Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Oh Canadia!

M and J and I went to Canada for my birthday. These are some snippets of our trip, taken directly out of my little yellow notebook. Chin chin!
Note: This is mostly an inside joke. Sorry if you don't get it. It was funny, I swear it.

  1. Jen saw a sasquatch. She swears it. I'd say she was hammered, but it was 10 am. This was in Montreal.
  2. "You haven't said anything funny since we got to Canada. I'm sorry. I just had to say that."
  3. "Shut up, Loser!" "Don't say that word." "Sorry. Be quiet, Loser!"
  4. Jen thinks that by speaking English in a French accent, she is actually speaking French.
  5. It's Canada day. A boy approaches Jen at the bar we are in and asks her to sign his Canadian flag. She says, sure! and signs it "I American." He looks at it and disgustedly says "Write something nice!".
  6. "Just try it, I'll like it."
  7. "I HATE FROGS!" - Marsha apparently was getting irritated..
  8. Memory of mine (not in yellow book). Approximately 4 am: J and M, arm in arm like Laverne and Shirley, skipping down the street, past the window of the restaurant we were in. They were running to the hotel to escape any possible tag-alongs.
  9. "It's no reflection on (fill in name here)" (This is said in regards to trying to get someone to do something that you know is bad, but don't what that someone to blame another friend for your bad behavior.)
  10. Jen swears she saw Halle Berry and Eric Benet. So we ran through the streets of Montreal. While somebody claimed they too, had seen the celebs, I am still skeptical.
  11. The Llamuskie is between Quebec City and Montreal. It is a huge statue of what looks to be a Llama and a Huskie. Weird. Maybe we will want to see it again someday. So dere it is, gone.. (hee hee)
  12. On my birthday, we were out and enjoying some beverages and Big B was surrounded by me, Jen and Marci and our waitress. All chicks. He wished that he had a guy to talk to when poof! Crazy Ukrainian? man came and hung out with him. He just wouldn't go away. So, be careful what you wish for.
  13. On the plane ride home, pilot says "I have good news and bad news. For being such good sports about our delay, the first round is on me. Bad news, I only have 6 beers, 6 wines and 20 single bottles. Good luck!"

Some quotes:

  • Ouch
  • Apparently
  • Couche-tard
  • Soooo-phisticated
  • Ow, quit it.
  • Hottawa
  • Candy
  • I got it. I got, I got it.
  • Don't be a playa hata.

Best trip I ever went on. Never laughed as hard. Thanks girls (and boy). Hope we can do that one again. But, I already got the best souvenir on July 1.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Inspired... sort of... by Jim Peal

I had a big piece of cake
Chocolate with tons of fudge frosting
I had all I could take
It got quite exhausting
But now I am all alone
I don't feel as fine
I have my cake at home
with a glass of red wine

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Simon Cowelllllllll

The following is said with major apology to the man I love. No one holds a candle to him. That said...
It's sick how Simon Cowell gets to me. I can't explain it. His pissy Britishness breaks me. He is out of shape and has a funny hairdo. Still, I like how he sits with his arms crossed and I like the stunned/hysterical/angry/and/or bewildered look he gets on his face and how he is brutally honest to people. His cantankerous attitude pleases me and am certain that he and Paula Abdul had some sessions that involved someone shouting "I am going to Hollywood!!" (That is NOT pleasing to me... Seriously, she looks like a llama.) But his horrible meanness is wildly attractive.. (I am not sure about his man-boobs that he proudly displays in his snug v-neck t-shirts.) That's enough out of me. Sorry to all that I offend with this information. It seems that I am alone on the boat of Simon Cowell. Yet, he is my celebrity crush. I am truly pathetic. But it always seems that people have celebrity crushes on people so much better looking than their partner. I can't do better than mine, so I have to go for bizarre celebrity...
Don't mock me. I know I am weird.

PS.. Maybe I just want to smack him around a bit...
PS2... I hate people who snap when they sing. I really hate it a lot.
PS3.... Why do people feel they need to add dance steps?
PS4..... The people who look weird, or have a gimmick, can't sing.
PS5...... JEN! They are going to Cleveland! WOOOOO! Winking Lizard, here we come!!!!!

Work makes me lazy...?

Well, that's the truth, but the fact is that they blocked almost everything on the internet to the point where I cannot come onto this site from my work computer any longer. Therefore updates will not be as frequent. Boy, it totally stinks. But as there are only about 4 people who read this, it's only 5 people (including myself) that will be disappointed. Well, I hope you'd be disappointed.