Happy birthday to Me, the United States and America's hat.(That would be Canada..)

Marci and I are off, like a prom dress! But we'll be back next Tuesday and have plenty of stories to tell and pictures to show. Have a great Canada Day and a fantastic Fourth o'July.

Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh!

They took 4 vials of my precious blood today. FOUR! And the technician was cute, but I could not even flirt with him because I was so preoccupied by the really sharp device that was invading my perfect skin and taking with it my life fluid. And it really hurt. And I yelped like a wounded chipmunk.
I went back to work with a great big band-aid and a great big pout and made my boss pull the band-aid off when he made fun of me for it. (Otherwise it would still be there.)
Then I cried about to anyone who would listen until my other boss called and decided that I was getting old and falling apart and that I probably have high cholesterol and other old people issues like he does and I got mad and told him I hope he pokes himself in the eye.
I ate a bunch of cookies, because I heard that is what you should do when they take your blood.
Now I have a hole in my arm and I plan to whine about it until it heals.

It's my birfday dinner.

Dear Jen made me a birthday dinner. It involved a very complicated salad and tomato bisque. Um, YUM! Then Marci has to say, "Now it's your turn to cook for us, Bug. We have both done it. Cook for us, Bug. Cook for us!" NO! you guys should peel grapes and stuff for me. (It's all about me. Right? )

Are you two available for a home cooked meal at chez Bug in two weeks?

Wine, it makes me feel so fine

Very smart, Jen.. Supply the wine and we WILL have a good time. (notice how Marci's glass is nowhere to be seen? Curious.)

Presents!!!!

I am really really nearsighted.

I have a very pointy chin And scary insect like fingers. But I plan to stay cute.

Let's play madlibs!!! (Hours of entertainment)

Ahhhh, madlibs. This is one of the ones I did. "Bug was my friend before she touched my cupcakes." (Sounds troubling)

Maybe someday someone will want to unwrap me?

I got nothing. But I look festive as a gift, no? What's with the weird skin foldage in my armpit? and why did I feel the urge to raise an eyebrow?

Go to Australia, see a ballgame in every MLB stadium, be on the cover of a magazine, get married, fly in a hot air balloon.....

Jennyfur gave me a book. I guess the heart issue really resonated with her and she wants to be sure that I quickly get started on the things I need to get done before I die. (Not that I am dying. Jeepers...) Notice my ET-like fingers. I honestly had no idea I was such a freak.

Just keep it in the closet

One of the things to do before I die is to come out of the closet. I figured I should tackle this right away. Here I am. Coming out of the closet. 1 down, 99 to go! The next is to find my birth mother. I mean, she has been in Germany long enough. I miss you.

Marci's muffins.

Marci made party cupcake surprises. She was halfway through the recipe before she figured out the surprise was that they are blueberry muffins.
But she jazzed em up with pink frosting and sprinkles. (They were yum!!!) So was the lemon sorbet.
And all the people in my office really enjoyed her muffins this morning. It's disgusting, really, how she gets around.

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart.

I was fondled twice in the chestular region today!
Turns out that breathing is a vital part of my day to day activities and since my sister did not pick up on the hint to fly here and administer vinegar to her ailing sister, I had to take my panting self to the doctor. There I was manhandled by a Polish Nurse (put your weird fantasies here... but keep them somewhat clean. My family reads this.) She placed electrodes all over me and I had my first EKG. (Shouldn't it be ECG - electrocardiogram?) She did not get my heart pumping too hard it seems. So off I wandered into a cardiologist's office where I was taken advantage of, again! I had a sonogram of my heart done there and it appears that my heart plays "Whip it!" by Devo.
I did get a talking to by the nurse in the cardiologists office that I am very sensitive, but that's a good thing. People need someone sensitive in their lives because life is hard, but that I shouldn't let myself get stressed out. She said I should stop being so stubborn and start to play the game. I told her that I don't want to play any games and she retorted that life is a game and I should think about what she said. And I told her I would, because I will. She knew me all of three seconds and could read me like a damn book. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Guess that's why she works at the cardiologist.
By the way, I think the diagnosis was a broken heart. We are going to run some more tests.

On a related note. I want this, too. Sigh...

But, if I got those boots, I might not need this. Get together, people, before you buy my birthday gifts. Thanking you!

