Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hooray for Buggywood! Lalalalala

Ah, they are getting sneaky in Hollywood. Tired of listening to Jessica Simpson screech, they told her to rest her voice. We’re just trying to take care of YOU, Jess. Ha! We got her to stop.

John Mayer looks like he’s been left under water for far too long. He’s all bloated and pasty.

What did Fergie do to look so old? If we walked together down the street, people would think she is my momma, but she is younger than me!

Is Heidi Klum on a one woman mission to repopulate the world? Honey, we’ve got enough people! Maybe Angelina can adopt some of Heidi’s kids once she hits the double digits in procreation.

I caught a bit of the Rupert Everett/Madonna film “The Next Best Thing”. Madonna is a terrible actress. My apologies go out to everyone who had to endure my extremely extended devotion to the woman with too many monikers to credit properly. I don’t know how I was so blinded. (But I am still burning up, ‘cause I’m on fire. And I can’t quench my desire.) And hell, if old Madonna plays at a club, you’ll see the Bug thorax begin to flail.

You think Katie Holmes is all, damn?

I wonder if Jessica Biel gets collagen. Her upper lip is full! But if she does, her doctor is good because I don’t see the indents from the needle.

Got hung up on hanging

When I was but a wee little larva someone taught me that if a person strung themselves up with a noose, they "hanged" themselves. I have never forgotten this lesson and it is thus that I cringe when people say that someone "hung" themselves.
Should you hear that someone hung themselves, you could assume that they were hanging by their finger tips, or that they suspended themselves in some manner. Maybe some bully came by and dangled them by their underpants from a hook. Usually, a hung person is still alive. A hung jury is unable to reach a verdict. A hung man is... well, call me. William Hung should NOT call me. Were the pictures properly hung?
If you are going to hang yourself, the proper term is that So-and-so hanged themselves.

Bug A. Bugger
Grammar Police

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Hmph, stupid Blogger.

I had written all about how me, Marci and the Chanuck went to Old Town last night to see the old Wilson Bridge get blown up. I wrote about the pedantic boy/man who stood next to us. (All of it gone. Stupid Blogger. Now I have to write all over again.) I wrote about how people who plan to get certain degrees should not say they are going to be doctoral candidates or lawyers until they are actually IN the program. (Like the guy I met in Colorado who told me he was getting his doctorate and I asked what his thesis topic was, and he told me he hadn't decided yet. He was going to go ahead and get his Associates degree first. I thought that was probably a good idea.) The man/boy of last night said he was going to be a lawyer. But he just started his first semester at working on his undergrad. Um, you've gots a ways to go before you can lay claim to a future law degree, sweet friend. (Don't get me wrong, I am all for dreaming and planning out a future. Just have the future in sight before you announce it to me, please.)
So, we stood in the blasted and strange heat of midnight in August until finally at midnight:30 we heard kapow kapow powpowpow! Either someone got shot, or that was what we came for. We saw nothing! Anticlimactic to say the least. We went and consoled ourselves with a Hefeweizen at Clydes.

This morning I got up to go to traffic court for driving badly. Boy, the courthouse is hard to find. I left at 8:15 and arrived at 9:15 and it is only 16 miles away. Tricky. The first person I run into? My first grown up boyfriend whom I have not seen in 10 years. He is a detective now. Hmm. We talked for a second, but he had some work to do, so off he went with promises to come back. I had to sit in a courtroom, and you know how long these things take, so I figured I'd see him during the course of my courtroom detention. At 9:30 the court was called to session.
Bug Ah Bugger?
Yes, your honor?
You are free to go.
Wee hoooooo, and off I went. I sat in the hall for a couple of minutes, but ex did not reappear. I felt stupid sitting there and had to get to work, so I left. But I would have loved to talk to him. I think that man would have married me. (I don't think I would have married him, though.) It throws me for a loop, running into him. I wonder how I would react to seeing the rest of the cast and crew that has been my dating life. I really don't ever see any of them, except maybe one, regularly. It's curious the different paths a life can take. I wonder where I would be had I chosen any of them fellers to be my permanent man. I don't regret any of my choices though. They all made me into what I am today. (Be that what it may.)