Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Herrn "Doktor"

Apparently there is a law in Germany that prohibits American Ph.D’s to be be called “Doctor” in Germany. In order to be called Doctor, you must have received your education in an EU accredited university. Okay, this is an antiquated law, stemming from the 1930’s, a time in which Germany was presenting itself as the number one place in the world and therefore no one else is as educated and great as Germans.

In this article in the Washington Post today, Gary Smith, the director of Berlin’s American Academy, has answered to Dr. Smith for the twenty years he’s been in Germany. He understands that he can file papers to legally use this title, but hasn’t concerned himself with the process. He says, “It wasn't worth the trouble of doing anything about it… It's really an absurd situation in a globalized world." Therein lies my issue with “Dr.” Smith.

It’s their law. It can be antiquated and absurd and unnecessary. It can be whatever the Germans want it to be. It’s their law. It is not harmful to anyone. It is simply the way they want it. Maybe it should be modified for the times, but it hasn’t been. Deal with it. If you don’t like their laws, get the hell out of their country. I am so annoyed with this guy who is above their rules.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Wine and Wii

(B) JT is here to wine and Wii with me. (J) I am going to kick Bug's ass in bowling (I almost wrote "blowing", which is a completely different game). Wii is on. (B)We are playing Rayman. JT Is gonna kick me arse. Again. (J) Multi-players = multi-pass? We cannot even figure out how to get two people to play the game. How can one possibly kick one's arse in this condition? Bex -- I just hope I get to the dance club portion.

(B) Kicked her patootie. (FINALLY!) That was fun. Esp. the stage part where we danced. We danced like there is no tomorrow. (J) She did! Kicked it and kicked it hard. Of course, let's not forget that I came from a company meeting where they served wine. Not that I'm saying that influened the game. Not at all. (B) OHMYGOD! She thinks she is soooo much better than me at Wii But only Bowling. Just bowling. (Of course it is all we play, soo...) (J) So, let's bowl, baby! No! No bowling! Psyched me out! Ruse! Instead, Playground dodgeball. Perhaps not surprisingly, Wii dodgeball is just like my real life grade school dodgeball experience, where I am the last person to understand the rules and the last person picked. But, all is redeemed when we play tetherball and the lonely, fat kid with the cheap gym shorts wins the respect of her peers by whipping the virtual tether ball around Bug's tiny butt.

(B)OKay, I can't write fiction, so lemme tell it how it really is. My butt is not teeny. I need to attempt to beat her ass at Tetherball. I did, but then she kicked mine in wall ball. Then she tripped over the rug, in a fit of joy, to pour me more wine out of the ginormous bottle that just happened to be open. (J) Just happened to be, my wall ball bruised butt . That was grand fun. Why do I feel too old for Wii? Why do I feel as if I played against a 17 year-old I would be woefully out of touch with the lingo? Like when I asked Dave's and (by default) my nieces' whether or not they like (phoentic pronounciation) AH-vril Lahveen? And they said, "um, it's Avril." And I felt super uncool. (B) Surprisingly, for such a cool chick, JT has a repetoire of such stories. But I prefer a more slapstick approach, hence the luge down my front steps. (J) Which resulted in some serious pay the piper (and the piper is the chiropractor). (B) but that got me out of work an hour early today, so... is it ALL bad? (J) GAH! How sad that an hour free from work could translate to literally back-breaking tasks. (B) For real. What will I do next? Fall from a tree? Fall off a ladder? Anything to get out of an hour of work? I did work 8 hours today, you know. Just had to be said...(J) Seriously...run in front of a bus? Do a show with Siegfried and Roy? The possibilities are endless. (B) Well, I will start contemplating them as the one thing that keeps me generally occupied is coming to screeching halt in less than two months!

(J) You better be going to Georgetown or I will kick your skinny ass! (B) Again, we have gone over this.. Ass not skinny. Maybe after our bike ride this weekend? Thank goodness for my padded seat (and not just the one on my bike). I have yet to hear back from Georgetown. What if they are just waiting to taunt me a second time? And then I will have to ... (J) Like I just taunted you whilst writing this last leg? Phew. How did G-town taunt you a first time? Did they say: "oh, you non-hoya loving devil?" Why do I hear crazy paw steps up above? (B) Cause you crazy! Or it is my upstairs neighbor's cats and dog. Her dog luuvvvs ME!. It makes me so happy. And she is sooo soft. What were we talking about?

