Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

American Idol in DC. Bug likes to watch... And comment...

  • I love how people miss-sing the lyrics of songs, especially the National Anthem. “Bombs bursting the air.”
  • If you are a strong lisper, do you honestly have faith that you will be a super rockstar? I mean, do you honethtly have faith that you will a thuper rockthtar?
  • When given a chance, some people just give up. It’s weird. Oh yikes, he should have given up. He sounds like a tea kettle getting ready to boil and he keeps forgetting the words. Then he claps. Then he started to cry. Poor Jesse. He lost it, but I am not sure he should have been there in the first place.
  • The way people stand still when they have words to sing and then do weird dance steps during the non-word part of the song is hilarious.
  • Milli Vanilli are German, not French like Mark McGrath said. What a maroon.
  • NASAL singing rocks!
  • I like how people keep singing, even though they are not welcome to.
  • I don’t get that cocky attitude people come in with saying how great they are and how they are going to win and conquer the world and then say whatever. It’s so defeating.
  • Whoa, Toni Braxton’s cousin is in to sing. (He’s the cocky one…) He’s a complete ass. He sounds like he is singing while sitting on a washing machine on spin cycle. What an ass. His (lack of) talent renders the judges speechless. Then he won’t leave, telling them how great he is.. Then he gets in front of the camera later to say that he is going to rule the world and how he hates all of the judges, esp. Randy whom he doesn’t understand why is in a judging position anyway as he has never done anything except maybe produce a couple of songs for Whitney Houston and Toni Braxton. Big Deal. (So he talks down his own cousin.. He’s a delight.)
  • These people sing like they are being electrocuted.
  • This girl sold her wedding rings to get to stay and audition in DC. RingS? How many did she have? Hope she is good, because she will DIE if she can’t express herself through music. Oh, she is good. Her husband is scary. (Trailer park.) She’s in, but I want to make a prediction. She is not going to stay with her husband long.
  • It doesn’t seem like anyone who auditioned in DC is from DC.
  • Guy with scary coloured contacts look like a black Will Ferrell and sings like he’s driving fast over a cobblestone road. Plus, he thrusts out his crotch every time he inhales. AND he sang Tomorrow from Annie?
  • Paula Abdul looks like a Llama.
  • Funny how some people are the epitome of sweet and angelic before they audition and turn into Satan after they have been told to go home. Whatever happened to graceful defeat?
  • Human beatboxes are weird, but Travis is a cutie and he can sing.
  • Ok, I am officially embarrassed by the girl representing my hometown of Springfield, VA. She does “Hanky Panky” by Madonna. Even the judges seem embarrassed, yet Mark McGrath does manage to say “Spanking is tremendous.”
  • Oh no, Camel Toe!
  • Camel toe is Mary from Manassas. They are trying to compare her to William Hung from last year. Uh, no. This girl is certifiably insane. With voices in her head and everything. I don’t think she was kidding. I think she is possessed. She sings like a demon is trying to burst through her neck.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Hanamas

For a few years now, I have been quietly celebrating Hanukkah. Luckily, I have a few friends who like to join me in the celebration. And then, to add to the joyous occasion, we found out that one of the posse is part Jewish. Not just Jewish at Hanukkah time, either. Hence, the first Hanamas. 1/2 HANUkkah and 1/2 ChristMAS. (Hmm, I think maybe we should spell it Hanumas. We each spell it differently. Ah! the advent of a new holiday!)
The first celebration of Hanumas is recorded to have occurred on January 15, 2005. (At Jen's new pad. By the way, hats off to a beautiful home.)
We started off with a nice meal that included:

  • Matzo ball soup
  • Latkes with apple sauce and sour cream
  • Christmas salad with walnuts, dried blueberries, goat cheese and cherry tomatoes.

We enjoyed a lovely mulled wine and retired to the living room where we feverishly tore through fantastic gifts aplenty.

While the customs of Hanumas have yet to be written in stone, here are some of them:

  1. We believe that there are 10 evenings of Hanumas, as there are 8 nights of Hanukkah and 12 days of Christmas.
  2. There is one song (sung to the tune of Driedel, dreidel dreidel...)


Plunger, plunger, plunger
You're better than a tree
And when we go to Bug's house
We can finally pee

Hannamus is coming
That is very clear
We'll open lots of presents
And drinks some wine and beer
Hey!

Presents Presents Presents
They're my favorite kind of treat
Plus my two best girlfriends
Who are so very sweet
Hey!

I will drink lots of glu-wein
I will drink tons of beer
and if you give me latkes
I'll stick them in my ear
oh!
(I am certain that more stanzas will be added. I wish I could remember the ones sung at the Hanumas dinner table)

That's all the customs so far. I hope the other participants of this wondrous holiday will help me out if I forgot anything.)

HAPPY HANUMAS

Crabby

I am crabby today. I woke up late, put my undergarments on inside out. (Too much info, I know. I am sorry.)
It's been a rough week. And my 3 hour visit to the dentist did not delight me in any way. My gums are so raw that after I brushed my teeth this morning, I sat on the toilet and cried.
Plus, I am mean. I am mean to people I love.
So, I am crabby. I am afraid I will be crabby until I figure out how to be a better person.
Maybe it is time for me to work on my list of New Year's resolutions.