Gimme gimme gimme

So I am not a Jessica Simpson fan, but her boots sparked a little girl desire in me to own a pair of cowboy boots (and Wonder Woman Underroos, but that's a different story.). I want these! I want them so badly.
I think I would be very kicky in these AND (if I am still going off of the Jessica Simpson video) I could totally kick ass in these. So, not only do I want them, but I need them. Not that I really need to kick any ass... Oh, I just would be so very cute in them. Maybe I could wrangle me a cowboy.
If I got them, I would have to cut off all of my jeans. And get a deep tan. And whiten my teeth. See why I can't afford to buy them myself?
I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want! I want!

Girls born under the sign of Cancer are soooo hot!

Happy Birthday Harmskaneeze!

Let your sun light shine on yourself. You deserve the very best and I hope this is your best birthday to date.
Remember, you have never been older than you are right now. Wait, that's not what anyone wants to hear...
Remember, I am always almost a year older than you. That should do it.

And his voice sounds a bit like Mr.T.

OMIGOD!!!!
I was watching The Family Guy on Fox and the episode was partially about Chris and his pimple.
A few years ago, my then boyfriend had a pimple that was rather unfortunate for him and I named it Doug. I would greet the boyfriend, and then I would greet Doug.
Chris's pimple was named Doug, too! Is Fox following me around and taking my personal funniness and using it to make clever television?

C is for cookie

I baked cookies tonight from a mix that expired in Nov. 2004. The eggs I used were suspect as well. (Sell by date was June 19.) I looked online and they said that eggs are good after the sell by date for a couple of weeks. I am not completely terrified by the end product. (My cookies.) I have already eaten 5 of them. And they are good. Am I suicidal? I dunno. But it would be a hell of a way to go, doncha think?
"Poor Bug. So sad."
"How'd she do it?"
"Expired cookies, man. Expired cookies."

I do I do I do...

I went to a really nice wedding yesterday. I looked damn good, too as long as you did not get close enough to notice that my shoes were stapled together. Apparently Bebe's shoes are shoddily made. But they are sexy! It's fun to get dressed up.
The wedding was on a ship and was set up beautifully. The first thing I noticed was the huge chocolate fountain which I actually mangaed to keep out of until after the ceremony. AND once I did go after it, I kept it off of my dress unlike the time we had a chocolate fountain at my work Christmas party and our CFO came over to me and asked if I had enjoyed the chocolate fountain. As we were no where near it, I said Yummy, but how did you know I had enjoyed it? I looked at my shirt and I would assume that more chocolate made it onto my shirt than into my mouth. Cool!
There is nothing awesomer than going to a wedding by yourself. The people that I knew came mid-ceremony. It was a little awkward. You know people are staring at you. I don't ever know where to look and I am too shy to approach anyone. So I stand back and examine my terrible manicure.
The pastor kept bringing up love. One thing he said that I really like was that now that they are married, they can never let anyone say anything against their spouse. That the two are a unit and will have to always put each other first. Then he looked around the room and said that everyone witnessing their nuptials was also responsible to keep these two together, that no one should ever take sides and to always be supportive of both. I liked that. I feel like people unintentionally sabotage people's relationships because of personal disappointments.
The reception was nice, because we cruised the river and it was a perfect night. I think it was such a nice idea to have the wedding on a ship.

Water... (Say it like Seinfeld says "Newman" )

Stupid water sucking in my virtual golfball. I think I would have totally won the damn Golden tee golf game, if not for the damn water. Damn water.
I love the bowling game. We only played three frames andyet I had two strikes. Kick ass. Maybe that is the game I wanna play from now on. No water in bowling. Stupid water. (but I only lost by a stroke.)- (That's what he said... hahahaha. G'night folks! Try the veal. Ba dum bum.)

How youuuuu doin'?

Ever since I was a wee little thing, I have loved to chat people up. My mom used to always say that the only reason she knew about my neighbors was because I had been there and gotten their whole life story out of them within the first five minutes of conversation. I have always been a chatterbox and I like to meet random people. When I was a teenager, I tested ground by throwing out bizarre questions at strangers I met, to see how they would react. I was fascinated by the reactions to questions like, “Do you believe in capital punishment?”. I have always had an attraction to personal dynamics. I love to see how people respond to situations and to each other. I also like attention. I am used to it and it comes natural to me to attract it. So when does that stop being harmless flirting? I looked up flirting in the dictionary.