(J) The animals are soft or the neighbor? (B) You know I have never petted my neighbor. Any of them. I dunno if she is soft. I could ask her next time I see her. I can't imagine her thinking that it's weird. (J) Or inappropriate in any way. (B) Have to interject. That comment made me choke on my wine. (J) Like that's unusual. (B) Point well taken JT. Point well taken. (Did I mention she tripped over the rug?) (J) I love the double saying, like in "Babe:" "That'll do, Pig. That'll do."

(B) My sister said that to a friend once who did not take too kindly to it. (J) Your sister called a friend a pig? (B) She told a friend "That'll do, Pig. That'll do." Yes. I guess she did. But I would not argue with my sister. She is freakishly strong. For reals. (J) I've wrestled Kirsten. It's true. She pinned me in a double nelson and I screamed Uncle for days. (B) You have an Uncle named For Days? I thought I had relatives with weird names. I had a friend named Dawn Nelson. I know she was not a twin. But she was pretty. She should have a twin and then they could pin people. (J) Do you think the band Nelson would approve? I can't live without your love, Bug. (B) I know JT. I know.

Marci should like me better now.




You Are a Banana



You are mellow, easy going, and a total softie on the inside.

People find it really easy to get along with you. You suit most tastes.



And while you're very sweet, you're not boring or ordinary.

You have an attraction to the exotic, and you could show up anywhere... doing almost anything!



You are spirited, energetic, and a total kick to be around.

You're also quite funny. Your sense of humor is on the goofy side, and it fits you well.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Results of final 12 on AI

Jim Carrey in elephant costume is almost as awkward as the final 12's choreography (or as awkward as my difficulties in spelling awkward just now...). Oh no. Sanjaya and his sister/lover are there. Bad omen. Someone crappy is going to stay.

Carly has a snaggletooth. She may have a new nickname.

Syesha is bottom three? They are making them sing before they are booted now? I guess the tearfest of Alaina Whitaker was too much for Fox?

Ugh, they just rapped "The Distance" by Cake. I heard on the radio that song was one of the ones David Hernandez stripped to.

Kristy Lee Cook is bottom three. Called her to be in the bottom (in my shot-gun effect method). I still don't know how many people are going home. I suppose I do not pay enough attention.

I do not approve of the call-ins. This is stupid. But they just got up close on Simon's head. Does he have a middle part? He has the weirdest hair in Hollywood. Well, after David Cook. Has anyone else noticed that Simon seems to be going deaf? Anytime someone on stage says something, he leans to Paula and says "what did he says?".

Is Katharine McPhee mad that she is not anywhere near as successful as Carrie or Kelly? I bet if her name was Kathy, she would be. Kelly...Carrie...Kathy... Pattern, anyone?

Ramiele looks like a wee little bumblebee.

Oh check it out. He was in my bottom two! Yay. Sorry. By David. No more stripper jokes. Be sure to wipe the pole down before you go.

AI Final 12- these things get longer and longer...

Ryan is working the baby faux hawk. It does not look bad, but I don’t find him attractive. Does anyone? He strikes me as a bit asexual. He is a skinny tie aficionado. I am not. That suit is tight, and by tight I mean snug. Was he sewn into it, ala Halle Berry into her catsuit, prior to the show?

Simon is wearing a white!?! Button-down shirt…? It looks like pjs. Yes. I still like it. I like him. I need help. So they are going to brutalize Beatles songs. Swell. Is Paul McCartney still alive? He annoys me. Though I saw this Stella McCartney bag that was awesome and if being nice to her dad would get me that bag… I am willing to sell out.

Syesha Mercado: I really like her, and she sings this okay, but she hits some notes weirdly. I wonder if they had adjusted the song a bit, those notes would not have been as harsh to me. She is so freakin’ cute though she looked like she was heading to the gym.

Randy thinks every song starts off rough and then it gets to be all right for him, it’s all right.

