Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Montana on Tuesday, driving on Wednesday

I drove through Kalispell, Montana yesterday. Some congressman or senator has an event there that a former boss used to go to. Kalispell seemed out in the middle of nowhere to me and now that I have driven through it I see that it is indeed, in the middle of nowhere. But what a beautiful nowhere it is. I drove for a while behind a car that was from...Virginia! I was so excited, but they did not seem to be. I contemplated nudging their bumper to say hi, but I guess that would not excite me much if someone did that to me. So I sped away and wound up in Glacier National Park in Montana.

I think this would be a great place to camp and go boating or kayaking. I am willing to come back here in case any of you think a camping trip may be a great plan. (Harms?)

The trees enclosed the streets. It was much different than Yellowstone. At Glacier Lake, the trees were rich and bountiful. No toothpicks stuck into a mountain here. It is remarkable to see what a fire will do.
"Climb ev'ry mountain. Ford ev'ry stream. Follow ev'ry rainbow. 'Til you find your dream."

I am going through (yet another) fixation on Julie Andrews. It is never ending, my crush on her, but this time it is because I am reading her autobiography and also due to the fact that youtube.com has everything that I used to have to physically go to the Museum of Radio and Television in New York City (where I went in the early 90's to borrow "Cinderella" starring Julie Andrews and then sat in a little cubicle and watched it in all it's grainy black and white glory) for. I found this trailer for Mary Poppins that someone put together. Hilarious. Watch it here.

So, after leaving Glacier National Park, I wanted to get a hotel room early and checked out a Super 8. Sold out. Then I drove back through Kalispell and they were sold out. Everything all the way to Libby, MT was sold out. I was forced to drive until 10:30 PM to find a place to sleep. (Over 500 miles!) During this drive I was lucky enough to be trapped behind a pickup truck driving 30 mph all the while with the left turn signal blinking away (Liar! You had no intentions of turning). Then I kept seeing deer every where. Luckily they stayed off the road. Oh, and the rain. The ever present rain. Sigh. I had to wear my glasses and everything! (I know! You can't believe that I am not perfect, but it is just a little bit of issue with the far away stuff... I am still practically perfect in every way).

I found a motel where I had to ring a bell and some kids opened the door. Then a man in a red bathrobe came out and gave me a key. I wandered to my new home and noticed it looked out over an alley. I walked in and it was the perfect set for a scary movie. I blockaded my door and showered with my flip flops on. (1. ew, grody shower and 2. so I could run away faster!). I kept seeing shadows of people who were out to get me, but in the end I slept well and even dreamed of having an acting class with two tall handsome blond boys, one of whom I think was supposed to be my boyfriend. I think I was younger in my dream.

This morning I hit the snooze a mazillion times and then finally got up and let the lady, who must be married to the red bathrobe guy, make me a latte and it was good. Then I posted to you guys and hit the road. I got into Canada and drove through some serious mountains. I really hate passing vehicles when there is only one lane going each way. I am terrified I am going to time it wrong and become like the bugs on my windshield, only I will be the Bug on someone else's windshield. I am getting good at it though because the people were driving 20 mph. Grr. Move it or lose it, honey. I saw a deer on the road, and he looked at me and licked his lips. I am not sure what that was supposed to mean.

Driving up the hills was horrendous. I put the pedal to the metal and nothing would happen. The roads were steep and the altitude is high. I could not hear for about 5 hours. Then when I drove into a valley, my ears popped and I was granted the gift of sound! Oh, and on the whole drive today, it rained. I know! Can you believe it? I am the Rain King (Move over, Adam Duritz). Yet, because of the rain, my head was in the clouds.

I stoppped in a town called Osoyoos, BC. This is a touristy area with a lake. I wanted to stay there, but they wanted $150 for a room. !!! So I kept driving and found a room for $60. Much better. It looks like someone's apartment and smells like an old folks home. I stopped early tonight so that I could write properly. I hope you all appreciate it. Everything I do, I do it for you.

Oh, and JT, I found the Sasquatch. He lives in BC. I talked to him and he said he was indeed on vacation in Montreal five years ago. He said to say hi.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Monday Grand Teton, Yellowstone park

This is mostly a photo entry because I simply have not had any time to write. Even now I am skirting my hotel's rule of being out by 11 because I just wanna finish something! In order to appease you, here are some pretty photos. -Bug

I wrote this while sitting in my car early on Monday:

I am finally learning what the phrase “breathtaking” means. The mountains in Grand Teton National Park are met by the calm waters of Jackson Lake. Still covered in snow, the mountains rise up along the horizon and create an atmosphere of strength and serenity. I could stay here forever. As I was driving up (searching for bears to no avail), my stomach started to ache. It was weird, like the beauty of this landscape is painful. The Grand Tetons are the youngest mountain peaks in the Rockies. This area is very popular amongst Ansel Adams students. The name les Grand Tetons translates to “the big breasts”, so I know a couple of you who will want to visit. Must be time for me to move on. I am sitting here at Jackson Lake with my door open, typing away and a bee keeps visiting me and having a hard time finding his way out of the car. I guess he thinks I should move along. I didn’t know park rangers came in such small sizes. How do they fit them for the uniform? There he is again. Okay sir! I am going!