1. Coquette: a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men

I don’t think of myself as all that seductive. I guess I can be if I want someone, but on a general basis, I am not trying to exploit anyone. But this one got me thinking. What if the person I smile at thinks I am being seductive. It is not my intention, yet people misread cues all the time. But on the other hand, rarely do I get asked out. Maybe I do and it just does not have an effect on me and so I don’t pay attention? But I can see how this is harmful, especially when in a relationship. It is just something I never really thought about. I think I need to think about other people’s feelings a lot more. I think one of my bigger problems is that I really don’t have any bad intentions. Therefore, I can’t understand why someone would think I do. It does not even cross my mind, most of the time, to think that someone thinks that I have something up my sleeve. I am just trying to laugh a bit. But as I get older, and have been in more situations, I realize that feelings are easy to hurt.

2. Chat up: talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions; "The guys always try to chat up the new secretaries"; "My husband never flirts with other women"

See, this is me. This is how I categorize myself. I like to talk to people. I like to laugh and make other people laugh. I think that performer in me has never gone away. I honestly believe that most people see my intentions like this. Harmless. Just chatting. I think that when you go to a bar, part of the reason is to be out amongst others. And I don’t have a problem when people talk to people. The only caveat is that if you are on a date and you are chatting up the people at the bar next to you, be sure to involve the person that you are with. But I never have intentions that are anything less than honorable. Who knows, maybe you make a new friend. But, usually no. And I know that. My intention is to have fun. With people. And then go home. Alone. (Or with whomever I came with.)
My question is, what is considered flirting? I always thought that it was with the intention to hit on someone. I don’t think I am a flirt in that regard. But I do love to talk to people. I love it. I also love it when the people I am with are having fun and chatting people up. It demonstrates to me that they are relaxed and having a nice time. Though I do have to reiterate that you need to involve your friends, or your date, or whoever.
I think a little flirting can be a harmless ego boost. Maybe I am more insecure than I think I am. Maybe the onus should be on the datee of the flirter to flirt with her/him (the flirter). I would way rather engage in conversation with my date than some random person.
But I don’t ever want someone to be uncomfortable around me. That makes me so sad. That goes against everything that I am. I think a lot of my personality stems from wanting to make everyone happy and feel safe. I guess that backfires on me sometimes. I also think that communication is a key to all of this, too.
If you are out with your girl, or guy, and she/he is chatting with someone, join the conversation. They want you to. Your guy/girl wants you to.
But what if someone is lurking. Would I be to blame because someone wanted to talk to me? What is my best way of handling the situation? I know this sounds dumb, but if the role were reversed, I would touch my man. (If I noticed some fine chica hovering around.) I would whisper something in his ear. I don’t know. But I would let her know he was mine. And I would truly expect that he would respond in kind to me. But what should I do in the circumstances of a lurker? Should I cut him off? Be rude? Say beat it? I would like to be polite. Besides, if someone is rudely brushed off, isn’t that much more of a lead in to a brawl than a polite no thank you? If you have any thoughts on this, please say so. I would like to know what my best reaction should be. I have never had any problems with people being extraordinarily rude to me or wanting to start something, and I think it is because I am friendly, but I also show that I am not interested. I know people who know me may go, huh? But I usually think it is pretty clear that I am not interested and that person will go away. I know Marci can back me up on this. Like I said, I like to have fun, but I am not flirting to get somewhere.
A friend of mine was invited to go out with a group of people after an event one night by a minor celebrity. She thought it would be fun to hang out with him and his friends and hers. Like me, her intentions were good and she did not think anything of it. But her friends talked her out of it. She was in a serious relationship. They asked her how her guy would feel about. We talked about this situation, my friend and I. I was in the same opinion as her. In my head, it was just a night out. A fun time. Nothing sinister. Nothing dirty. But we talked about it for a long time. And we attacked it from her guy’s point of view. We realized that it would be hurtful, even though the purpose was not anything raunchy at all. But it was enlightening to see someone else with my point of view in regards to an “innocent” night out.
It might take me a while. I am learning. It is hard to change your mindset. I never intend to hurt people. It’s hard to change my mind about being friendly. But when your friendliness wounds someone you care about, that is just cruel.
I apologize. I never realized I could be so mean by being friendly. (I know that might come across like I am being facetious, but I am not.) I know I sure as hell am no saint, but I also have never hurt anyone intentionally.
I am also not going to say that I will change. It’s ingrained. I hope that I can adjust myself to be more thoughtful.

