Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

AI Final 12- these things get longer and longer...

Ryan is working the baby faux hawk. It does not look bad, but I don’t find him attractive. Does anyone? He strikes me as a bit asexual. He is a skinny tie aficionado. I am not. That suit is tight, and by tight I mean snug. Was he sewn into it, ala Halle Berry into her catsuit, prior to the show?

Simon is wearing a white!?! Button-down shirt…? It looks like pjs. Yes. I still like it. I like him. I need help. So they are going to brutalize Beatles songs. Swell. Is Paul McCartney still alive? He annoys me. Though I saw this Stella McCartney bag that was awesome and if being nice to her dad would get me that bag… I am willing to sell out.

Syesha Mercado: I really like her, and she sings this okay, but she hits some notes weirdly. I wonder if they had adjusted the song a bit, those notes would not have been as harsh to me. She is so freakin’ cute though she looked like she was heading to the gym.

Randy thinks every song starts off rough and then it gets to be all right for him, it’s all right.

Jacuzzi: I have that sweater vest! Mine is dark gray. We could be twins!! Adorable the way he talks about his mom. Banjo. Heh… Chikezie is attempting to keep the beat by slapping his knee. But he is so off. Kind of like these girls that were attempting to clap along at a Great!Big!Sea! concert. Sad, really. He has a super cheesy quality about him (can’t get the Carlton Banks comparison out of my head). It was energetic and interesting. He sang well, but it was still cheesy.

Ramiele Malubay: That was a weird angle to start on with us staring down at her. I mean, she is short, maybe she wants America to look at her on TV the way the rest of the world sees her in person. She is consistently flat on some notes. She has a better voice than what she gives us here. I’m bored. I feel like I am suffering through someone’s kid performing for us after a dinner party. She’s going home. I hate it when Simon says exactly what I just wrote. It makes me feel like people think I am just parroting him. I’m not! I need a time stamp. I type all this crap as I watch. I am such a dork with a laptop living up to its name during the show.

Ooh, be aware that Paula is not impressed if she leads with “You look great”.

Jason Castro: He is the poster child for pot what with his dreads and his stoner grin. But he is sooo adorable. Though I have to say that as gets more comfortable in his interviews, he seems more and more lucid. I would like him to sing one song with some edge, just once. He basically sings the same song each week. He sang “if I fell in love with Hugh”. But David Sedaris would be upset with that!

Carly Smithson-Corr: There is that ugly singing face. Good Lord, woman, take a look at the films, wouldja? She moves weird, too. She sang it extremely well. But in such a regular way. She is gonna freakin’ win, isn’t she..?

David Cook: Seriously, the hair! The HAIR! The hair is so bad that I almost did ont notice the soul patch. The SOUL PATCH! I love his voice. Yet, yikes. It is like he is skating by the notes, just barely missing them. But he’s hitting them now. He sounds like Gavin Rossdale, I think.

Brooke Light-White: She looks like she should be prettier than she is. When did they tape that footage of Brooke nannying? I’m glad they fixed her frizzy hair. It is nice to see that hair and makeup is at least helping someone (see David Cook). Wow, she has the same weird Elvis lip curl while she sings that Renee used to get when she had had a couple of drinks. Brooke always looks like she is trying to attack the microphone. It was pretty. And pretty boring. I dunno. She has a lovely voice but it did not seem she did much with that song. Hmm, Simon finally does not agree with me. My world is coming undone.

David Hernandez: I bet he’ll strip the song down, and twirl around on it. Ugh, he is still adding H’s to the front of the words. HI’m Hnot Hthat Hexcited Habout Hthis. Snore. It reminds me of Wham!’s video where they wear the hot pink shorts and floppy hair and we still did not get the they were gay.. Seriously, how did we miss that? I remember being blown away by the fact that George Michael was gay. I have to stop writing I this blurb because everything that I type seems to come across as a dig towards David Hernandez… and really, only the first sentence was meant to be one.

Amanda Overmyer: Her pants match her hair (which does not look like crap tonight!). She is rockin’ it. I think she will be here next week. I like her, just not her voice sooo much. But that red-headed chick who worked at the karaoke place lasted on season 1 forever. It was pretty good.

Michael Johns: He is singing Across the Universe. This is my favorite Beatles song. Man, if this is his exit song “nothing’s going to change my world”, it would be poignant. But I like this kid. I could see this being an encore song.

Kristy Lee Cook: She is singing it (and the band is playing it) like she’s on speed. It made me feel frantic. It is shame about the fact that she must have been attacked backstage based on the state of her jeans. Whoa, she ended it weird. I think Paula thinks Kristy is going home.

David Archuleta: He is sort of nerdy. Oops. Forgot the words. He has a quality to his voice that I can’t stand. But he has talent, too. Conundrum. He is a lip licker. Yuck. If David Cook were a lip licker, I really would not be able to watch him at all. Creepy. I dunno. I just am not sold on this kid. Is Simon going to ream him for forgetting the words? Oh, Paula did!

If we are only sending one person home, I think it will be Ramiele Malubay. If it’s two, then say goodbye to David Hernandez? (I mean, this can’t American Idol’s named David, can it? Lets get rid of one.)

Runners up: Kristy Lee Cook and David Archuleta (to go home…)


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