Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Thursday, April 26, 2012


I don't feel good. I headed home from school today in a crummy mood, of which I lay the sole blame on the fact that the class I was supposed to teach at AU was canceled today. But I listened to XM Radio's comedy channels and giggled my way through the comic stylings of Caroline Rhea and Russell Peters. Then I turned it off and the bad mood was back. Got home, and flailed my angry little self onto the sofa and took a nap. Now I feel pukey and sad. My tummy is rumbley*. Bill is sitting at my side like a good little sentry, which makes me nervous because you hear about the cats that are like little harbingers of death... Does he know something I don't? 

I bought milk at Safeway the other day and the carton top was open a little. Not so much that the milk was exposed in any way, rather that someone grabbed it and it came undone a bit. I bought it anyway. I am fearless that way. I even joked with the cashier that if she hears about my untimely death, she can know to alert the proper authorities.

I had some of the milk with my delicious cereal yesterday. Then I felt funny last night, but it passed. Now, as I sit feeling sorry for myself on my big yellow couch (that happens to coordinate delightfully with my orange cat), I'm blaming the milk. Because I can't think of anything else. I'm scared of the milk.

I don't feel good. Make Bill stop staring at me. 

*I know it's not a word, but I like the way it sounds and it goes with my title.
RUMBLEY: candidate for Merriam-Webster 2013!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

TSA: Totally Stupid Asshats

Dear TSA,

What is up? I am going to give you a D. (That's right, since I am officially an adjunct professor at the American University, I can grade you. I am allowed).

So, I was just perusing headlines, as I am apt to do when more pressing things are to be avoided, and I noticed two recent TSA articles. Not good ones, either. One, you pat down a 4 year old girl, after she'd already successfully passed through your inspection. Yes, she ran and hugged her not-yet-passed-through-security grandma, but trying to take the tyke into a private room without her parents? Not okay. Not cool to yell at a wee one that you will shut down the whole airport if she doesn't acquiesce. Oh, sorry. That means comply. Oh, sorry. That means agree to do as you wish. Are you getting mad? Because I am talking down to you? Well, you don't act like adults.

You act like drug traffickers. The TSA says they don't know of other cases like this recent one in LA, but you know they are happening. But I don't want to be a speculator, so I decided to type "TSA" into http://news.google.com/. I'm just going to post a couple of headlines.

7-Year-Old With Cerebral Palsy Gets Rigorous TSA Pat-Down; Family Misses Flight Over Incident

TSA collects $409,000 in change lost during security screenings

TSA delays background checks for new hires

Okay, wait. They don't know how to deal with a little girl with metal braces. Fine. They don't know how to deal with anyone. I'm sure you guys have heard the horror stories involving the TSA and the elderly, what with their bomb concealing Depends, and colostomy bags. But they have collected $409K??? And they can't afford to do background checks? And, that's not even what REALLY gets my goat. TSA agents can go to second base (First base? I'm still not clear on bases here... My bases are wayyy more innocent than the bases of my friends) on a little kid, but the TSA is not concerned about where those TSA agent's hands had previously been? What the what?

I generally choose to fly out of Washington National (or to the people who are visiting: Reagan National), and we have a pretty solid set of TSA agents. At least insofar as what I have experienced. (Just wanted to not throw my peeps under the bus. You guys are cool in my book. But ONLY DCA staff!)

I gave you a D because I think you can bring your grade up. In fact I demand it. We all demand it.

Even Kip Hawley, the guy who used to run TSA (2005-2009) admits it is broken. He concedes that the terrorists are adaptive. So TSA needs to be adaptive, too. But they're not. They are blindly following a list of requirements that don't do much to protect the American people when they fly. There is no logic. No common sense. And that's the scariest part for me. We are being regulated by a group of people with too much power and no common sense.

Come on America! We can do better than this!

Oh, and since you read all the way down to the bottom here, I shall leave you with this. Fat cat gets TSA pat-down.

Seriously, TSA? Seriously?