They are an emergency floatation device.

Lisa Rinna loks like a goldfish suffering an allergic reaction. Her upper lip is just getting bigger and bigger and I am afraid that at some point it will simply envelope her own head, fulfilling someone's request for her to pull her lips up over her head and swallow herself. (I do not know of this desire first hand, but I am guessing that she has received it.) Alls I am saying is YIKES! 

I can see what you are doing..

Do I look like a complete idiot? I think people must think I am so naïve.
I am not that naive, but I do cater to other people's feelings more than my own and therefore look like I can't see what is going on. But I just want to state that I generally have a pretty good idea. I just want to be able to trust people, but the more people I meet, the harder it becomes. And I guess that I am a little more than insulted by the utter disregard people have for anyone but themselves.

Don't really care... Just being polite

Hi, how are you?
What is the appropriate response to this? I mean, you know the person does not really care how you are. I know I don’t care when I say it and as soon as it slips from my lips, I am trying hard as I can to reel it back in. I mean, what if this person wants to tell me how they really are? Am I committed to taking the time to hear it all? Am I sympathetic to their troubles? Am I interested in their latest psychological break-though? Not really. It’s just a fly-by smack on the ass. Don’t really want much more than a nod.
Saying “how are you” and not wanting to hear how someone is, is equal to being in a car and honking at the hottie walking down the street. What’s the hottie supposed to do? Take off running after your car and say, boy am I glad you honked? Woo, I think you are hot, too.
I have a boss who consistently asks how I am doing and then in mid story just walks off. I never know what to do. Should I follow him and continue my tale? Usually I just remain behind and am bewildered. Are my tales that boring? Or is it my presentation that needs work?
Is there something better that we could acknowledge people with? Talking about the weather is just as bad, if not worse.
Example:
Person 1: Boy, it sure is a hot day, today.
Responses:
Ø Mm hmm
Ø Sure is
Ø Yeah, my shorts are soaked through! (Thanks a lot, perv in my office.)

I mean, really. There is no place to go with that.
I am going to work on better ways to acknowledge people. I came up with some ideas… Maybe a good way to greet people would be to just throw your juiciest bits right out on the table.
Examples:
Ø Hey there, my eyeballs are sinking into my brain.
Ø I have a bladder infection.
Ø I get bloody noses when I am nervous.. Aw crap, there it goes…

I know they are kind of hit and run, too. But at least they would be interesting? Anything is better than the half-assed “howya doin?”

An instant message exchange. (Is Buggie six?)

MHG (9:54:04 AM): Okay...okay....(and remember.....I do this for you)

what's updog?

Buggie (9:56:58 AM): Not much. What's up with you, Dog?
Buggie (9:57:03 AM): hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha

knock knock... Yeah, that's all I got.

I have unlearned how to be funny. It is a sad thing and I hope you all mourn with me. Hopefully with some treatment and some therapy, I can be funny again. And not just funny looking, you yuksters.

Anyone got some updog?

Ask not for whom the bell tolls.

I have a Motorola V phone. It is a piece of crap. It reprograms itself and changes its ring tone and just basically does whatever the hell it pleases, with no regard for me. It was a flashy phone, yet horrendously ugly, especially when I consider the models I had before it. I am sure I carry it around as some sort of status symbol. It may have been impressive to someone once. But now it is just a piece of crap that has been around a lot.
I don’t believe I will ever have a product from Motorola again. I feel like the company took all the good things the cellular industry did and is banking on them without having done any hard work themselves.
Even the Cingular guys say the phone with most problems is a Motorola. Time for a German brand. Maybe I will get a Siemens phone.

It's like I can't breathe.

When I get stressed out, my nasal passages and my throat tend to swell shut and I have a really hard time breathing. It’s the weirdest thing and there is nothing I can do about it.
When I was a little kid, my sister and I went to Germany to visit my aunt. Being completely tied to my mother, I started to freak out one night (as she was not in Germany with us), and just stopped breathing. I simply forgot how to. My sister grabbed me and brought me to the kitchen where she gave me a tablespoon of “medicine”. I trusted my sister entirely and threw this stuff into my throat. It was vinegar and it shocked me into breathing normally again.
Even now when I am panicking and have forgotten how to breathe, I am fine if I can distract myself, or shock myself out of it.
I don’t know why I am so stressed right now. And I don’t know how to shock myself out of it. It’s a lot more stressful than I knew to be so sorely disappointed.
But I would not like a tablespoon of vinegar again. Unless my sister is doling it out.

