Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hit me baby one more time

I watched Britney on Dateline with Matt Lauer who is starting to look a bit like a concentration camp survivor. (That reflection has nothing to do with my current class on the Holocaust...) His hair is so thin and his face gaunt. He was sporting loafers and no socks. Bleh.
Britney.. Oh where to start. Used to be so hot for her in a envious sort of way. Now? Does she own a hair brush? Her makeup was hideous. The blush looked like the Covergirl cheekers that we all wore at age 13. She had some freaky eyelash clumping going on with her right eye and all I could do was focus on that and wonder where the hell her stylist was, or maybe the stylist was all "You're country!" And laughing.
Look, I don't care about the whole KFed thing. But if you request an interview. Dress for it. She is something like 6 months pregnant. She wore a short skirt, a sheer shirt with decolletage that you could put a six-pack of longneck Bud bottles into. On that note, her boobers are HUGE! Maybe she desired to show them?!? But her bellybutton was peering out through the shirt and when she shifted her legs, the shortness of her skirt offered to those who wanted to see, a view of what my co-worker refers to as the promised land.
Matt Lauer asked her how far along she was and she said "I don't know". Er? How do you not know?
I love gum more than anything. Especially sugar-free bubblegum. But I would not be smackin' it during an interview. She seemed pretty bright at times, and other time dim as the lightbulb that burned out in my hallway. Bizarre.

Things I learned from Britney's Dateline interview.
  • Chewing gum really does look gross. I should stop chewing it at work.
  • If you wear a short skirt, aim the crotch away from the camera.
  • I really should take the extra minute to brush my hair.
  • Tabloids are stupid. Can't we go back to when the studios owned the stars and they were bitter because they could not live their own lives and thus became psychotic like Ava Gardner and Howard Hughes.
  • Damn, my hotness might be fleeting like Britney's!

I still sing along with all of Britney's first two cd's. I still think she was HOT. I think her new persona is a bloody shame.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Today in 1752

Ben Franklin proved that lightning is electricity. We all know the kite and the key thing and how Ben Franklin thought turkeys were cool. Did you know he had gout and was carried around town on some sort of settee? That would be nice; the carrying, not the gout.

Of course we can all remember trips to Ben Franklin, the crafts store. At least I can. My mom was very handy and made all my costumes and such. My cousin and I, at the ripe age of 10 or so, went to Ben Franklin's and bought an assortment of puffballs, glued eyes on them and created long stories about these puffball families. Such fun. (I was a creative little Bugger.) The random lone puffball with maybe a lone dangling eye makes an appearance every now and then at my mom's house. Have no idea where they hide or why they come out, but there they are. (Gone. That's for you, Marci and Jen.)

Ben Franklin was well known for so many things like bifocals, the printing press, and daylight savings time, but did you know that he created the catheter, too? (Hope that you never need one.- especially the internal kind...)

I love him most for the fact that he said "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Here are some other things he said.

I found this quote appropo for those of us in the blogging profession... er... field.

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worthy reading,or do things worth the writing. - Ben Franklin.

This quote is so fitting for the previous three posts. ( Ben Franklin was a smart man.)
One good Husband is worth two good Wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued. - Ben Franklin

An idea to help the next generation

As I have been on a writing frenzy about that damn movie, I figured that I would offer up what I think is sage advice...
The movie made me so mad because these two adults are communicating on completely different planes. It made me think about my ex and how we would argue, and I realized that males and females have no concept of how to communicate with one another. In addition to sex ed in school, they should teach a male-female communication class. How much better we would be if we actually understood the whys and hows of reactions and such.
It irritates me how things are misconstrued and then pride is involved and no one ever wants to take the lead and really try to understand what the other person is saying. You know what bugs me the most? Is when people are discussing, but all they do is talk over the other. Don't talk to me if you are just going to drown me out with your crap. I'm just sayin'.
Maybe if we were taught from a young age that men and women are very different, we would actually be able to figure it out.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The other side of The Break Up

I also realize that we kind of make our own beds, as women, by doing so much for our men. Like when Brooke was crying on the bed and she said, "I did everything for you. I even laid out your clothes for you." I was thinking, geez, what if he didn't want you to lay out his clothes for him. I think we do so much and at some point realize that there is no return from him for it. We get mad. Poor guy doesn't know what happened as all this time you did everything for him and were okay with everything and then suddenly you're not. He is just supposed to change.
I get that we are to blame for parts of it, but DAMN! Can't you guys break through your comfort threshhold and show us (above and beyond your normal actions) that you care?

And stop trying to get away with everything. It is fucking annoying.

