Some notes

Ok, first off I want to thank you people for coming and looking at my incoherent ramblings over 10,000 times! Yay. I feel popular. I wanted to throw a party for the 10,000th person, but oops. You can all come and hang out with me. I will be at Tallulah's later tonight.

Note to young guy who walked in front of me in the parking lot at work today. Why did you stuff your left trouser pocket so full that you looked and walked like you had a hugenormous tumor on your leg. If you have a tumor, get well soon! He was leaning and hobbling and whistling. Get a man bag... (Don't really, but at least carry some of that crap elsewhere... ) Get a briefcase? Leave some of it at home? So many options. You went for shoving it all in one pants pocket. Great.

Note to guy behind me when I turned my car around in the middle of the street to park facing opposite of the way I had driven in. Pay attention! Cripes, I was waving you to go around me like a lunatic and you were all, blah blah blah to your passenger and I was left to rapidly and aggressively parallel park (which, luckily, I am good at) and masses of cars were building up behind you and they all looked angrily at me once they finally go to go. You suck.

Note to boss who waiting until 4:58 PM to tell me to finish up something that needed to be done by the guy who does our printing... He'd like to go home, too.

Not to tacos that fall apart as soon as I take a bite. Why do you taunt me so with your yummy taste, only to demonstrate yourself to be impossible to eat? And then leave me to stare longingly at your remains.

Note to Cingular: Thanks for the rebate card. I know just what I am going to do with it! off to meet the girls!

Bend me, break me.

When I was about five years old, my uncle came to visit us. He picked me up at my school and took me to the PX. He said I could have anything in the store. My five year old self decided that it needed flexi straws. Not just straws, but flexi ones. I remember that being very important. I think I would have been very disappointed with regular straws. We came home with a box of these delightful straws that had an accordian bend near the top that allowed me to bend the straw in order to better be able to enjoy my beverage from any angle. This might have been exceptionally important due to my lack of stature and the imposing height of the table. Whatever my reasoning was, it was truly the best gift I had ever received.
I could have had anything in that place, and the PX is filled to the brim with goodies. But flexi straws were it for me. Even now, at the ripe age of 32, I feel justified in my choice of flexi straws. What would I chose today, if given the same opportunity? Everything seems so complicated now. I can't imagine being able to make the right choice today. Yet, I know that those straws were the right choice then. Otherwise, how could it still be considered the best gift/choice I ever got/made in my life?
So, are things more complicated now because that is just what happens as we get older? Or do we just forget what it is we really want?

Why does Gwyneth...

keep having babies if she hates them so much? I heard that she wants to name her son "Mortimer". Is the Coldplay guy scared to say something?

Grammar Czar

I believe I am single-handedly recreating the standards for sentence structure, because seriously... see below...

Live nude doggies

I found the cutest website today during a flash of boredom whilst all my floor was in an all-day meeting that, luckily, did not involve me. Alas, it gets really damn boring without them folks around. I would never, not EVER! have thought that! AND I actually found a cute webpage that was not blocked, but probably will be tomorrow, as I appear to be the company's firewall litmus test. I just wanted to see photos (I truly tried spelling that "photoes" - Hello, Buggy Quayle.) of super cute Boston Terriers because - swoon! (Ok, maybe swoon should be saved for Wentworth, but definitely c.u.t.e!)
So, after that long intro, let me introduce you to http://www.littlebeasts.com/ where you can find swell photos (I did it again!) and a live puppy cam. Cutie patootie!
Doesn't someone want to get me a dog and then move in with me to pay for it and take care of it?

I got a new desk

Isn't it fantastic?

The Winners

The Snarkademy Award winners:

Dave was the big winner of the picks. He apparently did not want the prize. I had to chase him down. Hmm, maybe he just did not want photographic proof that he knows me. But you DO know me, fool! And ya lurrve me.

Brian, my movie partner, won for best accessories as he came with a cowboy hat and crunked out teeth. The bling cell phone sold it. Yay, crunked out teeth. (No, he is not wearing them here... tee hee)


Honorable mentions go to:
Accessories

Marci: Most shocking (Paparazzi) She won Aftershock Liquor.

Rachel: sweetest (Brokeback Mountain. She wore a cowboy hat and stolen cowboy boots. Hmm, that's not so sweet, Rachel:) She won a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates.

Here she is with Angel and their goodie bags.

Nick: most rocking. (Johnny Cash) He won a bag of pop rocks.

Least amount of correct Oscar picks
David: He won two blow pops.

I'm smarter in English

I went to Germany in November.
Now, while I have spoken German all of my life, being in the States helps me to lose a lot of vocabulary. I speak to my mum and to people at my church, yet that does not bolster the language as much as if I was, oh I dunno, actually speaking German every day. Besides my mom lets me get away with Engrish. Like in the email I sent her recently: German, German, German, "Actions have consequences" German, German, German. (Because I did not know how to say that in German.)
The first two days in Germany involved me saying a lot of things like "what does that mean?" and "huh?". After a few days of being immersed, I was much more comfortable in speaking. It's just the slang that loses me.
But let me give an example of how I speak German when I am not certain of the words...
Me: It's like that animal with the horns? You know, a male cow.. in a china store.
Them: A Bull?
Me: Seriously? It's bull in German, too? I totally knew that. Shameful.
Let me tell you how frustrating it is to not have a strong grasp of a language! I kept looking at my friends and thinking, I am really not this dumb. You should hear me speak English. I am really smart in English.

