Quebec - 400 ans! We share a birthday (July 3), but Quebec will always be 365 years older than me! HA!

Bonsoir, mes Amis! Je suis au Quebec (a Quebec?).

It has been pouring and it sucks! But we enjoyed Crepes at the Creperie Marci, Jen and I stood in line for almost exactly five years ago today. We also are spending a gazillion dollars in order to stay at a fancy hotel (Chateau Laurier) because all the hotels were really expensive. Now that we've walked about, we see all sorts of hotels inside Old Quebec that are under $100 and have vacancies. Le sigh.

We are both exhausted. The night at the Super 8 left us tossing and turning and generally suffering from malaise. Tomorrow should be a good touristy day. We are taking a bus tour of old Quebec. Then we will drive to Trois Rivieres. On Monday we head to Ottawa where I will bring my travelling partner to the airport. I think then the vacation part of this journey will be over and the self reflection part begins. Merde, that sounds like work! Though I do get to have a Canadian BBQ with Chris and his crew and spend Canada Day in style. Then I get to hang out with Marci in Chicago. I guess the holiday ain't quite over yet.

I have already spent $500! And my mommy covered the pricey hotel tonight. What will I do when I cannot split the costs anymore? And the hotels seemed to get pricier and pricier. If you guys see me on 20/20 or Dateline, judge ye not!

Don't be a Couche-tard and not leave me any comments!!

A final note: Can someone tell me what these things are? (Oh Canada, you are so old fashioned...)

Day three- Whos and Shakers and money and cows

BLOGGER JUST BLITZED OUT ON ME! Grr, now I have to re-write everything. Mad.

The Ivy League tour continued yesterday at Dartmouth where Theodore Geisel went. He might be better known as Dr. Suess. They have a Dr. Suess study room and everything. My kind of school. We wandered about and I bought a pair of Dartmouth socks. I needed something, but since I graduated from BU, I have this strange loyalty to it and feel like I can no longer wear other school's apparel without misrepresenting myself. A few years ago this would not have affected me at all. So, hence the socks.

We went on to Enfield, NH to see the Shaker village. Our tour guide, Arthur, was this cool old man in blue Converse Chucks (the same ones I have), who gladly told us about the nefarious doings of the Shaker people who could not follow the faith as well as they should have. He told of one man who ran off with a female reporter and how she was accused of kidnapping him. The accuser was then told by the men of the village that he went happily along with her. She did not need to tie him to her car roof.

On the road, we saw a sign for Vermont Maple Syrup. So we stopped and knocked on the accompanying house door and made this woman who lived there sell us her syrup.

We went to Bretton Woods, NH to see where the IMF signed a big treaty in 1944. That is one huge resort!

On the drive towards the Canadian border, we saw a deer and I nearly lost my head. The adrenaline rush made my skin burn. Damn WLM. They are everywhere.

Finally, we had dinner at the Cow Palace. Could not resist that. We drank margaritas and toasted Harmony's birth. Happy birthday, sweetie!

Day two: Mansions and camels and Bears, Oh my!

We actually made it through 8 states yesterday. I forgot to count MA. (VA, MD, DE, NJ, NY, CT, RI, MA). Not too shabby. Today, only 4 (MA, RI, NH, VT). We would not have even made it to Vermont had the hotels in Concord not all been sold out due to some Nascar race. We looked for a town called Keene in New Hampshire, took the correct exit and everything, and wound up...no where... No, seriously. It was spooky. The AAA book said the town was a good sized one. I think that maybe it is a town only people who live there can find, or better, it is only inhabited by ghosts and allows itself living visitors only once a year in order to feast on their souls! We are lucky it did not open itself up to us!!

Today we hopped around Newport and Providence, RI. Both are very pretty towns. We drove around and looked at what too much money brings:This is the Mansion called The Breakers, built by the Vanderbilts in 1895 for lots of cash. It has 70 rooms. Yeah, 'cause that is what you need in a house you only use 10 weeks of the year. But, staring at the myriad of such places is how my mother and I spent out morning. Then we drove to Providence to look at Brown University. I truly believe that we are gaining intelligence by visiting all these Ivy League schools. We saw Harvard in May and now Yale and Brown. Tomorrow we visit Dartmouth. You thought I was smart before (right?).

We had to drive until 9pm to find a hotel which we did, finally, in Vermont. But now it is 10:45. We ate high style from Subway sandwich shop and I have to go to bed. We did drive over 300 miles today, but mostly back and forth. (Damn Keene).

But I did see the Brown Bear and some camels!

Day one: Made it through 7 states!

