Pouring rain at the boring Oscars. I'm imploring exploring some changes.

A friend of mine grumbled about the boring Oscars on FB yesterday. I took umbrage, partially because of the wine and partially because C’MON! It’s the Academy Awards!! I want to be there someday. And Patricia Arquette won! And Idina Menzel got to be facially molested by a very creepy John Travolta. (What the heck happened to him? Was he always this way? Is he medicated? Is his toupee too tight?) Idina looked gorgeous, by the way, though I am not certain about the hairstyle. But that dress! And boy, she just nailed it and handled the molestation with grace. J’adore.

Then they topped it all off with the queen of the world, JULIE ANDREWS, who at almost 80 looks better than I do now at the ripe age of, uh, 22. Yeah, 22. So, yeah, I was high on the sightings of these beautiful, strong women that I admire.

The Everything is Awesome song from the Lego Movie (snubbed for best animated picture) was performed in a most fun manner. Then Glory from Selma brought tears from everyone, myself included. (I then proceeded to watch it 2 more times, backing up my Oscar viewing pleasure and making me learn that Dame Jules was coming from my Twitter feed. Totes worth it.) Also, how hot was Chris Pine with a teary face? I never felt it for him before, but…

And David Oyelowo! I saw him on a talk show a while back, and he was hilarious and smart. But after the great glimpses of his heart and his goofiness after the show, I love him!! I HAVE to see Selma. 

My predictions were fairly good. I am surprised at Eddie Redmayne’s win, but not upset. His speech made me think that a show about his tending to his Oscar would be like Ted, only British. Also, did I mention that Patty won??? I think I will talk about her speech in another entry. Everyone’s speeches promoted awareness, strength, inclusion, and equality. What’s not to love?

But yeah, the show was otherwise boring. NPH did not bring it, unfortunately. Though the opening song was great. And can we please enough with the generalizing of women already? Yes, fashion is an industry and okay, you can ask who they are wearing, but let’s not pan their bodies and tell them how pretty they look. Let’s talk about the emotional choices they made as their characters. Let’s talk about what’s in their heads as opposed to how fabulous their nails look. Talk to them the way you talk to the guys. Jeepers.

The Year of the Meta Film

In a few short hours, I will be donning my finest sweatpants, cracking open a bottle of the best $12 wine, and commenting wildly on the shenanigans that are your 

87TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS!

Just for the record, I am rooting for Inherent Vice to win anything and everything as my friend Michael Cotter is in it and that makes it fabulous.

The year in Memoriam is going to be horribly sad this year. We lost so many wonderfully talented people in 2014. 

I am ashamed to admit that I did not do well on actually seeing a lot of the nominated films and this is truly tragic as I think only 6 films were nominated for EVERYTHING. Still, I read EW, People, and assorted other magazines, and my level of television watching is Ph.D worthy, so I have an opinion.

For complete transparency, these are the films I have watched:

• Birdman
• The Imitation Game
• Boyhood
• Gone Girl
• Guardians of the Galaxy
• The Boxtrolls
• Virunga
• Maleficent
• Intersteller
• Ida

I rented The Theory of Everything, but Comcast decided to wig out because of the massive snow storm we got, so the picture was pixelated and annoying and I couldn't watch it. I proceeded to continue to indulge my Patricia Arquette addiction brought on by Boyhood, and watched Beyond Rangoon, instead. 

I claim to be a screenwriter, right? (Write). So let's begin with the screenplays. 

Original Screenplay

Should be won by Birdman. Though the story was not necessarily something new, the ending really made me think and analyze and extend my experience with the film by reading up on it. 

Adapted Screenplay

I don't understand why Whiplash is in this category. It was originally a feature script that went nowhere, so it was rewritten as a short which then caught attention enough to shoot the feature. 

I actually think that The Imitation Game should win. I read the book and love what they did with the film. 

-----Skipping the boring (read I dunno who should win) categories-----

Best Documentary

I only saw Virunga and I was enthralled. It's heartbreaking to see what they are doing and man, you all know how devastated I get by the maltreatment of animals. But I have no idea about the other films in this category. 

Achievement in Directing

I'm going to guess that Rick Linklater gets this. To be able to corral these actors year after year, when they are busy living their own lives, playing other characters, and get them back on track and make this film is a miraculous feat. Also, it makes me want to work with him because heck, if you return for 12 years, you like working together. 

Achievement in Cinematography

Birdman. Those scenes were tough to shoot, beautiful, and creative. 

Animated Film

I wanted to see Big Hero 6 and Boxtrolls. I really wanted the story in Boxtrolls to be better. But the stop action animation is cool. I have no idea. Going with Big hero 6... I think. 

Supporting Actor

J. K. Simmons. He's magic. No one else could have played this role.  (That's always my criteria for these awards. If anyone else could have played the role as well as the actor who did, then no prize for you.)

Supporting Actress

PATTY!!!!!! They should have called the film Motherhood. It was all her. The movie was carried by Patricia Arquette. The sadness, the heart, and life (literally) came from Olivia. Plus, watching this film sent me on a crazy Patricia Arquette filmography viewing. I will be waiting for this moment for the whole awards show. 

Lead Actor

This is actually a fairly rich group of nominees. I love Steve Carell in deeper roles. He's such a good actor and we miss out when Hollywood doesn't allow him characters that have range. 

I love Michael Keaton. I harbor a minor crush. But I could have seen this role played by other actors. I would have liked to see a little more vulnerability from him. There were great scenes and I'll admit that I saw this film whilst insanely hungover, so I don't stand 100% behind what I say here, but I want more for the Academy Award. 

Eddie Redmayne pulled off an incredibly difficult role and he had me believing him (in the ten minutes of the flick that I was able to see). But he's young and the politics of the Oscars might not allow him to win. 

I think Michael Keaton will win. It's his first nomination, and he won the Golden Globe. 

Lead Actress

Julianne Moore will win. She has no Oscar and she's due. I have not seen the film, but I hear she's magnificent. Plus, she is a glorious actress. She should have won for Children of Men. Hey, did you know Chiwetel Ejiofor is in that film? Go watch it. It is so good. 

Best Picture

I don't know what to make of the Selma controversy because I have not seen the film. But the previews look amazing and I do feel they were cheated. But again, the politics of the Awards are immense and if they did not get their films to the voters in time, that would have hurt them. That said, I don't think the film will win. 

I think Imitation Game should win. Though I cracked the Enigma code within 10 minutes of the film. Obviously every transmission is going to have "Heil Hitler" in it, right? Anyhoo, I may be biased because I was at TIFF, and this film won. And I enjoy films and books about WW2. But I thought it was a great film and my dearth of true knowledge of most of the nominated films keeps me from being able to make a truly educated guess. Also, I am too lazy to check who won all of the big awards. 

I think Boyhood could win, but as much as I want all success for my new bestie, Patty Arquette, I feel like Linklater had 12 years to write a better and more engaging script. 

I cannot root for American Sniper, because I feel like the film I worked on, Fort Bliss (which you can now watch streaming on Netflix), was a better depiction of army life. Michelle Monaghan was so good, she truly deserved to be on the award radar. 

May the countdown begin!

KICK ASS, PATRICIA ARQUETTE!!!