The world is coming to an end.

First of all, I am writing on my blog. Does it make you happy, Rich? I think I am bored with my class being done and feel compelled to write stuff. (Be glad it is not about the Holocaust.)
I think reading leaving a copy of the Victory Secrets of Attila the Hun and The Art of War on my desk made my bosses think I was preparing for war. (This is a pile of hooey. I have so much junk on my desk that if they could find anything, I am sure those books are the last things they'd be looking at.) After several months of so much stress at work, I went to my new boss and asked him to be nicer to me. I told him I respond much better to someone expecting a ton from me than someone that talks down to me and expects me to overcome it. I don't know how you all are, but it just breaks me down and makes me very passive aggressive. We talked for a long time and he actually said a bunch of really great things and gave me good advice. In the days after our talk, he has followed through. Unbelievable. Then I got an awesome review. It was wayyyy better than I expected. I had gone in prepared to stand my ground and fight for every inch and I did not have to. THEN my boss gave me a birthday gift. In five years, I have never received a gift. I am floored. I have not opened it yet, but I can't wait.

I am going on this Fourth of July thing and I am being set up on a date... I am nervous, but it should be fun. Problem is that we will be on a boat, so if it sucks I may have to jump off. Hope my fat will help me to float.

Exposed by my movie choice.

I had intentions of a nice quiet night at home with a good book. I figured I would get started on finishing Madame Bovary, by Gustav Flaubert. Alas, was not feeling it. Thought then that perhaps my time would be better spent watching the History Channel, but that too did not catch my attention. An attempt at watching In Cold Blood failed as well and then my true spirit revealed itself. I watched The Adventures Milo and Otis. I am five years old.

I did learn that the movie was produced by Japanese people and am surprised that the kitty and the puppy were not huge and stepping on people while they waged war with one another.

Four by four.

1. Four jobs I have had in my life:
   
   1. Photo lab register person – One time, people had photos of a birth. Nasty. Do that with a Polaroid. (Or now you could go digital.) AW! With the advent of the digital camera, I may soon be able to say that I have had a job that no longer exists!
   2. Cage cleaner at a pet store - (2x) I quit the one store because they were highly inhumane to the little puppies. But I loved cleaning cages so much that I found the same job at another store.
   3. Waitress/Bartender – All across America. Geez. I waited on Mario Lopez once and Kristy McNichol. Oh, and Linda Hamilton came into the restaurant and ate pasta with red sauce and looked miserable about it. However, working at Bennigan’s gave me the greatest gifts. Her, her and her.
   4. Clothing store – My biggest pet peeve was when I had to dust the rounders. Make me clean out the (what could be very disgusting, what with used diapers and assorted other nasty human filth) dressing rooms, or fold all the tables. But I hated to dust! AND I hated to refold tables that were already folded. Busy work is stupid. However, I do have a funny anecdote about a day at work. We were doing inventory and one of the managers remarked to another manager about my friend Dawn, “Look how bowlegged she is.” Then, in what I have to assume was a completely separate thought “Hey, Dawn! You have a boyfriend?”
   
   Four movies I would watch over and over (or have watched over and over):
   
   1. Tank Girl - “It’s been swell, but the swelling’s gone down now.”
   2. Notting Hill – Even with the whole monologue about “Being a girl, in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” That was lame, but I love that movie.
   3. The Sound of Music- (Or as Christopher Plummer called it “The Sound of Mucus” Ha!) Beyond my adoration for Julie Andrews, I have other reasons for loving that movie. “Happy oh lay, lady oh lady di oh, oh lady oh odelay ee oo.”
   4. The Fifth Element – Bruce Willis. I really used to love him. But it's Milla Jovovich who sells me here. I think her portrayal of Leeloo is brilliant. Especially near the end when she is watching the encyclopedia movies in fast forward and gets to W for war. Her reactions are remarkable. “Multi-pass.”
   