If you don't like what I write, stop reading

I know that being honest is hard, but don't people realize after a while that it's easier to be honest right off the bat than to spend the rest of your life cleaning up the mess that your lies made?

Sunday's wish

I wish good people had good things coming to them, and bad people got bad things. It always seems to me that awful people are rewarded for their behavior.
So my wish is that karma exists.

Wish for Saturday

I wish that Rich would stop introducing me to new shows. I love Veronica Mars. Damn you. (Except I love it, so keep it up.)

Coffee please

Why is it that when I order a latte from a coffee shoppe, it is always topped with a hearty amount of foam? I did not order a cappuccino. I ordered a latte. A latte is defined as a shot of espresso with hot steamed milk, no foam. NO FOAM! So why, if I want a proper latte, do I have to order a no foam latte? That is like ordering a no carbonation orange juice. What? You say that orange juice is not carbonated? EXACTLY! Bastards! Start making lattes right.
And on a related note, if I order a grande latte, I would like it to be filled to the top of the cup, not just halfway full. If I had wanted a tall, that's what I would have ordered.

Today's Wish

I wish that finding someone to love was not such a big part of life.

If this is giving up, then I'm giving up.

Tonight I met some friends out at a bar. I looked around and decided that I wanted to meet a boy that I thought was cute and flirt a little. So we go and talk to these three guys who are a bit younger than we are. But they are cute. And I realize that I don't know how to flirt and mean it anymore. I don't think I will ever unlearn how to just flirt with people, but to flirt and want someone out of the flirting is different.
It took me a long time to fall in love. (For the first and only time.) I think I am very careful about my feelings and am not that willing to let just anyone trample over them. I thought I really had something. I thought that I was in love with someone who was in love with me and it turns out that it just was not good enough.
I want to be in love. But I am not sure I believe it exists.
And now I am not sure that I am up for being a victim of love.
I want a family and a partner to support and to support me, but I am not sure that balance is available anymore. Especially as every day I get older and further off of the motherhood playing field.
I thought I had everything and it turns out I have nothing. The worst part is to find that the person that you trusted with all your feelings and all your intimate thoughts turns out to be the biggest liar and betrayer. Even worse, such a coward that he can't face up to what he has done. Even Utah is too good for you.

I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job!

That's my new mantra at work, because I seem to be everyone's lackey now. One of our senior people came down to ask me to do something for him. That kind of thing never happens. He is on the floor 3 floors higher than mine. I think they are seeing how far they can push me before I go postal and my company can join the ranks of some of the other companies that are heavily in the news with such great controversies like the CEO shacking up with a secretary, etc.
After three months of doing both my job and my old job, which they have yet to fill since promoting me, I went in to grumble at my boss. Now, I have done all the work, staying overtime when need be, with only minor frowning... But today, well, I had to pout loudly. This is what conspired...
Me: Why have we not filled that position yet?
Boss: Um, mumble, mumble...
Me: [hands on hips]
Boss: Well, you know that we are waiting for the most over qualified person we can find.
Me: Right. Well, this is unfair.
Boss: But you are doing a great job.
Me: Duh. [glaring]
Boss: You like being busy.
Me: I know, but that is not the point. It's not fair.
Boss: Let's have a meeting about it (never). Now don't you feel like there are some people out there you have not helped today? Get out there so I can call you back in here (every 5 seconds).

(Just for the record, it is a great job. But they will take advantage until you put your foot down, and then they take some more and try to appease you by saying, but you do it so well. Punks. And I know, why don't I find another job... They pay me lots! But eventually I will. So don't start. Sometimes I just need to vent. )

My wish for today

I would like to be able to not worry about things that are out of my control.

Big boobs make up for anything!

