Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Dear Dairy Queen

Thank you for placing your restrooms right by the entrance in an area that is unpopulated by enjoyers of your brazier treats. The fact that it is also an area that is our of sight of your staff is great, too. I appreciate this for I have found myself designating your establishment as my bathroom of choice on this road trip of mine. Not only are you located on every main street in North America, your facilities are fairly clean.
Please know that when I come hobbling in, due to the fact that I wait until the absolute last minute to stop, I do have intentions of rewarding myself with a delicious frozen treat. However, once I have taken care of business, I find that I just want to leave and hit the road again. I do not know what you could do to change this.
Today I stood in line, but the girl behind the counter was really quite slow and there was a twisting queue of anxious pre-pubescents hovering behind me and which made me start to feel like a caged animal. There is not much you can do about that.
I do have one request, and it does have to do with your products, and not your restroom. I would like kiddie size versions of the Blizzard. At home, when I used to get these trough sized delights, I would freeze the leftover and live off of it for a month. Unfortunately, while staying the C'mon Inn's and the like, I do not have a freezer. I do not want to be a wasteful traveler.
I also understand the issues with a small size and the machine that whips the Blizzard together. Still, I plead of you, a 4 ounce serving would be splendid and I would be far more apt to buy it once I have washed my hands.

Very respectfully yours,
Bug E. Bugger

Catching up

Before I got to my aunt's house in Portland, I went to the Wolf Haven in Washington State. There I got to admire wolves who had been given to the haven because of closed zoos and people who opted to get them as pets until the animals turned on them. I was there by myself with a family of a boyfriend/girlfriend and their two children. This tattoed man would not shut up. He kept talking about his shepherd and asking questions about who people get wolves and which dog breeds get bred to make wolf hybrids. I foresee a new wolf in the haven in a few years.
After leaving, I was driving on the highway by the haven and had to slam on my breaks brakes (sigh. Why am I becoming dumber on this trip?). There was a black wolf on the street. Hmm. Aren't they supposed to be preserving the lives of wolves? Or maybe that wolf was just there to visit?

Yesterday I drove along the Oregon coast. It sure is cold out here. I have had to wear a jacket for a good portion of my trip. (Even so, my arms are brown and the rest of me is whiiiiite. I am going to look weird in a swimsuit). I went up to a lighthouse (my second of the trip. The first was at Navy Pier in Chicago) and met a couple from Vancouver. They were so great that I forced them to let me tag along with them. They told me they would be dune buggying and then I wanted to do that too. The coast has a ton of dunes and so I am going to attempt to go dune buggying and sand surfing today. Wooooooooo!

I also went to the Sea Lion Caves. Stinky.

To truly appreciate this picture, grab a dirty, wet dog and rub some fertilizer on him. Hold him under your nose while sitting in the freezer. Have all the neighborhood dogs growl and bark at you and then you can get a feeling for being by the sea lions.

I will be in California tonight, unless of course my natural talent for sand surfing comes to light and I am signed to a national contract and have to quickly get to China to represent my country.

Happy 8/08/08! It should be a lucky day! Are you feeling lucky? Well, are ya, punk?

Thursday, August 07, 2008

My week in the City of Roses

Well, it is hard to believe it was a week ago that I arrived on my aunt's doorstep. I suppose it is time to move along. I will be leaving this wonderful company tomorrow morning. In the meantime, this is what I was doing while you were all slaving away at your desks, earning money (can you send me some? Kidding...sort of...)
  • I went to my uncle's ranch. He has a bazillion acres of land and 2000 cattle (while I was there, though he sold some in the meantime). He has a bunch of beautiful ponds, most of which he established himself, (that is Mt. Hood in the background) on his property along with a gorgeous canyon that I think was made by God.

  • I tried my first huckleberry pie. Good mamba jamba. That is one good pie!
  • I picked blueberries (4.5 pounds) and probably only ate .5 lbs while doing so.
  • I got to meet and get to know two of my cousins and their families. Boy, I fit right in, here. They look just like me. (Or I like them? Whatever, they are simply stunning ladies.)
  • I went to see my Godfather and my aunt. I learned a new trick of making little slices into steak and stuffing garlic into the pockets made, then grilling the meat. Delish!
  • While at their house, I got to see another cousin I have not seen since I was 8. She looks like me a bit, too. They all stared at me for a while, though, because apparently the resemblance between me and my cousin Marci (Yes, her name is Marci. Hey, Baby Bananas: is my trip with all my new people with "Marci/a" names freaking you out or what??? It's crazy, ain't it?) is remarkable. Neat, I think. I look nothing like my mom's side of the family. My sister and my brother do. I like finding a place where my face fits in.

  • I went to the Oregon coast and shopping in Portland. (How come the Oregonians go to the coast and we go to the beach?)

  • I had dinner at one cousin's house and blueberry pie at my dopplegaengers. (Both super yummy and their kids are beyond fantastic.)

When I was little, people always told me I am similar to my aunt. After spending this week with her, the commonalities are overwhelming. We say the same things at the same time. We like the same things. We react the same way and even choose the same meals, the same gifts. It's weird, but oh so great and I am so very grateful to have gotten to spend this time getting to know her (and all the others I met this week). It has been wonderful and it will be hard driving away.


California or bust!