Get down, get down...
Constantine: You can’t dance. I wish that you would not try. Are you wearing eyeliner? I don’t like your vibrato, or that baby fetus butt of a chin you’ve got. But you have a lot of energy.
I have the feeling Constantine is going to end up being that swarmy uncle at the family reunion in 30 years that makes eyes at all the young girls, even the ones related to him. “Come sit on my knee. Touch my gray chest hairs.” Ew. He moves like he’s a girl who is trying to be hot. The fat girls in the audience dig him. Good lord! Where does that zipper on his pants end? Disturbing.
You know what bugs me the most? It’s that he is one of the people who stands next to Ryan Seacrest holding up the number of fingers to demonstrate what number you should call. I hate that. That’s one of the many reasons I dislike Anthony so much. (Waving 2 fingers, mouthing “Two, pick two! That’s me! WOOOOO” Argh.)
I think he will finish 4th.
Carrie, Carrie, Carrie: I heard someone compare you to a white Kelly Clarkson. Ha. That’s a good one. It’s funny because it’s true. Now, Carrie. Who does that to your hair? It’s like they crimp the root and poodle-ize the rest. When Carrie sings, she throws a come hither look at the camera. It’s a bit off-putting. And she walks funny. It’s a dancey-walk, or are those shoes just really uncomfortable? (Wonder what their wardrobe allowance is?)
Did not really like her choice of song. There are so many better songs, especially by Donna Summer. But, Carrie can sing, and she is sooo cute. (The fat girls love her, too.) Simon says her look is Barbie meets the Stepford Wives. Truly! But Oklahoma is not the Okla-home-a to high fashion. (I am brilliant!) It’s not even a neighbor, I guess.
Carrie will win!
Scott Savol: sings every song exactly the same way. Hey, Scott! Is it illegal to tuck in your shirt? I think he has his pajama’s on. Maybe he is really tired. Rough week, you know? This way he can sing and then go climb into bed. He has Monchichi hair. He is an arrogant &*^*er. I hate how he looks down his ugly nose at everything. Such an ass. G’bye! (Simon’s keepin’ it real. Heh…Scott is very “urban” and Simon is not. That’s why that is funny) The fat girls don’t dig Scott.
I pick him to go next. (Alas, he did not go next. Anwar went next. Who is voting for this guy? He sucks!)
Paula’s hair has wings!!
Anthony Fed: makes me uncomfortable. All the boys, due to the 70’s style of music they are being forced to sing, have their shirts open to their belly buttons to expose their chest hairs (or lack thereof). Maybe Anthony should be wearing makeup. It might make him look more normal. Is his head too big? What is it about him that makes him look so weird? Is that a key around his neck? Key to his locker? Hotel room? Ford Focus? Paula’s heart?
Simon called him insipid and Paula said “Whatever” --- because she does not know what that means. What is wrong with Paula’s hairline? Anthony is a dork. G’bye!
He should finish 6th. (Though with Scott still here, maybe Anthony should be 5th and Scott sixth.) This whole Anwar being sent home thing before I finished writing this commentary, has really screwed me up!
Vonzell: Aw, she sang Chaka Khan. Marci loves Chaka Khan. Hee hee. Vonzell is starting to figure it out. She picks songs that people recognize and get fired up about. Good for you, Von. I’m starting to root for you. She is not the best singer, but you just like her. Paula is now dancing on the table. Has she lost her mind?
She will finish 3rd.
Anwar: He could have come from the 70’s. He looks like it. Another massive misbuttoning of the shirt. Hmm, male cleavage? Anwar has lots of energy, yet these translate into some peculiar Beyonce-like violent shoulder thrusts. (Yikes!) Paula is ripping her clothes off. She’s creepy. Her hairline looks like it’s molding.
I think he will finish 5th. Oops. No he won’t. He is officially out at number 7.
Bo Bice: He has some huge nostrils. Wonder if Prell has approached him to do commercials for them? No chest visibility! Yay! He rocks. I still like him. I want him to grow mutton chops.
He will finish 2nd.
No one sang Jungle Boogie. Ya’ll suck!
I have the feeling Constantine is going to end up being that swarmy uncle at the family reunion in 30 years that makes eyes at all the young girls, even the ones related to him. “Come sit on my knee. Touch my gray chest hairs.” Ew. He moves like he’s a girl who is trying to be hot. The fat girls in the audience dig him. Good lord! Where does that zipper on his pants end? Disturbing.
