Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Easy going, nice girl seeks patient coffee maker

A bumblebee just flew into my window. First of all, what is he doing all the way up here? I am on the tenth floor. Second, why did he want to come in here? Was he hoping to get some faxes done for free? Because they charge you an arm and a leg at Kinkos. Maybe he thought a cup of coffee would energize him for his long flight back down to ground level. Unfortunately, the fuse blew in our kitchen and we are free from coffee machine coffee. It is okay, though. There was a field trip to the local Caribou, where I have a new audience to alienate with my complicated coffee orders.

Today’s order went something like this:

Me: (playing with my hair, trying to look cute, so they’ll like me. Also, my early experiences with Caribou occurred after my getting a hair cut and then rewarding myself with a coffee treat at the Caribou next to my salon. I would strut in, blonde hair aflowin’, and with a flip of my long sultry tresses I would order them to make me a drink, dammit! So, long story not so short, I get a little cocky when in a Caribou, because I have a history of feeling pretty when I go in there.)

Caribou Coffee Order Taker: …

Me: I will have a Mint Condition. (I should have said something like, “I will only take it if it is in Mint Condition”, or “I need a drink. I understand I have a condition. A Mint Condition”. But I am not clever, and those were not that clever.)

CCOT: $4 Million dollars please.

Me: Wait! Only one pump mocha and all the mint!

CCOT: Typing furiously into the computer

Me: No! Wait! 4 pumps mint. It’s so sweet. You got that I said non-fat, right? And the no-whipped?

CCOT: Still typing.

Me: Tee hee. I am so cute, right?

CCOT: So disgusted, will not look at me.

So I move over to gather my beverage and tell the Coffee Maker Guy to go ahead and put some whipped cream on it. But just a weeeee bit.

Coffee Maker Guy: Puts a ton of whipped cream on it. (oops, I typed me instead of it and that would make this a much more interesting story that I would probably tell over drinks at bars to strangers for years to come. But alas, that did not happen. What did happen was that I made a face and a squeaky noise and told him to take some of it back off again.)

CMG: nicely takes some of it off.


I might need to start going back to Starbucks….


Anonymous Brian said...

DId you get your free coupons for the new Caribou Coffee in Shirlington? Mine were addressed "To the Coffee Lover at XXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX XX" (address removed for safety purposes - you might try to break into my home and steal my coupons) I thought that was kinda funny since I don't drink coffee, so I'm not really a "Coffee Lover".

I got a coupon for a free drink, any size, any kind, a coupon for buy one drink and get one free and a coupon for $2.00 off a pound of beans. I wonder if they are magic beans, that would be quite a bargain if they were.

3/24/2007 10:40:00 AM  
Blogger Buggie said...

They were not for you. The coffee lover at your house is Scout. I see how jittery she gets when she does not get her joe.

3/24/2007 10:48:00 AM  

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