   
   Four TV shows I Love (or have loved):
   
   1. Gilmore Girls - Pretty, fast talking smarty-pantses. I can relate. (Tee-hee)
   2. Medium – I like this show a lot. I feel like it is the best representation of a marriage and the relationship between a man and woman on television.
   3. er – First couple of seasons. Never ended an episode without bawling about something. I don’t know what happened, but while it is still good, it is not as good as it used to be. I will bunch Grey’s Anatomy in here. I like that show, but it is teetering with me right now. I hate the whole premise of Dr. McCheaty and Meredith McSlutty-Insecure. (Yeah, her name is hyphenated.)
   4. Veronica Mars – She is adorable, smart and wise-cracky. Hmm, I see a theme here. I like pretty, smart and snarky people.
   
   Four places I have been on vacation:
   
   1. Bulgaria. Swam around in the Black Sea. Wonder if that will ever come to bite me in the arse. (Strange things afoot in the Black Sea, they say.)
   2. Prague- Cold. Beer. Yum. (Okay, I really got way more out of that trip than just cold beer.
   3. I’ve been to Canada, eh?
   4. To almost every state in the 48. But I need to go back.
   
   
   Four of my favorite foods:
   
   1. Berries. Because I’m a bug!
   2. Fudgesicles, but only Giant brand, which they don’t have anymore!
   3. Anything my mom or sister will cook for me.
   4. I like food I have to work at to eat. Examples, artichokes and things with layers that I can eat layer by layer. I like to complicate the eating process. Feed me Raclette or fondue and you will have a happy little bug.
   
   
   
   Four things that irk my nerves
   1.People who are super ueber-political. Unless they are actually making a change in the world. It seems to me that political types are only into it for the power and prestige it represents and don't really do anything to make the world a better place.
2. When people call in to radio stations and then say "Is it me?". That's just stupid and it needs to stop right now.
3. Bad grammar. I absolutely cringe when people say "Where you at?" And to promote it with a commercial. Are we trying to dumb down America.
4. Movie and television studios thinking Americans are dumb. Maybe we are, but if you hold us to a higher standard, we'll do a much better job of living up to than if you continually dumb everything down. Don't explain what exsanguination is. Make the bastard go look it up!

The Tao of Bug

A girl who actively works to steal another girl's boyfriend shouldn't trust that man to love her.

Work Survival

On my reading list:

Secrets of Attila the Hun
The Art of War

I figure I need to get some strategies to survive in my workplace.

Queen's English is every language...

I am watching The Pianist and it dawned on me that I understand Polish! Okay, maybe not, but why is it that any film that takes place in a different land where it is understood that they speak a different language, the actors speak with a British accent? They did it in the Sound of Music, the Pianist.. etc..
Hey Jen, when you were speaking "French" to the guy in Quebec, you should have used a British accent, not a French one. He probably would have understood you then.

Hit me baby one more time

I watched Britney on Dateline with Matt Lauer who is starting to look a bit like a concentration camp survivor. (That reflection has nothing to do with my current class on the Holocaust...) His hair is so thin and his face gaunt. He was sporting loafers and no socks. Bleh.
Britney.. Oh where to start. Used to be so hot for her in a envious sort of way. Now? Does she own a hair brush? Her makeup was hideous. The blush looked like the Covergirl cheekers that we all wore at age 13. She had some freaky eyelash clumping going on with her right eye and all I could do was focus on that and wonder where the hell her stylist was, or maybe the stylist was all "You're country!" And laughing.
Look, I don't care about the whole KFed thing. But if you request an interview. Dress for it. She is something like 6 months pregnant. She wore a short skirt, a sheer shirt with decolletage that you could put a six-pack of longneck Bud bottles into. On that note, her boobers are HUGE! Maybe she desired to show them?!? But her bellybutton was peering out through the shirt and when she shifted her legs, the shortness of her skirt offered to those who wanted to see, a view of what my co-worker refers to as the promised land.
Matt Lauer asked her how far along she was and she said "I don't know". Er? How do you not know?
I love gum more than anything. Especially sugar-free bubblegum. But I would not be smackin' it during an interview. She seemed pretty bright at times, and other time dim as the lightbulb that burned out in my hallway. Bizarre.

Things I learned from Britney's Dateline interview.