You know what bugs me the most? It’s that he is one of the people who stands next to Ryan Seacrest holding up the number of fingers to demonstrate what number you should call. I hate that. That’s one of the many reasons I dislike Anthony so much. (Waving 2 fingers, mouthing “Two, pick two! That’s me! WOOOOO” Argh.)
I think he will finish 4th.
Carrie, Carrie, Carrie: I heard someone compare you to a white Kelly Clarkson. Ha. That’s a good one. It’s funny because it’s true. Now, Carrie. Who does that to your hair? It’s like they crimp the root and poodle-ize the rest. When Carrie sings, she throws a come hither look at the camera. It’s a bit off-putting. And she walks funny. It’s a dancey-walk, or are those shoes just really uncomfortable? (Wonder what their wardrobe allowance is?)
Did not really like her choice of song. There are so many better songs, especially by Donna Summer. But, Carrie can sing, and she is sooo cute. (The fat girls love her, too.) Simon says her look is Barbie meets the Stepford Wives. Truly! But Oklahoma is not the Okla-home-a to high fashion. (I am brilliant!) It’s not even a neighbor, I guess.
Carrie will win!
Scott Savol: sings every song exactly the same way. Hey, Scott! Is it illegal to tuck in your shirt? I think he has his pajama’s on. Maybe he is really tired. Rough week, you know? This way he can sing and then go climb into bed. He has Monchichi hair. He is an arrogant &*^*er. I hate how he looks down his ugly nose at everything. Such an ass. G’bye! (Simon’s keepin’ it real. Heh…Scott is very “urban” and Simon is not. That’s why that is funny) The fat girls don’t dig Scott.
I pick him to go next. (Alas, he did not go next. Anwar went next. Who is voting for this guy? He sucks!)
Paula’s hair has wings!!
Anthony Fed: makes me uncomfortable. All the boys, due to the 70’s style of music they are being forced to sing, have their shirts open to their belly buttons to expose their chest hairs (or lack thereof). Maybe Anthony should be wearing makeup. It might make him look more normal. Is his head too big? What is it about him that makes him look so weird? Is that a key around his neck? Key to his locker? Hotel room? Ford Focus? Paula’s heart?
Simon called him insipid and Paula said “Whatever” --- because she does not know what that means. What is wrong with Paula’s hairline? Anthony is a dork. G’bye!
He should finish 6th. (Though with Scott still here, maybe Anthony should be 5th and Scott sixth.) This whole Anwar being sent home thing before I finished writing this commentary, has really screwed me up!
Vonzell: Aw, she sang Chaka Khan. Marci loves Chaka Khan. Hee hee. Vonzell is starting to figure it out. She picks songs that people recognize and get fired up about. Good for you, Von. I’m starting to root for you. She is not the best singer, but you just like her. Paula is now dancing on the table. Has she lost her mind?
She will finish 3rd.
Anwar: He could have come from the 70’s. He looks like it. Another massive misbuttoning of the shirt. Hmm, male cleavage? Anwar has lots of energy, yet these translate into some peculiar Beyonce-like violent shoulder thrusts. (Yikes!) Paula is ripping her clothes off. She’s creepy. Her hairline looks like it’s molding.
I think he will finish 5th. Oops. No he won’t. He is officially out at number 7.
Bo Bice: He has some huge nostrils. Wonder if Prell has approached him to do commercials for them? No chest visibility! Yay! He rocks. I still like him. I want him to grow mutton chops.
He will finish 2nd.
No one sang Jungle Boogie. Ya’ll suck!
Buggie spilled her guts for you at 4/25/2005 07:44:00 PM
2 Comments:
Did Vonzell at least sing the "Chaka Khan Chaka Khan" song? Cuz, Chaka don't sing it that's for sure!
Humph!
-M
I also love how some of the contestants start to seriously gain weight being on that show. Anthony was a skinny-ass throat-ailment survivin' pipsqueak during the auditions and now it looks like he's been haning out with Scott at the Chow line. Meow! I'm a Bo Bice fan, but dammit please cut your hair! I'm thinking it's Bo and Vonzell in the finals. Also, I saw on one show that the clothing allowance is $450 per week. I love your comments about Constantine. I think he'll also be the guy we see singing out at some 40 person maximum club in Springfield some day...
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