Okay, so I was watching MTV's Making the Video: Jessica Simpson These Boots are Made for Walking.
First of all, she can't sing. It hurts my ears and makes me go deaf. It is akin to a fork being run along a chalkboard. Ouchie.
She moves her mouth in a weird way, like her jaw is rubberbanded shut and she is struggling against the rubberbands. And when she does open her mouth, I am temporarily blinded by the whiteness of her teeth. (Much like people are blinded when exposed to the whiteness of my legs.)
She is slightly demonic looking. Like an imp. It scares me. And her father scares me. And her sister scares me. (Even if, shamefully, I have Ashlee's cd.)
Jessica's body is rocking! So hot! I want her body. Even if she is tanning it in order to look more like Louis Vuitton bag. And she has big boobs which is apparently always a good thing.

Oh, he's questionable at best... Not-guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt...? Not a chance.

Way to go, California justice system. Proving once again how fair you are. Come on! Not even a guilty verdict for giving the kids booze? In a can!?! Calling it Jesus juice!?! Can we indict him on being the biggest freak ever?
If I plan on committing a crime, I am going to become famous and move to California. (In some order...) I can get away with anything.
Murdered your wife and some dude? Sure! Go play golf, buddy.
Murdered your ugly wife? That's okay. She was ugly. Go do the Larry King Live show, pal. Touch little kids and be a living anime character? Well, you do own the Beatles stuff, so I am sure you meant no harm by it. Enjoy the rollercoaster, you freak!
Damn!
Californians must have a combined IQ of 4. (At least the ones who serve on jury duty.)

(Totally stole that picture from this website.)

A pinch to grow an inch...?

Brian Schneider, catcher of the Washington Nationals, (GO NATS!) apparently hurt his bits and pieces during the 8th inning tonight. I have never seen anyone fidget quite so much. And so much adjusting! Poor guy hit a single and was on the bases forever so he could not quite get in there and fix the problem. Whatever it was, it brought the medical guy out after Brian was crouching at first base for a few seconds. But they talked about it, and doling out a gentle pat on the behind, the medic left Brian to his own devices on first base. He ran to second base where he spent a considerable amount of time attempting to eradicate the problem. Then off to third, where it seemed the situation was getting better, though he did need give the problem area a few swipes. Luckily he got to run home and then into the dugout where I am sure after the numerous high fives and bottom patting, he went to attend to his problem in earnest.
Hope all is well, Brian. Good game.

Nationals are number 1!

Marci would like a moment of silence for her idol.

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Anne Bancroft
1931-2005
 

Separated at birth???

Jennifer Wilbanks, forever will be aka "Runaway Bride". Not as cute as Julia Roberts. Looks just like the Psycho from New Brunswick. 

Is this a robot from A.I.?

Gregory Despres, psycho from New Brunswick.
Looks like he is made of plastic.  

Welcome to America!

So, having big, googley eyes IS a sign of craziness!
This guy crossed the border from Canada into the States with an veritable arsenal of bloody weapons. Apparently, he decapitated some Canuck in his hometown. US Custom officials took his bloody tools from him at the border, (Why be so burdened? You can find new, clean tools here in America!) fingerprinted him and welcomed him to the good ole US of A! (I get strip searched at an airport, and this guy sails through?) Their justification was that "Nobody asked us to detain him," Anthony said. "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. ... We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations." So, suspicious, bloody weapons are not a good reason to fins out exactly why he is leaving his country??
Meanwhile, his twin sister awaits him in Georgia where he plans to console her in times of need. Please see photos above.

Ooh, fried like a bug!

I spent the evening cooking up some lovely dinners and froze them. I don't know if you are anything like me, but when I get home, I do not feel like dirtying up a bunch of dishes to make something nutritious just for myself. (And I am really lazy when it comes to food.) So I usually end up with a fudgesicle, or a bowl of cereal. Now I have a freezer full of home cooked meals that I can simply reheat. A while ago, I made a bunch of meals and froze them for a boy I used to date. I thought it would be nice for him to be able to have a nice home cooked meal whenever he wanted. (He ate out a lot.)But I have never done it for myself.
Ass-backwards, I know. I think I am finally learning to put myself first a bit.
While you are cooking up these yummy meals, you will be so proud of your productiveness, that you may even forget that the brush you are using to baste your chicken

(If you are related to me, stop reading here.)

is the brush that came with the chocolate body paint you never got to try out.

My head hurts..

