most problems is a Motorola. Time for a German brand. Maybe I will get a Siemens phone.

It's like I can't breathe.

When I get stressed out, my nasal passages and my throat tend to swell shut and I have a really hard time breathing. It’s the weirdest thing and there is nothing I can do about it.
When I was a little kid, my sister and I went to Germany to visit my aunt. Being completely tied to my mother, I started to freak out one night (as she was not in Germany with us), and just stopped breathing. I simply forgot how to. My sister grabbed me and brought me to the kitchen where she gave me a tablespoon of “medicine”. I trusted my sister entirely and threw this stuff into my throat. It was vinegar and it shocked me into breathing normally again.
Even now when I am panicking and have forgotten how to breathe, I am fine if I can distract myself, or shock myself out of it.
I don’t know why I am so stressed right now. And I don’t know how to shock myself out of it. It’s a lot more stressful than I knew to be so sorely disappointed.
But I would not like a tablespoon of vinegar again. Unless my sister is doling it out.

Monday, June 20, 2005

If you don't like what I write, stop reading

I know that being honest is hard, but don't people realize after a while that it's easier to be honest right off the bat than to spend the rest of your life cleaning up the mess that your lies made?

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Sunday's wish

I wish good people had good things coming to them, and bad people got bad things. It always seems to me that awful people are rewarded for their behavior.
So my wish is that karma exists.

Wish for Saturday

I wish that Rich would stop introducing me to new shows. I love Veronica Mars. Damn you. (Except I love it, so keep it up.)

Coffee please

Why is it that when I order a latte from a coffee shoppe, it is always topped with a hearty amount of foam? I did not order a cappuccino. I ordered a latte. A latte is defined as a shot of espresso with hot steamed milk, no foam. NO FOAM! So why, if I want a proper latte, do I have to order a no foam latte? That is like ordering a no carbonation orange juice. What? You say that orange juice is not carbonated? EXACTLY! Bastards! Start making lattes right.
And on a related note, if I order a grande latte, I would like it to be filled to the top of the cup, not just halfway full. If I had wanted a tall, that's what I would have ordered.