The Break Up

I saw The Break Up last night. OOh, that movie made me mad. Why is it that guys never address the issue? Male pride gets bruised and they just walk away. Have we, as women, trained them to not have to do anything to remedy the arguments? Aren't men fixers? Shouldn't they say, hey, you are mad at me, let me fix that? Instead they just lay about, hurt and angry, waiting for (what the woman will eventually do anyway) her to do something to get them back together. Why can't the man do that, take the first step? Why is it always up to the woman?
In the meantime, guys do some of the most stupid shit on the planet to demonstrate their unhappiness instead of saying they are sorry, or attempting to do something good. Then when there finally is some sort of reconcilliation, it is too late.
Women have an immense capacity to look past stupid behavior from the men they love. But if we become resentful due to lack of any sort of return, we are suddenly aware of all the stupid behavior, and lose the tolerance. Then the man finally recognizes what he has lost and wants it back.. But we can only see the childish, stupid side anymore. It's over.
And what is it with men wanting everything, and not giving their all to anything? Gah! I am never dating again.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Today in History

Boy, a lot happened on June 12 throughout history!

  • Today in 1929, Anne Frank was born. You all might remember her as the spirited child whose diary allowed us a peek into the world of a Jewish family in hiding during WWII. Her life ended in Bergen-Belsen, not in a gas chamber, but rather of Typhus. She was 15.
  • 1994 brought about the murders of Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman. And, yeah, I totally think OJ Simpson did it. And did you hear that he is now a sex addict? Man, why didn't I meet him when I lived in LA?
  • Gregory Peck died in 2003. I am sure he is rolling around in his grave due to the remake of the Omen, which featured him as the only watchable part in the original.
  • South Africa sentenced Nelson Mandela to life in prison back in 1964. He was released in 1990, making South Africa's sentence of "life" approximately double that of the American life sentence. (Though, I think when they said life, they meant his life.)
  • In 1978, David Berkowitz, "The Son of Sam", was sentenced to 365 years for shooting lovers who were inappropriately making out in cars in NYC. But seriously, get a room, people.
  • Baseball fans in 1981 were screwed out of 49 days of baseball due to a strike for free-agent compensation, which I believe was the beginning of insane baseballer salaries.
  • Reagan challenges Gorbachev with "General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" My mom has a piece of the wall in her upstairs bathroom. And should you be interested in seeing a huge slab of the wall, get yourself over to the Ronald Reagan building in DC on 14th street. I never understood why they'd have a slab of the Berlin Wall in there, until I wrote this little blurb. (Hey, I never said I was smart!)

Most importantly, today is Clussy's birthday! In honor of our South American Princess, we shall celebrate:

  • Clussy shares a birthday with fellow South American hottie, Brazillian model Adrianna Lima.
  • Today in Brazil, they celebrate Dia dos Namorados which is Lover's Day; similar to St. Valentine's.

Happy Birthday Clussy! This one is for you.


Yes, we are up to the third letter in my alphabet series.
X is to represent the greatest baddddd movie in the world, xXx.
Marci and I decided to see this Vin Diesel vehicle at Springfield Mall wayyy back in 2002. Springfield Mall has many a story for me, but this is not the time. The time is for xXx! Both Marci and I were having those "the world is crumbling around my ears" kinds of weeks and needed to watch some mindless explosions. Little did we know what we were in for.
I have to believe that this screenplay was written by two fourteen year old boys. First off, the lead character is Xander Cage. C'mon! That could not be an anymore super hero-ey and fan-frickin-tastic name. If I was 14, that is the name I would give myself. (I won't tell you my super secret spy name, nor Marci's, cause then we have to chase you down the mountain with a huge avalanche coming after you and us shouting "Catch 'em quick! Kill 'em slow." - like in xXx.) Oh this movie, with the tattoos, and the leather and the Russian bad guys... Seriously, do we still consider Russians to be bad guys in 2002? Maybe they were Czech? Nope, I looked on IMDB and they said Russian crime ring.
Xander Cage: "I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in." That sounds to me like dumbass 14 year old thinking.
Gibbons: "The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons." COME ON! That is just blatant!
Yorgi: "Now that business is over... we party..." Kolya: "Bitches, come!" This might just be my favorite. Replace Yorgi with Marci, and Kolya with Buggie and that is the average conversation on weekends for us.
But the all-time best sequence is between the Russain guards. Ivan 1 says "How's life" and Ivan 2, bored, says "Life is shit." and Ivan 1 returns with "What can you do?" Awesome dialogue. Even more impressive is that this exchange is in Russian and we read the subtitles and enjoy the body language. Marci and I related hard to this exchange. But the movie perked us up and so if you feel like life is shit, then I will tell you what to do... Watch xXx!!!