Yale: There was a lot of driving today. 436.10 miles, to be exact. There was also free iced coffee and good company (my mother is along for the ride, until I get to Ottawa, anyway). We did not get a chance to sightsee much, though we did stop into New Haven and see where Jenny got her PhD. Yale is a beautiful school, though some parts of New Haven did not seem as pretty. We meandered about for a bit, looking for the bulldog statue, then headed off to Rhode Island to enjoy dinner at a restaurant my former boss recommended. The place was packed! It was also delicious. Now I am sitting in a room somewhere in Massachussets, trying to keep my eyes open so I can type this to all of you. I am hoping for more pictures tomorrow, and maybe more interesting tales to tell?
Right now I am waiting to see if Priceline.com will allow me to have room in Canada. Let me check..."We're sorry, but we can't accept your offer of $40 for a hotel room". Darn. (What? I'm cheap). Back to the drawing board for rooms.

I know how Tom Cruise feels... Not that being short is a bad thing.

Part of the reason I want to go on this road trip of mine is to figure out some things about myself. While packing today, I realized that there is one thing I am going to have to quickly come to grips with while I am traveling along. That thing is that I am only 5'5", which is not even short, really. As a matter of fact, the average American female is 5'4". So...I lean towards the taller side of the spectrum, right? (And even though I did believe I was growing a few years ago, which made Marci not even pretend to hide the giggles that exploded out of her when I shared this discovery with her which forced me to measure myself against the wall where I learned that alas, no growth had come from these limbs).

No more wearing these (with long hemmed pants so I look like I am 5'8"):

Because what I packed were these:

Bloods and Crips ain't got nothing on the Woodland Mafia!

I am having all sorts of irrational fears that someone is going to hit my car, or a tree will fall on it during these crazy storms. The other night I was driving down MacArthur Blvd. and had slowed down for some reason. I was glad because up ahead was a gang of deer. NW's branch of the Woodland Mafia. As they stared me down, daring me to do something stupid so they could justify getting me, I trembled in fear and brought the car to a complete stop. They shook their heads as they muttered something like "we thought so". Then they shot me one last glare to keep me terrified as they meandered off to wreak havoc elsewhere. I swear that I am on the hit list!
Is it not enough that I have already been their target 3 times?

1. I was in the back seat of my mother's station wagon with my uncle driving. We had already taken out what I believe was the WL (Woodland) Mafia's sentry (a small furry critter I can only assume may have been an opossum or a raccoon). Then, out of the blue, jumped a deer into the hood of the car and was smashed. Totalled the car. I could see the rest of the WL Mafia high-hoofing each other as their suicide runner completed her mission.

2. I was driving in a rental Cavalier down I95 to visit some friends in NC. I was travelling along at a fair clip as the speed limits are higher there. Suddenly I plowed into a deer. The airbag smashed me in the face and I thought the deer had come through the windshield. I felt for the grassy median under my tires and sputtered to a stop. While I choked through the cornstarch that the airbags release, I hunted down my phone, which had gone flying during the incident. Someone finally stopped and checked on me. I decided that I needed to make sure the gang banger was dead. The front leg was sheared off. I went to look for it (the leg). Need I mention that I was in shock? I stepped on a stick and the terrifying thought that I had indeed found the leg prompted me to stop looking and return to the car. Meanwhile, some boys in a pickem-up truck came by to retrieve the deer for dinner. (Seriously). The tow truck came later to retrieve the dead Cavalier.

3. I was leaving Front Royal and noticed a WLM congregation ahead. I slammed on my brakes, and gently nudged one out of the way. I could see his little deer lips moving, saying "You're a marked woman, Bug. We are gonna git you!"

I really don't want to be gotten by a deer. But you understand my fears, right?

Trip planning books

Travel plans

In two weeks I will be on the road in New England somewhere, sightseeing with my mum who has agreed to join me for the first week of my road trip. After that, I will be joining the Canada Day festivities in the capital of the Great White North. (Though probably not wearing the “Canada: America’s hat” t-shirt I have, for fear of a beat down).

July 2 will see me traversing much roadway as I attempt, in haste, to get to Chicago by noon on July 3. 800 miles, baby! There is some sort of surprise awaiting me at 1pm on July 5, but I don’t know what it is. Can’t wait, though!

After Chicago, I will make my way to Colorado to visit my sister and a myriad of friends I have in that state. My niece’s birthday is in early July, I want to be there for it. After some time in Colorado, I will no longer have a timeline for my visits and can languidly relish the various sights our immense country has to offer.

Some stops along the way:
Victoria, BC. – My dad used to say that this is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. He ought to know. He traveled a bunch!

Puget Sound: I want to see Orcas.

Pike Place market: I wonder if they will let me throw fish for a couple of ducats?

Visiting family in Oregon, friends in CA, TX, FL, NC and VA.

There is a place in San Antonio where some kids in a school bus were hit by a train and the legend is that if you leave your car in neutral in the intersection where the train tracks used to lie, the ghosts of the kids will push your car to safety. I HAVE to check this out!

