Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

I am not a procrastinator

Today is a very sad day indeed. I have to write three papers on rhetoric. THREE! I suppose I could have started last night. But in the meantime, I did all my laundry, I ironed clothes and a tablecloth, and disinfected the highly questionable area that houses my toolbox and laundry detergent. (That's something I would never have done, were it not for those three papers.) I have also finally uploaded all the photos off of my camera (413, thankyouverymuch) and even sent Marci's birthday ones to the attendees thereof. I have arranged my study area to be conducive to said papers writing and even sorted through all my pants, suits and dresses. I am not a procrastinator. It is just that I am inspired to do a myriad of other things when it comes time to write for school.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Party favors

Clussy's wedding in November will include the following:


All Inclusive Plan: Breakfast, lunch and dinner, 24hour room service, unlimited snacks, unlimited non alcoholic / alcoholic (premium and domestic brands) beverages, daily entertainment, live nightly entertainment, in room mini-bar (restocked daily), all taxes

and gratuities included.


Why do I read it like this? 



daily entertainment, live nightly entertainment in room 

(NICE! Did you plan this, Cluss? What kind of entertainment? Daily AND nightly? Hmm.)

Who's Johnny - El DeBarge

A little flashback never hurt anybody. So, this is for all of you who learned to do a kickass Indian accent because of Short Circuit and to the person that El DeBarge apparently beat up yesterday.

Geez, I loved this song! Look how cute he was. How could any 13 year old girl not dig his big flashlight eyes? Of course I am talking about #5 (who is ALIVE!). (Look at El DeBarge who is a little Sanjaya-like, 'cept he can sing..)


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

In my stars

My horoscope today:
For Wednesday, August 29 - Sometimes a good memory can be a blessing, and sometimes it can be a curse -- like today, when a fading friendship makes you wistful for the way things used to be. On the other hand, there is a new acquaintance in your life, and you should feel happy that you have the time you need to build the relationship -- there is a lot of potential there, and you can sense it. People enter and exit your life, and sometimes exits are for the best. Do not think of ending a relationship as a failure.
My horoscopes are generally eerily accurate. This is no different. I just got to spend some time with a friend I have not seen in about 7 years. We all got together at her house, just like we used to at Harms and Marci's house ever so many years ago. It was so great to get the 5 of us together again and it did make me wistful for times past. 
The ex and I are completely through after giving each other a half hearted re-try. He believed that after 5 years of absolutely corroding any good feelings I had for him, he could just pop his head back in, say sorry, and we'd be like we were when we first met. It did not work that out way, and once he learned that he would actually have to put some effort into it, he gave me the whole "I can't give you what you want" speech. Truthfully, I am glad. He was no good for me. Maybe I was infatuated with him when we met, but it was a long time ago and many things have changed. At least they have changed for me. I am glad I gave it a try, if for nothing else, to know that he is not a part of how I see my future. I don't believe I will ever entertain the notion of "what if" with him. But I thought maybe we could be cordial and after some time had passed, I sent him a text saying best wishes with his job. He responded with an attack about our relationship. So, the friendship is not a part of my future, either. Meh, what can you do? As my horoscope says "sometimes exits are for the best".

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I dunno...

I don't know about Senator Craig's alleged attempt at a sexual tryst with a plainclothes officer in the bathroom of a Minneapolis airport. Read the police report here and tell me if you don't think that the officer may have possibly misconstrued some of the actions, if these actions took place at all.
If he is guilty, then he should be ashamed of himself for trying to get freaky in a public bathroom, 'cause that is just not right. But very honestly, if the chick in the stall next to mine at the Orioles game was sending me some romantical signals, I totally missed them, because I am not loking for that kind of stuff. Actually, truth be told, I had no idea I was supposed to be looking for them. But even so, all I will do now, when I get the under stall hand-swipe signal for some same-sex lovin', is slip some toilet paper into her hand. 
The way the police report is written, it seems like that cop was sitting in that stall, shakin' in his boots at the idea that someone may attempt something lewd with him. Perhaps Craig really does have a wide potty stance. Maybe he was reaching for a piece of paper. Perhaps he does not see very well, and that is why it appeared it was staring into the stall. Besides, what was the cop doing in the stall to make it appear authentic that he was actually performing an act that is an "actual intended use of the restroom"? I bring this up, because those spaces in the door are huge. I can see all sorts of stuff going on when I am hopping from on foot to the other in line for the potty at Carpool. I am not even trying to look.

Crackety crack! Don't talk back!

I went to the chiropractor after work yesterday. Nothing was cracked as my back has been spasming out for the past few days, BUT I was in for a treat. My chiropractor provides a masseuse for therapeutic massage.


I waddled over to her door where I found her snoozing in a chair. I waggled my finger at her and said, "No no, missy. The snoozing' is meant for me!" She opened her eyes unabashedly and told me to get naked. (Now we're talking!). She left the room. I got naked (ish). When she came back, I was halfway to dreamland safely tucked under my sheet. I think it was the Vietnamese music that lulled me. My mom is Vietnamese, you know.


The masseuse came in. I prepared for heaven! Alas, what came next were wild waves of HELL! Using a steamroller, she plowed my back until she found one super sensitive area by my right shoulder that she apparently came to have a violent disagreement with. Next thing I know, they are throwing down, and I am biting the towel that it covering the face rest. Holy smokes! She was trying to see if she could pop my tendons. Each touch forced a wild new expression of pain from me and I lay there, completely contorted. This seemed to go on for hours. Then she pulled my shoulder from its socket and found satisfaction in its helpless cascade of cracks. She moved on to the other side.


I think the masseuse has a thing against angels and I believe I may have been an angel or was on my way to becoming one. The knots she spent so much time obliterating were what I now to believe to have been the delicate buds of my angel wings. ( And girls, we all remember how delicate one must be with little buds…). Now I will never get to fly and it is all her fault. (I am thinking I would have been a Seraphim. They have really big wings).


I believe I may have blacked out from the pain because shortly thereafter it was over and I was free to remove myself from the table. She even left behind a spatula-like devise with which I could unwedge myself, as my pain had forced me to press my full weight into the table. I got up and noticed not only a Bug shaped form in the cushions, but also a hole where I had bitten through the towel. Ouchie!



I can't wait to go back next week!