Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Long time ago, we started a story via email. Everyone wrote a couple of lines and then passed it to the next person. The initial after the paragraph denotes who wrote it. I, of course, am B. Marsh is M and Clussy is C. But I really thought Harms wrote here too. Strange.
It is a terrible story, yet full of fun. I just remember all the non-story emails that consisted of "Who has the story?" and "Where is the story?". ha! And then we would get mad at each other for not having the story go the way we had planned. Good times. I love my girls.


Kate blew on her nails, wondering if that really helped dry them quicker, or if it was just something you did like shaking Polaroid prints to make them develop faster. Isn't it common knowledge by now, that it does not help the picture show up faster? She contemplated the colour she had chosen. Shut up
and kiss me. It was a deep pink, almost red, but not slutty. Did she pick the colour because she was looking for some action without the mental games, and if so, why was the colour not sluttier? Why did girls paint their nails anyway? The only person she knew who appreciated the gesture was her friend
Julianna. Julianna was the queen of primping. Hell, she probably knew whether blowing on the nail polish was useful. Kate picked up the phone with her feet. She used her nose to press redial, because as fate would have it, Julianna was the last person she called. Actually, Julianna was the only
person she called except for the pizza people. She had them on speed dial too. (B)

"Yeah?" came Julianna's sing-song voice through the phone.
"You knew it was me" Kate said flatly, somehow disappointed.
"Yeah, well, who loves me? What's up? Can you believe that we are actually going tonight? Hopefully there won't be any bullshit this time."

Although she did not say it out loud, Kate secretly hoped there would be a little bit of it, just for fun, just for old times sake. It was that one night, nearly eight months ago that had set her life on such a downward spiral, but at the time it seemed so wonderfully blissful, so completely
perfect, that she had not seen herself plunging into the grayness currently enveloping her mind. (M)

"HELLOOOO????" rang Julianna's voice into the receiver "Where are you zoning off to over there? I just asked you if Daniel was coming out with us tonight and you're not answering"
"oh" muttered Kate "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about that last night in Atlanta when I bumped into that bass player.... Jake"(C)
"Really?" Julianna said incredulously. "Seriously, Katie."
Kate absolutely hated being called Katie. But wouldn't you know it, that is what people loved to call her.
"You can't date people whose names rhyme with yours." Julianna carried on. "Besides, Daniel is hotter."
There were times were Kate wanted to throttle her friend. Julianna was incapable of seeing the bigger picture. She lived in the moment and that was one thing Kate was super jealous of. It was also the one thing that drove her absolutely mad, because it made it impossible to talk about things that she was holding onto from her past. She sighed.
"I know." She said resignatedly. "Anyway, I was calling to see what you were wearing." (B)

Kate slipped into a pair of low-slung jeans and as she did so, she let her mind wander. Jake was the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes upon. She knew Julianna did not agree, and perhaps stepping outside of herself she, too, could see that his was not a traditional beauty. It was his deep sapphire eyes that looked almost black to the general onlooker, the way his arms swayed when he moved like they were precious instruments playing the sweetest song, and more to the point, it was his bass guitar. He played that guitar so lovingly, so knowingly and with such fiery emotion, that the second Kate spied him in that hot, Atlanta club, she knew she wanted to be played too. She knew that she would give herself over completely to him, she would beg for his touch.

As it turned out, Kate would not have to beg. The moment she had entered the club he saw her too, through the smoke and the crowd. In fact it was he who laid eyes upon her first. What was it that drew his gaze to her? Was it her long chestnut hair, pretty but not remarkable? Was it her deep brown eyes that seemed to burn right through a person? Her figure was trim, yet curvy, but that wasn't it either. It was the want in her, it exuded from deep within her soul. It was all about her, in her eyes, her mannerisms. She wanted something desperately and he knew he wanted to give it to her.
(M)

And that he did... Kate tried not to dwell on the details of their sordid encounter in the men's bathroom that hot night in the seedy Atlanta lounge.
The strong grip he had on the back of her neck as they kissed, the way he pulled back violently to look into her eyes as if he couldn't believe what she was triggering in him and the inexplicable shivers that ran through Kate's body as she tore free from his grip. She knew then that she was asking for trouble and wouldn't walk down that lonely road of abandonment again. She kissed him that one last time, leaving a trace of salt on his lips from her tear. Neither of them could explain what had just come over them or why they were left with such a feeling of despair at not being in each others arms anymore, after all, they had just met. At least, that's what they led everyone else to believe.