Grand Teton

Jackson Lake, Wyoming

Then I drove into Yellowstone where I got to witness beautiful rapids.

But Yellowstone is still affected by the wildfire of 1988. It is sad, really. It looks like (quoting my mother) toothpicks stuck into a hill. You would think it would have regenerated by now. That was 20 years ago.
On my way out of the park, it started to rain. (Seriously, I have seen rain practically every day I have been driving in my car. Enough already.) The fire warnings were high, so I am sure the rangers were grateful, but the ground could not absorb it, and we drove through some seriously high rapids that formed on the street. It was a little scary. I don't know if you can see it in the following photo, but look at the lower left hand corner. Plus, there's me! Adorable me!
What's this traffic jam for?
Someone saw some elk.
And a bison
I found a bison skeleton. I asked the ranger about it and he said that the bison had died of starvation in the winter. I asked where it's head was and he shrugged, saying he did not know. I said a bear probably took it for a late night treat. And he said, have a good day.
This is a pool by Old Faithful. I decided to walk to the morning glory pool and found this on my way. See it is boiling.

This is the morning glory pool. Isn't it pretty? Doesn't smell pretty. Sulfurous odor that washed over you with a slap of heat. That baby is boiling, too.

It is just sad that people need to throw coins into bodies of water. I wish they would address why people throw things into fountains.

Here is a video of Old Faithful erupting. I was a little slow in filming, but you get the tail end. Enjoy!


Dings and smashes and no bears, dammit!

I am too sleepy to be coherent tonight. Also, the wind here is insane and when I got out of my car, the wind ripped the door out of my hand and smashed it into the U-Haul trailer next to me which then energetically dented my door which I then made worse by attempting to open the rear door which caught on the front door dent and created a new chip in the paint. Then I opened my emergency car kit which has a pair of pliers in it and worked on undenting the dent which sort of worked, but I am still mad. I also ran over something that made an intensive and unfortunate clanging sound on the bottom side of my vehicle which may or may not be bad. Hoping for not bad.

In any case: where the heck are the bears and mooses*? I saw not one though I did see this sign everywhere which made me think that I should not be able to turn without running into a bear, yet... no bears. Grr.
More about my day tomorrow.

*I was just being silly. I know the plural for Moose is Meese

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Why? Oh, ming.

I started out the day in CO where I passed the Budweiser brewery. I veered off of my path when I saw a sign for a Natural Rock Bridge. I drove into the nothing for several miles until I found a bunch of families picnicking (think Hain's Point). The bridge was pretty, though. It was naturally formed and some of the pioneers on the Oregon Trail (were they adventurous) would go through this area, though it was treacherous terrain.

I opted to hike up to the top of the bridge...in my flip flops. They say I am brilliant! Now, I am just about an hour away from Yellowstone National Park. I was closer for a while, but my gas tank was getting precariously low and there were no gas stations in sight, so I had to turn around and drive back 30 miles. In the meantime I saw a moose, a deer and a rainbow. I bet this house has a pot o'gold in it.

These are some of the mountains that are around me. Pretty, huh?

Finally, I stopped and enjoyed some Moose Drool while eating a cheese Quesadilla.

Now I am tired and can't think straight. I bought a cool cowgirly shirt in Cheyenne that I may wear tomorrow and then find someone to photograph me. We'll see how persuasive I can be.

Still not moving...

Hmmm, I am still in Colorado. I was not kidding when I said it was hard to leave my sister. Add to that the virus in my computer and the fact that my brother-in-law works for a big software company, I stayed today to allow my computer to be refreshed completely. And now I have a computer like new. Who creates viruses? Those people should be forced to ingest salmonella infested chicken.
I did drive south to the mountains, Evergreen, CO. I visited with my friend John and had an opportunity to really see the mountains for where my sister lives, the area is rather flat. I took pictures at Red Rocks which I will post tomorrow, maybe.
I am leaving for Cheyenne in the morning to be a part of Frontier Days. I have never been to a rodeo before. I am looking forward to it even though I saw some booty shorts for sale on the website as souvenirs and I am afraid I might witness them in person. Gah.
I have 1400 miles until I get to Vancouver. I am looking forward to getting there, but I am going to take my time getting there. I'd like to see what's in between.
Sorry to post so infrequently, but that will change once I hit the road.