Oscar Picks

Actor -- Leading: My pick Philip Seymour Hoffman. He was so consistant in this role and truly seemed to capture all of Capote's Nuances.
Actress -- Leading: I did not get to see all of this films, so I am going to go with Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line, though I do believe Felicity Huffman will get it if not Reese.
Actor -- Supporting: George Clooney for Syriana. I did not see Syriana but he seems like a strong contender. If not him, my second choice is Matt Dillon.
Actress -- Supporting: Frances McDormand. She is fantastic. But second for me here would be Rachel Weisz.
Best Picture: I am hoping Crash will win. It is the only film nominated that is not a period piece. Plus, I think they tackled a difficult subject unflinchingly and made it good. I loved that flick.
Documentary Feature: March of the Penguins
I am bored with this. No more picks. Wish me luck so's I can keep Walk the Line.

prepping for the 2006 Snarkademy Awards

So I am having a few people over to watch the Oscars and maybe got a little carried away with preparations for the 5 people that responded yes to my evite. You can say you saw it first, here!

The most important aspect of any party... THE BAR!

My bar includes:

• Margaritas
• 5 vodkas: Cranberry, Lime, Cherry, Grapefruit and Grey Goose.
• Bacardi
• Lemoncello martinis
• Beer (In the blue cooler thingy)
• Smirnoff ice Raspberry (Also in cooler)
• And desperate for Bloody Mary people (Angel) can have those if they so choose. But I do not have celery, for I hate celery.

A bit overkill for 6 people, doncha think? (Not if you know Marci.)

Please don't judge me on the contents of the shelves behind THE BAR. I have good reasons for all of those films and things. I really do.

Any good Oscar party has Swag bags. These are mine. (So logic dictates that my party is gonna be good!)

The bags contain:

• kiddie party sunglasses because all stars need their shades!
• Kleenex tissues for the inspiring speeches. (Don't forget to thank your spouses!)
• Star Crunch from L'il Debbie. Get it? STAR crunch. I ate a bunch of those yesterday. Still as good as they were 20 years ago. (Damn, 20 years, really?)
• Star ornament because it is pretty.
• Jones Soda in Berry lemonade because new stuff is always in swag bags to publicize it.
• Mini popcorn bag (Act II). Do I really need to say why? C'mon!
• Colored stars like we got for doing good stuff when we were little. Cause they are cool.
• MADD ribbon because I am supplying a lot of booze and I want everyone safe. Besides every goodie bag always has some flyer or something from some do-good organization.

The Prizes:

The person who gets the most Oscar picks right wins a DVD of Walk the Line. The person who gets the least will get the two Super Blow Pops.

I wanted people to come wearing some sort of prop that is inspired by a nominated film. Best one there gets Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood" novel. The sweetest accessory gets a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates. The most rocking gets Pop Rocks. (Don't eat 'em with soda pop!) The most shocking will receive a teeny bottle of After Shock Liquor. Yuck.

If no one come accessorized, I WIN!

My Oscar picks coming up before 5pm.

People who should send me free stuff:

1. Kleenex
2. Jones Soda
3. Pop Rocks
4. After Shock liquor
5. Truman Capote
6. Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix
7. Act II popocorn
8. Little Debbie
9. MADD
10. Ghirardelli
11. Blow Pops
12. Grey Goose
13. Any vodka maker.
14. You, for getting to read this. Email me, I will send you an address to ship stuff to.

What I did today instead of my homework.

I spent the whole doing anything but what I blew two people off for. I did no homework. None. What I did do includes the following:

I caught up on people's blogs.

I watched some tv. I also watched Pride and Prejudice. Another Oscar nom. before the big show tomorrow night!

I did some laundry. Have not put any of it away yet. Lazy!

It's been a rough day. Mac and Cheese comfort food!

Rice Krispy treats for my guests for the Oscars. At least I got SOMETHING done that I needed to do. Jeepers. AND I have managed to keep from eating them so far.

Other things I have done:

• rinsed my mouth (my toothless gaps) out several times.
• Watched the finale of Celebrity fit club. Them folks still be fat.
• Had a concert where I was the star. I totally rocked!
• Put together some goody bags.
• Lounged about feeling lazy. Not good.

Things I did not do:

• Get dressed completely. Still in my pj pants.
• Shower..
• leave my house
• DO MY 3 FREAKIN' RESEARCH PAPERS (that are due on Monday whether I laze about all day or not. ARGH!!!!)
  

My new last name.

I want to marry* this guy because I want his last name.

Love, Buggie Birbiglia.

*I don't really want to marry him. Even though he is very funny.