• Chewing gum really does look gross. I should stop chewing it at work.
• If you wear a short skirt, aim the crotch away from the camera.
• I really should take the extra minute to brush my hair.
• Tabloids are stupid. Can't we go back to when the studios owned the stars and they were bitter because they could not live their own lives and thus became psychotic like Ava Gardner and Howard Hughes.
• Damn, my hotness might be fleeting like Britney's!

I still sing along with all of Britney's first two cd's. I still think she was HOT. I think her new persona is a bloody shame.

Today in 1752

Ben Franklin proved that lightning is electricity. We all know the kite and the key thing and how Ben Franklin thought turkeys were cool. Did you know he had gout and was carried around town on some sort of settee? That would be nice; the carrying, not the gout.

Of course we can all remember trips to Ben Franklin, the crafts store. At least I can. My mom was very handy and made all my costumes and such. My cousin and I, at the ripe age of 10 or so, went to Ben Franklin's and bought an assortment of puffballs, glued eyes on them and created long stories about these puffball families. Such fun. (I was a creative little Bugger.) The random lone puffball with maybe a lone dangling eye makes an appearance every now and then at my mom's house. Have no idea where they hide or why they come out, but there they are. (Gone. That's for you, Marci and Jen.)

Ben Franklin was well known for so many things like bifocals, the printing press, and daylight savings time, but did you know that he created the catheter, too? (Hope that you never need one.- especially the internal kind...)

I love him most for the fact that he said "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Here are some other things he said.

I found this quote appropo for those of us in the blogging profession... er... field.

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worthy reading,or do things worth the writing. - Ben Franklin.

This quote is so fitting for the previous three posts. ( Ben Franklin was a smart man.)
One good Husband is worth two good Wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued. - Ben Franklin

An idea to help the next generation

As I have been on a writing frenzy about that damn movie, I figured that I would offer up what I think is sage advice...
The movie made me so mad because these two adults are communicating on completely different planes. It made me think about my ex and how we would argue, and I realized that males and females have no concept of how to communicate with one another. In addition to sex ed in school, they should teach a male-female communication class. How much better we would be if we actually understood the whys and hows of reactions and such.
It irritates me how things are misconstrued and then pride is involved and no one ever wants to take the lead and really try to understand what the other person is saying. You know what bugs me the most? Is when people are discussing, but all they do is talk over the other. Don't talk to me if you are just going to drown me out with your crap. I'm just sayin'.
Maybe if we were taught from a young age that men and women are very different, we would actually be able to figure it out.

The other side of The Break Up

I also realize that we kind of make our own beds, as women, by doing so much for our men. Like when Brooke was crying on the bed and she said, "I did everything for you. I even laid out your clothes for you." I was thinking, geez, what if he didn't want you to lay out his clothes for him. I think we do so much and at some point realize that there is no return from him for it. We get mad. Poor guy doesn't know what happened as all this time you did everything for him and were okay with everything and then suddenly you're not. He is just supposed to change.
I get that we are to blame for parts of it, but DAMN! Can't you guys break through your comfort threshhold and show us (above and beyond your normal actions) that you care?

And stop trying to get away with everything. It is fucking annoying.

The Break Up

I saw The Break Up last night. OOh, that movie made me mad. Why is it that guys never address the issue? Male pride gets bruised and they just walk away. Have we, as women, trained them to not have to do anything to remedy the arguments? Aren't men fixers? Shouldn't they say, hey, you are mad at me, let me fix that? Instead they just lay about, hurt and angry, waiting for (what the woman will eventually do anyway) her to do something to get them back together. Why can't the man do that, take the first step? Why is it always up to the woman?
In the meantime, guys do some of the most stupid shit on the planet to demonstrate their unhappiness instead of saying they are sorry, or attempting to do something good. Then when there finally is some sort of reconcilliation, it is too late.
Women have an immense capacity to look past stupid behavior from the men they love. But if we become resentful due to lack of any sort of return, we are suddenly aware of all the stupid behavior, and lose the tolerance. Then the man finally recognizes what he has lost and wants it back.. But we can only see the childish, stupid side anymore. It's over.
And what is it with men wanting everything, and not giving their all to anything? Gah! I am never dating again.