Jacuzzi: I have that sweater vest! Mine is dark gray. We could be twins!! Adorable the way he talks about his mom. Banjo. Heh… Chikezie is attempting to keep the beat by slapping his knee. But he is so off. Kind of like these girls that were attempting to clap along at a Great!Big!Sea! concert. Sad, really. He has a super cheesy quality about him (can’t get the Carlton Banks comparison out of my head). It was energetic and interesting. He sang well, but it was still cheesy.

Ramiele Malubay: That was a weird angle to start on with us staring down at her. I mean, she is short, maybe she wants America to look at her on TV the way the rest of the world sees her in person. She is consistently flat on some notes. She has a better voice than what she gives us here. I’m bored. I feel like I am suffering through someone’s kid performing for us after a dinner party. She’s going home. I hate it when Simon says exactly what I just wrote. It makes me feel like people think I am just parroting him. I’m not! I need a time stamp. I type all this crap as I watch. I am such a dork with a laptop living up to its name during the show.

Ooh, be aware that Paula is not impressed if she leads with “You look great”.

Jason Castro: He is the poster child for pot what with his dreads and his stoner grin. But he is sooo adorable. Though I have to say that as gets more comfortable in his interviews, he seems more and more lucid. I would like him to sing one song with some edge, just once. He basically sings the same song each week. He sang “if I fell in love with Hugh”. But David Sedaris would be upset with that!

Carly Smithson-Corr: There is that ugly singing face. Good Lord, woman, take a look at the films, wouldja? She moves weird, too. She sang it extremely well. But in such a regular way. She is gonna freakin’ win, isn’t she..?

David Cook: Seriously, the hair! The HAIR! The hair is so bad that I almost did ont notice the soul patch. The SOUL PATCH! I love his voice. Yet, yikes. It is like he is skating by the notes, just barely missing them. But he’s hitting them now. He sounds like Gavin Rossdale, I think.

Brooke Light-White: She looks like she should be prettier than she is. When did they tape that footage of Brooke nannying? I’m glad they fixed her frizzy hair. It is nice to see that hair and makeup is at least helping someone (see David Cook). Wow, she has the same weird Elvis lip curl while she sings that Renee used to get when she had had a couple of drinks. Brooke always looks like she is trying to attack the microphone. It was pretty. And pretty boring. I dunno. She has a lovely voice but it did not seem she did much with that song. Hmm, Simon finally does not agree with me. My world is coming undone.

David Hernandez: I bet he’ll strip the song down, and twirl around on it. Ugh, he is still adding H’s to the front of the words. HI’m Hnot Hthat Hexcited Habout Hthis. Snore. It reminds me of Wham!’s video where they wear the hot pink shorts and floppy hair and we still did not get the they were gay.. Seriously, how did we miss that? I remember being blown away by the fact that George Michael was gay. I have to stop writing I this blurb because everything that I type seems to come across as a dig towards David Hernandez… and really, only the first sentence was meant to be one.

Amanda Overmyer: Her pants match her hair (which does not look like crap tonight!). She is rockin’ it. I think she will be here next week. I like her, just not her voice sooo much. But that red-headed chick who worked at the karaoke place lasted on season 1 forever. It was pretty good.

Michael Johns: He is singing Across the Universe. This is my favorite Beatles song. Man, if this is his exit song “nothing’s going to change my world”, it would be poignant. But I like this kid. I could see this being an encore song.

Kristy Lee Cook: She is singing it (and the band is playing it) like she’s on speed. It made me feel frantic. It is shame about the fact that she must have been attacked backstage based on the state of her jeans. Whoa, she ended it weird. I think Paula thinks Kristy is going home.

David Archuleta: He is sort of nerdy. Oops. Forgot the words. He has a quality to his voice that I can’t stand. But he has talent, too. Conundrum. He is a lip licker. Yuck. If David Cook were a lip licker, I really would not be able to watch him at all. Creepy. I dunno. I just am not sold on this kid. Is Simon going to ream him for forgetting the words? Oh, Paula did!

If we are only sending one person home, I think it will be Ramiele Malubay. If it’s two, then say goodbye to David Hernandez? (I mean, this can’t American Idol’s named David, can it? Lets get rid of one.)

Runners up: Kristy Lee Cook and David Archuleta (to go home…)

Poor Jodie Foster

First she had a crazy stalker who tried to kill the President to impress her. Now she has some idiot who sent a bomb threat, mentioning her name, to an LA airport.

What is it about her that stirs up the crazies?