Kate pulled herself out of her daze and zipped up her sleek camel knee high boots, glossed over her finished hairstyle w/a bit of silicone gel and dashed out the door. She knew she was playing with fire in coinciding the evening's plans with stopping by Jake's new bar for a drink. Of course Julianna didn't know the details involved in this bar that Kate was urging her to meet at because if she did, she would definitely have put a stop to it. Julianna knew that something was brewing for the evening but wasn't sure what it was. She knows Kate enough to know that she never worries this much about what she's going to wear out or primps this much. Something was going to happen tonight. Now if she only knew what, she might be able to spare Kate the sobriety of an impending heartache and such a blow to her
fantasy world.(C)

Julianna worried about her friend. She'd never seen her affected as she was by Jake. She threw on her jacket and grabbed her bag as she walked out the door of her apartment into her car. Her cell phone rang as the engine sprang to life. It was Daniel.
“Where am I meeting you guys?”
Julianna gripped the phone with her shoulder and threw her BMW into gear and shot down the street. “We are going to grab a drink at that new bar on Windsor and Ivy. I don’t think we will be there for more than an hour.” She said. “I’ll bet it’s pretty packed.”
“Does she want me to show up?” He asked, worried. Daniel had had a crush on Kate from the first time he saw her ordering a quadruple shot espresso at Joe’s Java House. He thought maybe she was tired, but it was a typical order for her. But her response to him had always been friendly, at best.
Julianna was silent. She knew her friend was not romantically interested in him, but she thought they would make a great match. Besides, he was fun to hang out with and always paid for their drinks. “Um, sure.” (B)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Drink more water

I have been trying to drink a lot of water, lately. I figure that drinking water will keep me from jamming junk food in my mouth. So far it's done a pretty good job of that. My aim is about 4 1/2 liter bottles a day. I read that it actually boosts your metabolism. A study in Britain found that after drinking approximately 17 ounces of water (slightly more than 2 glasses), the subjects' metabolic rates increased by 30% for both men and women. The increases occurred within 10 minutes of water consumption and reached a maximum after about 30 to 40 minutes. This comes to about 25 calories burned per 16 ounces of water. But I wonder if you burn the calories because you are running back and forth to the potty.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Engrish

www.engrish.com
Below you will find 3 versions of the same text. The original text is at the bottom with the two above having been translated from English into Russian and back into English, and the next was done in German. We entertained ourselves for hours doing this a while back and I thought it would be fun to revisit. It is also an excellent introduction to the Engrish website. Enjoy!

(English-Russian-English)
Obviously I try to entertain weights with the provided addresses of a website of websites which held me laughter and borrowed during boring pieces on work. This website name Engrish. Engrish can be simply determined as comic English mistakes which appear in the Japanese advertising and the project of a product. Results are frequently cheerful. For this reason I have taken this paragraph and have transferred it from English language in Russian and back in English language. Hence nonsense. I hope, that you can understand it, and I certainly hope, that it forces you to laugh.

(English-German-English)
Seemingly I try to maintain the masses by supplied website addresses of websites which keep me the laughter and during the dull Streckens at the work owns have. This website is called Engrish. Engrish can be simply defined as the amusing English mistakes which appear in the Japanese advertisement and product design. Results are often screamingly funny. Therefore, I took this section and translated it from the English into the German and back into the English. Consequently the stupidity. I hope that you can understand this, and I hope certainly that it allows to laugh you.

(Original)
Apparently I am trying to entertain the masses by provided website addresses of websites that have kept me laughing and occupied during boring stretches at work. This website is called Engrish. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Results are often hilarious. That is why I took this paragraph and translated it from English into Russian and back into English. Hence the silliness. I hope you can understand this and I certainly hope it makes you laugh.
(If you would like to try your hand at this, the website I used to translate was http://translation.paralink.com/translation.asp )

Snarkywood

This may be the best website ever. They actually update it periodically, too. www.snarkywood.com Check it out. They are nastier than me. (Is it possible?)

FLEAS!

I have fleas. I am seriously infested with fleas. FLEAS! I was standing in my bedroom last night and my foot was black with the little buggers. Nasty. So I was grabbing them and drowning them in my sink. They were holding on with their evil little feet, screaming "Noooooooo! We have so much more hopping and blood-sucking to do!" I am going to have to burn everything in my house.

Fleas are cocky, too. I found on sucking one my ear. My ear! He was whispering sweet nothings while sucking out my life blood. I almost fell for it until I realized, hey wait, I am all alone. No one is here to be whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I look in the mirror. FLEA ON MY EAR! And they look at you and hop out of the way just as you grab for them to violently tear them apart. I have a ridge in my thumb from my thumbnail, where I grab them and rip their bodies into pieces. And I was lying in my bed last night just feeling them hop all over me. Gross! Yet, everytime I looked, nothing! Sneaky bastards. Uck! My goal is to scrub my house tonight and kill whatever I can. I read that it is going to take me three months to get rid of these guys. Nasty and disgusting. I have a feeling they are plotting against me. I know they are mocking me.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Closer

I went to the movies on Saturday. I saw the movie "Closer" with Jude Law, Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman. First, I just want to mention that the couple sitting in front of me were about 60 years old. This would not have affected me in any way but for the extreme sexual nature of the film and the depravity of it. The two girls to the left of me got up and left when Clive Owens started calling Julia Roberts a F^&*ing slut and other phrases that I would not type out here. What a terrible movie. Everyone lies and cheats and is generally awful. And Natalie Portman as a stripper is not something that I had ever wanted to experience. Yikes. So the movie ends and I am sitting there like I was hit with a 2x4 and a waiting for the couple to leave because they make me feel even more awkward about what I saw. I really have no point to this story. I am disappointed in the actors and in the story. I hate movies about deceit.