Today in History

Boy, a lot happened on June 12 throughout history!

• Today in 1929, Anne Frank was born. You all might remember her as the spirited child whose diary allowed us a peek into the world of a Jewish family in hiding during WWII. Her life ended in Bergen-Belsen, not in a gas chamber, but rather of Typhus. She was 15.
• 1994 brought about the murders of Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman. And, yeah, I totally think OJ Simpson did it. And did you hear that he is now a sex addict? Man, why didn't I meet him when I lived in LA?
• Gregory Peck died in 2003. I am sure he is rolling around in his grave due to the remake of the Omen, which featured him as the only watchable part in the original.
• South Africa sentenced Nelson Mandela to life in prison back in 1964. He was released in 1990, making South Africa's sentence of "life" approximately double that of the American life sentence. (Though, I think when they said life, they meant his life.)
• In 1978, David Berkowitz, "The Son of Sam", was sentenced to 365 years for shooting lovers who were inappropriately making out in cars in NYC. But seriously, get a room, people.
• Baseball fans in 1981 were screwed out of 49 days of baseball due to a strike for free-agent compensation, which I believe was the beginning of insane baseballer salaries.
• Reagan challenges Gorbachev with "General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" My mom has a piece of the wall in her upstairs bathroom. And should you be interested in seeing a huge slab of the wall, get yourself over to the Ronald Reagan building in DC on 14th street. I never understood why they'd have a slab of the Berlin Wall in there, until I wrote this little blurb. (Hey, I never said I was smart!)

Most importantly, today is Clussy's birthday! In honor of our South American Princess, we shall celebrate:

• Clussy shares a birthday with fellow South American hottie, Brazillian model Adrianna Lima.
• Today in Brazil, they celebrate Dia dos Namorados which is Lover's Day; similar to St. Valentine's.

Happy Birthday Clussy! This one is for you.

xXx

Yes, we are up to the third letter in my alphabet series.
X is to represent the greatest baddddd movie in the world, xXx.
Marci and I decided to see this Vin Diesel vehicle at Springfield Mall wayyy back in 2002. Springfield Mall has many a story for me, but this is not the time. The time is for xXx! Both Marci and I were having those "the world is crumbling around my ears" kinds of weeks and needed to watch some mindless explosions. Little did we know what we were in for.
I have to believe that this screenplay was written by two fourteen year old boys. First off, the lead character is Xander Cage. C'mon! That could not be an anymore super hero-ey and fan-frickin-tastic name. If I was 14, that is the name I would give myself. (I won't tell you my super secret spy name, nor Marci's, cause then we have to chase you down the mountain with a huge avalanche coming after you and us shouting "Catch 'em quick! Kill 'em slow." - like in xXx.) Oh this movie, with the tattoos, and the leather and the Russian bad guys... Seriously, do we still consider Russians to be bad guys in 2002? Maybe they were Czech? Nope, I looked on IMDB and they said Russian crime ring.
Xander Cage: "I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in." That sounds to me like dumbass 14 year old thinking.
Gibbons: "The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons." COME ON! That is just blatant!
Yorgi: "Now that business is over... we party..." Kolya: "Bitches, come!" This might just be my favorite. Replace Yorgi with Marci, and Kolya with Buggie and that is the average conversation on weekends for us.
But the all-time best sequence is between the Russain guards. Ivan 1 says "How's life" and Ivan 2, bored, says "Life is shit." and Ivan 1 returns with "What can you do?" Awesome dialogue. Even more impressive is that this exchange is in Russian and we read the subtitles and enjoy the body language. Marci and I related hard to this exchange. But the movie perked us up and so if you feel like life is shit, then I will tell you what to do... Watch xXx!!!

Something weird that makes me happy

I hate toll roads so much, but I love to pay for the guy behind me. I just love to imagine how they react. I know it's random. I never get to see their reaction. But it still pleases me.

06-06-06

So I thought today would be a good day to discuss my favorite movies involving Satan.

