Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

You may have won! Log on to find out!

What’s the deal with the new fad of getting you completely captivated by something, only to have them tell you to go to a website to finish the story? Hmm, that sounds convoluted. Let me explain.

Example #1: I was watching MTV with my mom about this 16 year old Mormon chick who married a 17 year non-Mormon boy. At the end of the show, which for some reason I watched until the end, the girl says “To find out what I gave to boy’s mom, go to my website.” So I will never find out what she gave his mom.

Example #2: News programs that used to piss me off with the whole “Amazing breakthrough that will SAVE YOUR LIFE! Details at 10:00.” (Like I am ever going to remember to tune in) are now saying “Earn a million dollars in 15 minutes. Log on to our website to find out how.” (I made that up, but you know what I mean.)

Example #3: Magazines that ask questions, or have surveys and say to find out the answer, log on to their webpage. Self did this recently with a question about women’s health and breast cancer. I am now probably going to die because they did not have that information readily available for me while I was engaged in receiving it.

Listen, I will go to your website if I feel like it. Hell, I may even be more apt to log on if you are having a contest where I could win something, or see naked pictures of Wentworth Miller. BUT, I am not going to do everything with a pad of paper and a pen so that I can write down your web address and the question I want an answer to so that I may run to the computer and have to search on your crappy site for the answer you have craftily hidden from me.

Monday, March 12, 2007

First day

I could hardly sleep, I was so anxious about starting my new job. You know, the new job that is going to shoot me to the stars, it will be so damn great.
I slept with one eye open and a bladder full of tea because I read a book in which the main character (it was a biography, so is she still a character?) was too broke to pay for an alarm, so when she had important things to get up for, she would drink a huge glass of water. Hence the tea and the full bladder. Hey, it works. I got up early.
I got myself ready. I made some fresh coffee. I got my tail on the road a full hour before I needed to be here. Traffic was not bad. I got to work in half an hour and it is 20+ miles away. (Hey Brian, Parkway rocks!)
I got to the door of my new office and pulled. It is a push door. That will take some getting used to. I was greeted by a very happy-to-see-me HR girl. That is a great way to start the day! She looked like she wanted to hug me, but opted for the handshake instead, only admitting later, after I was hugged by another one of the girls, that she too, had wanted to give the Bug a hug.
I met everyone. Ever notice how men in suits all look the same. I have no idea who any of them are. I feel like I met the same guy over and over again.
I have a nice little area. It is private and all mine. I even have windows.
I am so bored. I am not certain what I should be doing. I am completely retarded when it comes to the phone, so I have reverted to taking hand written messages. Whaa? I know. I will taking shorthand dictation next. (No dictation jokes. You know you are more clever than that!)
Here is to hoping that I figure out how to get in the front door tomorrow.