Um, forgive us.
Apparently we become treat eating idjets after you toss a couple of cocktails into our hands. But fear not... We walked everywhere we went and Marci stayed here.
This morning there was rice krispy residue on everything. Gross.
But it is funny how we have so much fun with each other. And interesting how we can sit at a bar for a few hours and not want to talk to anyone for longer than 3 minutes. That seems to be either our attention span, or the amount of time people can deal with us before they have to escape.

FYI

Marci sucks! She totally just broke my really expensive wooden spatula that I used exclusively to make Rice Krispy treats. (Cept I got them at Ikea and they were not pricey.) I am gonna make her pay. Look at what she did!!!!! (b)

II do suck, but she is eatint thetreats now. Maybe it'llbe ok one day. I am not sure, but she is toally loving it like an ice cream cone.SHe makes me eat the line single krispy guys off the broken spoon., WTHF? (m)

Whatevr! I so do notmistreat her in any way!
Typing is hard.. (b)

so hard. drin king too. (m)

MArci's first date, andshe's already being aaabused

Buggie lostherboobs...erbooze.But now it's found. Say yay! Mmm Krispy treats. Treats. Yum,,, do commas mean anything?( disclaimer: we do not feel any desire to fix our ty0pos as we typeas we arenot quite on the side of the soberside of the LAW! So that is whatyou are dealling with, and any other time we would so totally care, but right now we have bigger things on our minds like, mmm, Rice Krispy treats. Deal with it!)
I go tbigger shiiiit on my mind and if you wanto to knwo, you just have to ask me. AS'right?(Marci)
See what I mean? She is sooooooo drunk.

I am sooooo ber.

Not so mufhzz. Much. I think shewants to make out with me. She just hit me with theb rice crispy spoon. I am not that kindof gir.

me either, aya freak. I just wantsome godddamn treats,

comma. shitl/ (0ok. maybe a liitle drunk)....dsigh.

Marci says being drunk is hard.
I say she should not hit me with the treat spoon anymore. Domestic abuse is always frowned upon. Marci is drunk. She is sleeping here tonight.
Pray for me.

Whatever.Go load up the spoon Buggie

what am I, your manservant? I am so hot!! I deserve better!

I ampretty too, treaqt are friggin good, Get 'em outta my hair though.

keep em off my carpet too. 5 second rule should not count here, as my home is like a craxk house. please, cleanoing pesoncome and clean. I ain't gonna do it.

caramel popcorn.
CLEVELAND ROCKS!

We love you soooo much, Jen

more, there is more?

Ok, so my wife, Marci (who is about to snot vodka) and I met out for our usual Friday night date,tonight. She is spending the night tonight because, well, ya gotta keep it real.
Turs out that she ain't no holler back girl. As for me, guess I am still hookd on the boy, my boy. For real! Shiiiiiiii. So there ain't no fear of us getting mixed up in the wrong crowd. We just like
being out with each other, making riice crispy treats.Yum.
Marci is laughing at my typos and I say damn,Biiiiyotch. I am this way way because of you and your marshmallow hair. She is having her own set of troubles. So anyhoo, this is what we be like after a couple of vodkas... How do you like us now!!!!!!!!!
Marci is drunk.
Sooo drunk.



and
so
is
the
bugger. Nuh uh. I amso sober. I do not drink and I am anice girl who does nottell people to goaway andbeat it because they suck. EAT IT!

Friday night with Marci

Did Buggie erase all that was typed bit ago?If so, it's not my fault, as she has a SPICEbar and not a space bar///so thetypos are not my fault. NO MY FAULT!

all this says Marci

Marci wants to complain

She says that it sucks that the automated person that tells you the call you are trying to make cannot go through is British.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

I had a very nice time tonight. I got a bit of a kick in the pants that it is not too late for me to figure out what I need to do to make myself a happy person. Tonight I listened to a person who had a great career and was unhappy with it and chose to take a chance to do something he loved. Now his company is in six cities and doing really well.
I guess my only problem is that I do not know where to begin, but I am gonna make him let me tag along to a couple of his events. I have the feeling that I will be inspired to do something greater than expense reports and powerpoint presentations before too long.
I want more than this. This life I have carved out for myself is pathetic at best. I do not want to look back at my life and remember only bitching about my circumstances and never doing anything about them.
I am not going to worry about what other people want from me, or want me to do. I always have, and while it has gotten me here, I want more than this. So forgive me if I am all over the place for a while. I want to be proud of something I do.

Thanks, Michael.