1. The Exorcist. This movie freaked me out as a kid and continues to freak me out now. They get into your head and mess with you the entire time. While it has its gross moments, like the pea soup vomiting and the demon, who is in a child, telling the mother these horrible sexual things, it is not just a gross-out film. I hate those. This got into my head and possibly made me the way I am today... twisted, neurotic, crazy... I had to stop the film on the demon face because it scared me so much, I needed to know how they did the makeup so I could be reassured that demon was not real. The Exorcist is the only good movie of this genre. The rest... meh!
2. The Omen. While I would have liked to have played Damien in this movie, the movie is kind of dumb and pointless. And they remade it? Practically just like the original? Without Gregory Peck? Pheh.
3. Rosemary's Baby. All I can say is picture this: Scene: party. Older couples in 60's swag. Older woman raises her glass in a toast to Rosemary's baby. "Hail Satan". Picture me, Marci, Clussy and Harms bursting into giggles.
4. 8 mm. This had to be a movie about Satan or by Satan or for Satan or all the actors sold to Satan, or filmed in Hell or something, because this movie SUCKED.

My horoscope today

For Tuesday, June 6 -
Your work has been making a steady progression, and you will finally start to sense all the possibilities. This could take your farther than you ever dreamed! A new person's avid interest in what you're doing is an encouraging sign. Try not to let flattery take all your attention right now, but be openly grateful when someone gives you a word of support. It feels good to be recognized -- and valued -- for who you are. Get used to it. This is merely a taste of what's coming.

YEAH! Damn Straight. Woooooooooooooooooooo

Y (or Why)

You.
I know who a bunch of you are, but I wonder about the rest of you. Who are you, what do you do? What makes you happy and sad and mad?
I wonder why you read my blog. I wonder what kind of person you think I am. Do I represent myself in my writing, or just a part of me? Maybe I write so that you get no insight into who I am.
Velvet's comment yesterday surprised me and made me think. Do I come across as tough? Do I do that on purpose? Am I tough? Uh.. I dunno. I guess being tough is easier than letting people in, but if I let you in, then I have a responsibility towards you. That's scary to me.
Why do you read Ah Bugger? Who do you think I am? What would you like to know about me? I would like to know everything about you.
I like to write for you. Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday, Christoph

Today is my brother's 44th birthday. That would make him 11 years older than me. But he had to go when he was 37, and I am now 32. I am not quite ready to catch up with him yet.

When I was teeny, he would take me everywhere with him. I remember being in Frankfurt on the handlebars of his bike as he pedaled through the neighborhood. He even took me rollerskating with him and his friends, though he had pom-poms on his skates, and I didn't.

As we got older, we became even better friends. He had the rockin' pad and allowed me to bring all my pals over for a party. He took me hang-gliding. Well, he glided and I crashed. But it was fun.

We looked alike. I don't look like anyone else in my family.

I am having the hardest time remembering him. Certain smells, or lights hit me and and I am thrown back into a time where he was, but only so very briefly.

Happy Birthday, Christoph! You better be partying up hard with a ton of babes and all that.

Z

As I would rather write nonsense than do my homework, and there is absolutely nothing interesting going on in my life, I have come up with some writing exercises for myself. Hence the "Today in History" and now this! I am going to try to work my way through the alphabet. Today we start with "Z" and work our way up to "A". The reasoning behind this is that the way this blog is set up, tomorrow's blog will be over today's. A natural progression of A to Z, if you will.
Z. Mostly we say Z is for Zebra. I like to think of the Z that Zorro slashes through the air, especially when he cut off Catherine Zeta Jone's dress. Well, let me clarify that her dress coming off was not the highlight for me, but rather the exquisite stroke of the epee. Dirrty.

Z is a most troubling letter for the American typing away on a German keyboard for it resides where the Y resides on ours, and vice versa. It is quite easy to find yourself typing "Zou look lovelz like a yebra todaz." (Which would lead us into the next discusssion of why anyone would compare someone to a zebra. Unless of course he/she is a referee, and then duh!)

Z makes me envision all the zzzzzzz's this entry is making ya'll have.