Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Travel plans

In two weeks I will be on the road in New England somewhere, sightseeing with my mum who has agreed to join me for the first week of my road trip. After that, I will be joining the Canada Day festivities in the capital of the Great White North. (Though probably not wearing the “Canada: America’s hat” t-shirt I have, for fear of a beat down).

July 2 will see me traversing much roadway as I attempt, in haste, to get to Chicago by noon on July 3. 800 miles, baby! There is some sort of surprise awaiting me at 1pm on July 5, but I don’t know what it is. Can’t wait, though!

After Chicago, I will make my way to Colorado to visit my sister and a myriad of friends I have in that state. My niece’s birthday is in early July, I want to be there for it. After some time in Colorado, I will no longer have a timeline for my visits and can languidly relish the various sights our immense country has to offer.

Some stops along the way:
Victoria, BC. – My dad used to say that this is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. He ought to know. He traveled a bunch!

Puget Sound: I want to see Orcas.

Pike Place market: I wonder if they will let me throw fish for a couple of ducats?

Visiting family in Oregon, friends in CA, TX, FL, NC and VA.

There is a place in San Antonio where some kids in a school bus were hit by a train and the legend is that if you leave your car in neutral in the intersection where the train tracks used to lie, the ghosts of the kids will push your car to safety. I HAVE to check this out!

If I can, I would like to get to a couple of MLB games. I have to, after all, fulfill one of my “Things to do before I die” list items which is to see a ballgame in every baseball stadium.

I am hoping to find an opportunity to volunteer in New Orleans. The area is still so destroyed and I would like to know how bad it really is. I don’t want to give money, because from the looks of things, the money is not going to the right places. I want to actually DO something.

Then I plan on following my philanthropy up by being a beach bum for a couple of days. I think maybe I will be one in Miami, though my tendency to reflect sunlight like a mirror might have a negative affect on the natives.

I’ll come home, eventually. I bet the time will go by way too fast.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My summer plans


Watch out, America! You are about to be infested by a Bug.


Sunday, June 08, 2008

HI! I'm Buggie and I'll be your server tonight.

I just watched Waiting. Good Lord, watching a movie that was basically my life from ages 18 to 21 was trippy. I know I should not have watched it alone, but jeepers was I ever bored tonight and not inclined enough to more about it than pop in a movie that I knew would at least make me laugh. And now you will have to suffer through some my memories of my days at old Bennyland.

I was trained by Tiki Barber’s wife. Though they had not yet met and really, my training was all of 6.2 seconds. The next day I found myself training people. Yep.

Clussy and I, who often hosted together (much to her chagrin for my penchant of punching her), ate a ton of candy. We’d run across the hall to the movie theater, or through the mall to CVS, for massive amounts of sugar that would probably kill large mammals, but only served to make us more hyper than we were already inclined to be. I would be leading people to their tables, only to turn and find that they could not keep up with my pace and were still standing at the host station wondering where the heck that girl who was going to show them to their table had gone.

We had an intercom and we made it our job to see how often we could get the hostess to page “Ben Dover” or “Amanda Huggenkiss”. This was before Bart Simpson made it popular. (Shut up. I know I am old). And yes, they did get me to page a person who maybe was sitting at the bar. His last name is Hunt. Mike.

Hanging out at Kirk and Pete’s house was always interesting. I remember one night when we were sitting around chatting (how was it that we could be up all night without being exhausted back then?) when Pete and some girl came home. A few hours later the girl left. A few hours after that Pete came upstairs and when we asked who the girl was, he said, what girl?

I wore a short black skirt while working as a cocktail waitress. People were forever flipping up my skirt. I always wore biker shorts underneath (Mama didn’t raise no moron). I wanted a pair that had a pair of lips on the behind. I thought it was appropriate.

A guy caught fire at our bar once. He spilled Bacardi 151 on himself, and then lit a cigarette. His hand went up in flames.

There was a GM who was a complete cocaine fiend (from the rumors). He also looked JUST like a monchichi. However, when he was on the line, the food came flying out, so drug abuse ain’t always bad…

We had a jukebox and I would play Missionary Man by the Eurythmics 6 times in a row. My manager hated the song so much that she would give me the best sections if I promised to not play it that night.

Kim Webster and I played Black Cat by Janet Jackson a lot. But we just wandered about saying Black Cat, Alley Cat, Monkey Cat, Jackass Cat, Drunk Cat…

When I came home from my brief bout of living on the west coast, I was serving this girl who said she worked at Good Guys. Well, Good Guys was like a Best Buy out in California, so I asked her if she got a good discount on electronics, and she said no, and flashed her new nipple ring at me. (Gah!). Apparently Good Guys is a completely different sort of establishment in DC.

I made some of my very best friends at that place and I am forever grateful. Thanks, Bennigan’s. Who’da thunk it?
* The picture is from my photo album from early days at Bennigans. The drawing is of me and two other hostesses. We had a big Snapple banner up. Yeah, anyway. That's a snapshot of the Bennigan's I knew and, er... loved? Aw, you loved it too...them Monte Cristo's, and B. Cakey's, and grilled pineapple slices, and brownie bottom pies, and RCU's, and Dan Diaz. And Harms with her terrifying stories. Good times. Good times.