Ew

Last night I had a really difficult time finding my fancy hotel. I should have considered that an omen. I got into my room and it had that funny aura of not being completely clean, but I had already brought all my crap into the room which meant that I had no real interest in repacking and complaining and having to move. Perhaps if I had a crew, or the hotel did in case of such emergencies... Not even when I noticed something floating around in the toilet did I pack up and leave. (I have lost my shimmer). I spent some time pondering the floater. It looked like a cigarette but without a filter. It was so curious. Only about 1/2 an inch long, it was burnt at one end and looking like a new cigarette tip on the other. Weed? Were people smoking weed in my non smoking room, while they were cleaning it for my messing up pleasure? Then I got to thinking that smoking weed while cleaning would probably be more fun than not smoking weed while cleaning which then made me come to the realization that the reason I don't clean is because I don't smoke weed.
I looked closer, and it did not make sense that the burnt end was twisted. What the heck was that thing? I flushed him to hell and HE STAYED IN THE BOWL! Get away from me, I screamed. Then I took all the towels (were they clean!?!??!!?) and placed them all over the floor in my walking path. I took saniwipes and rubbed down the remote control. They came away cruddy. (I was going to say smeary, but that was too gross even for me!). But I needed to watch TV so I went and washed my hands (again!) and wrapped the remote in a saniwipe.
I watched TV and found I could not sleep in my (is it clean!?!?!??!?) bed. Besides, there were constantly shadows outside my door and it scared me.
This morning I awoke to find that I could not take a shower. The water would turn on, but that's it. No temperature manipulation there. Grr. By this point every towel has been used to keep from touching any surface. I went to get my free breakfast and I missed it. So I sat in my room and ate food from my cooler.

Tonight is no better. I feel dirty just sitting in this room. (And not dirrty either). I am finding wee little dead bugs everywhere. But I am again too lazy to deal with it which means another room with towels covering everything and my inability to sleep because I am afraid the living bugs will come and exact revenge on my for what my cat does to their friends. But I am BUG! I am your leader.