If I can, I would like to get to a couple of MLB games. I have to, after all, fulfill one of my “Things to do before I die” list items which is to see a ballgame in every baseball stadium.

I am hoping to find an opportunity to volunteer in New Orleans. The area is still so destroyed and I would like to know how bad it really is. I don’t want to give money, because from the looks of things, the money is not going to the right places. I want to actually DO something.

Then I plan on following my philanthropy up by being a beach bum for a couple of days. I think maybe I will be one in Miami, though my tendency to reflect sunlight like a mirror might have a negative affect on the natives.

I’ll come home, eventually. I bet the time will go by way too fast.

My summer plans

Watch out, America! You are about to be infested by a Bug.

HI! I'm Buggie and I'll be your server tonight.

I just watched Waiting. Good Lord, watching a movie that was basically my life from ages 18 to 21 was trippy. I know I should not have watched it alone, but jeepers was I ever bored tonight and not inclined enough to more about it than pop in a movie that I knew would at least make me laugh. And now you will have to suffer through some my memories of my days at old Bennyland.

I was trained by Tiki Barber’s wife. Though they had not yet met and really, my training was all of 6.2 seconds. The next day I found myself training people. Yep.

Clussy and I, who often hosted together (much to her chagrin for my penchant of punching her), ate a ton of candy. We’d run across the hall to the movie theater, or through the mall to CVS, for massive amounts of sugar that would probably kill large mammals, but only served to make us more hyper than we were already inclined to be. I would be leading people to their tables, only to turn and find that they could not keep up with my pace and were still standing at the host station wondering where the heck that girl who was going to show them to their table had gone.

We had an intercom and we made it our job to see how often we could get the hostess to page “Ben Dover” or “Amanda Huggenkiss”. This was before Bart Simpson made it popular. (Shut up. I know I am old). And yes, they did get me to page a person who maybe was sitting at the bar. His last name is Hunt. Mike.

Hanging out at Kirk and Pete’s house was always interesting. I remember one night when we were sitting around chatting (how was it that we could be up all night without being exhausted back then?) when Pete and some girl came home. A few hours later the girl left. A few hours after that Pete came upstairs and when we asked who the girl was, he said, what girl?

I wore a short black skirt while working as a cocktail waitress. People were forever flipping up my skirt. I always wore biker shorts underneath (Mama didn’t raise no moron). I wanted a pair that had a pair of lips on the behind. I thought it was appropriate.

A guy caught fire at our bar once. He spilled Bacardi 151 on himself, and then lit a cigarette. His hand went up in flames.

There was a GM who was a complete cocaine fiend (from the rumors). He also looked JUST like a monchichi. However, when he was on the line, the food came flying out, so drug abuse ain’t always bad…

We had a jukebox and I would play Missionary Man by the Eurythmics 6 times in a row. My manager hated the song so much that she would give me the best sections if I promised to not play it that night.

Kim Webster and I played Black Cat by Janet Jackson a lot. But we just wandered about saying Black Cat, Alley Cat, Monkey Cat, Jackass Cat, Drunk Cat…

When I came home from my brief bout of living on the west coast, I was serving this girl who said she worked at Good Guys. Well, Good Guys was like a Best Buy out in California, so I asked her if she got a good discount on electronics, and she said no, and flashed her new nipple ring at me. (Gah!). Apparently Good Guys is a completely different sort of establishment in DC.

I made some of my very best friends at that place and I am forever grateful. Thanks, Bennigan’s. Who’da thunk it?

* The picture is from my photo album from early days at Bennigans. The drawing is of me and two other hostesses. We had a big Snapple banner up. Yeah, anyway. That's a snapshot of the Bennigan's I knew and, er... loved? Aw, you loved it too...them Monte Cristo's, and B. Cakey's, and grilled pineapple slices, and brownie bottom pies, and RCU's, and Dan Diaz. And Harms with her terrifying stories. Good times. Good times.

So, seen anything good on TV lately? Uh, no. I'm a cultist.

From today's Washington Post: "Just a fraction of the children taken from a polygamist sect's ranch remain in foster care after parents traveled this sprawling state to reunite their families. "

I feel that if the state could take the kids away and put them with foster families, and this action was overturned by the courts, then the state should have to get those kids back to their families. These people should not have to pay to traverse Texas to retrieve what should not, according to the courts, have been taken from them in the first place.

Personally, I think these cults are weird, but it is not my life. If the authorities find that children are being abused then I applaud them for addressing the issue. However, if they merely disagree with the cultists way of living simply because it is not the norm, then they have no business getting involved.

It's complicated, I know. I could argue for and against both sides. But how very American to dictate how people should, and should not, live.