Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

AI Girls Top 8

Yikes, Paula looks like she is going to go wash some laundry at the river. What’s up woth the hair? Whoa, but she is actually kind of funny, apologizing for causing the poofy hairstyle of the 80’s.

Asia’h Epperson: sings Whitney. She is begging for them to attack her. Them’s the ugliest pants I have ever seen. For karaoke, she is not bad. Blinded.by.the.horrific.spector.of.the.pants.

Kady Malloy: This girl has no consistent voice, except that she consistently sings in the back of throat. Whoa, she is hitting every sour note. Every one. A couple of times. What’s that? Oh geez, she is making me go deaf. It’s good I had a day to rest my ears between her and Luke Menard. Hmm, apparently I am deaf. Because they all liked it.

JT, you are right. Simon does seem totally over it. Wonder if he’ll do it again next year.

Amanda Overmyer: I still like her as a person. She has the cutest face. I just don’t want her to sing to me anymore. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to listen to a while album of her voice. And is she part skunk? Is Pepe le Pew her daddy? Is that why she has that hair? It’s her best yet, but meh. Go home already. (Hmm, all the judges are tone deaf tonight.)

Carly Smithson-Corr: I know what her most embarrassing moment is. It’s only selling 378 cds with a $2M promotion backing her. Hmm, guess she does not talk about that. Maybe my speakers are warped. Everyone sounds off key. Oh, she is singing Cyndi Lauper. My childhood idol. Damn it. This girl is starting to grow on me. But I still hate her ugly singing face. Yeah, she sold it. Rock on, Carly. (Celine Dion covered Cyndi Lauper?).

I should take this moment to apologize for being as retarded as the AI judges in thinking that Michael Johns sang an Inxs song. “Don’t You Forget About Me” is a Simple Minds song.

Kristy Lee Cook: She can make any song sound country. She sang it prettily with just a dollop of cheese. But she is way better than the guy who took over for Steve Perry (aw, Steve Perry).

Ramiele Malubay: She is not singing this song to my satisfaction. C’mon! You know how many concerts, starring me singing this song, there have been? I dunno. It’s like listening to a Princess Cruise entertainer from the 80’s, in a cobalt blue Bob Mackie gown, sing it.

Brooke Light-White: I keep calling her Brooke Light, so I decided to hyphenate her. It looks like John Frieda got to her. I hate to admit that she’s got something. (There is something in me determined not to really like any of them. Why? Damn, maybe Simon and I are sharing the antipathy). I like her acoustic version. But she is just singing it. She is not expressing the emotions behind the song. And that is a hella good song to get emotional about.

Syesha Mercado: Does anyone actually read my blurbs? Does it matter? I don’t guess I care. I like to get it out of my system. For some reason, this show gets me slightly obsessed. I just have always loooooved watching people perform. I think my ideal job would be as a talent scout. This has nothing to do with Syesha, but I needed to get it off my (heaving?) chest. (I love you Simon! Wooooo!!)

These kids most embarrassing moments are pathetic. I can trump them with a story from any year of my life!

Sysehsa Mercado: For real… Um, she is nailing Whitney. Right there on stage. She is singing a little slow, but hell she’s got it. (I love this girl). Judges say: “Good”; Sophisticated, lovely”; “Predictable, but good”. And that’s all they say.

I say goodbye to:
1. Kady Malloy
2. Ramiele Malubay?
Runner Up: Asia’h Epperson?


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