Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

TSA: Totally Stupid Asshats

Dear TSA,

What is up? I am going to give you a D. (That's right, since I am officially an adjunct professor at the American University, I can grade you. I am allowed).

So, I was just perusing headlines, as I am apt to do when more pressing things are to be avoided, and I noticed two recent TSA articles. Not good ones, either. One, you pat down a 4 year old girl, after she'd already successfully passed through your inspection. Yes, she ran and hugged her not-yet-passed-through-security grandma, but trying to take the tyke into a private room without her parents? Not okay. Not cool to yell at a wee one that you will shut down the whole airport if she doesn't acquiesce. Oh, sorry. That means comply. Oh, sorry. That means agree to do as you wish. Are you getting mad? Because I am talking down to you? Well, you don't act like adults.

You act like drug traffickers. The TSA says they don't know of other cases like this recent one in LA, but you know they are happening. But I don't want to be a speculator, so I decided to type "TSA" into http://news.google.com/. I'm just going to post a couple of headlines.


7-Year-Old With Cerebral Palsy Gets Rigorous TSA Pat-Down; Family Misses Flight Over Incident


TSA collects $409,000 in change lost during security screenings


TSA delays background checks for new hires

Okay, wait. They don't know how to deal with a little girl with metal braces. Fine. They don't know how to deal with anyone. I'm sure you guys have heard the horror stories involving the TSA and the elderly, what with their bomb concealing Depends, and colostomy bags. But they have collected $409K??? And they can't afford to do background checks? And, that's not even what REALLY gets my goat. TSA agents can go to second base (First base? I'm still not clear on bases here... My bases are wayyy more innocent than the bases of my friends) on a little kid, but the TSA is not concerned about where those TSA agent's hands had previously been? What the what?

I generally choose to fly out of Washington National (or to the people who are visiting: Reagan National), and we have a pretty solid set of TSA agents. At least insofar as what I have experienced. (Just wanted to not throw my peeps under the bus. You guys are cool in my book. But ONLY DCA staff!)

I gave you a D because I think you can bring your grade up. In fact I demand it. We all demand it.

Even Kip Hawley, the guy who used to run TSA (2005-2009) admits it is broken. He concedes that the terrorists are adaptive. So TSA needs to be adaptive, too. But they're not. They are blindly following a list of requirements that don't do much to protect the American people when they fly. There is no logic. No common sense. And that's the scariest part for me. We are being regulated by a group of people with too much power and no common sense.

Come on America! We can do better than this!




Oh, and since you read all the way down to the bottom here, I shall leave you with this. Fat cat gets TSA pat-down.

Seriously, TSA? Seriously?

3 Comments:

Blogger Here'sJeff said...

Asshats extraordinaire for certain –

I went on a family camping trip in early April 2012. I empty my office gear from the Swiss backpack (same one everyone has these days) and fill it with camping gear – off I go. Reverse process upon return. Well yesterday (June 20, 2012), I take some time to empty the backup / and clean it up. What do I find? A bic lighter in the top pocket – YES a lighter used to start the camp fire. The same kind you might use to light that fuse sticking out of your shoe or underwear. I’m a fairly frequent flyer and the bag has gone through Charlotte, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Norfolk, and Knoxville security with the lighter in it. NOT ONE PEEP from the thousands standing around. Hard to believe all of them can be this useless, but true. Feel safe, secure and know that the TSA is putting your tax dollars to good use. Asshat story #1

Traveled with a roll-aboard for a while (normally carry suit bag only) because of collateral and other paper I needed to carry. After more than a few trips, I emptied it and found two travel size shaving creams in there. TSA never found them. True they are 2oz and “Legal”, but they were never in a plastic bag and always went through the x-ray inside the suitcase! Now, what can two metal cylinders side by side look like on an x-ray? How hard can this be to pick out!!?? Doesn’t it look like a freakin pipe bomb? The Swiss bag with the lighter in it closely followed. It went through pretty much the same list of airports as above. It’s dumb, dumber, and dumbest running security. Just go with the odds that you’re more likely to be struck by lightening than end up in a terrorist attack. It’s much more comforting to fly knowing this fact. Asshat story #2

While Asshat #1 and Asshat #2 stories are occurring, I’m in Baltimore (BWI) going through security, waiting for my carefully screened bags to come out. Two agents there are standing in the security area – suppose to be doing something I assume – arguing over who is the “Lead Agent!” A girl in her mid 20’s with a nice neck tattoo, using her best eighth grade ebonics (for your info she was white) telling some older guy with a gray beard that he’s an asshole and she’s the lead! It was quite hilarious. I couldn’t see that girl leading third shift french fryer at McDonald’s. I so wanted to say something, but so wanted a beer and to be on my plane heading home much more. I need to schedule more time between meetings and flights. We’ll call these two Asshats #3 and #4. The guy finally won by pointing out the multiple people staring at them and overhearing the ridiculous and ghetto profanity laced exchange. Of course, they were completely ignoring any type of security duties during this time. You know, like clearing bins off the end of the belt.

6/23/2012 01:24:00 AM  
Blogger Martin Grosz said...

Totally Screwing America??

7/18/2012 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Martin Grosz said...

TSA: Tyranically Screwing America?

7/18/2012 12:47:00 PM  

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