But there will always be Simon.

The guy (Jaded Journalist) who writes the American Idol recaps on http://www.idolonfox.com/, while funny, is very slow to update his page. I want to make comments on the final 10 members of the elite crew aiming to become “Our Next American Idol!” Be aware that most are going to be nasty, but I don’t care. I am not in the mood to be a kind person. Besides, I think if you go on a show like American Idol, you have to expect people to be critiquing every aspect of you. (Forgive me; I am a bit moody today. I may feel bad about being a jackass later, but I am not going to think about that now.)
Let’s start out alphabetically by their first names.

Anthony Federov: The Ukrainian throat operation survivor. He needs a haircut, or at least some product in his hair. That weird cherubic hairstyle did not look good on the yuppies in the 80’s when it was considered fashionable and it certainly does not look good on him. Now, I understand that he is from the Eastern Bloc and I do enjoy watching the pop concerts that they show on MHZ from Russia. But he has lived in the States long enough. He annoys me. I hate his choices of crappy pop ballads. Time to go, Anatoli.

Anwar Robinson: He is 25. He looks really old to me for some reason. He seems very gentle, but a bit too schmaltzy for me. He also always looks a bit like he does not really know what’s going on, but he’ll go along for the ride. I was surprised to see him in the bottom three this week. This guy is unimposing.

Bo Bice: I think he is great. He has stage presence and radiates a sense of self that makes him fun to watch. He also picks songs that I like and sings them well. I think he will go far. I predict 2nd.

Carrie Underwood: Oh Carrie. So cute and sweet. Naïve, but not stupid. Soo pretty. Great voice. Weird decisions regarding hairstyles, though. Can someone take her aside and give a couple of hints? I am sure they have stylists on that show, though by looking at Paula…maybe not… Carrie will win and she will be a big star. Alas, maybe her fame will come in the country music industry. I am not a big country music fan.

Constantine Maroulis: Really tall. Weird vibrato. Ugly hair. Calls himself a rocker yet seems to always be singing non-rocker songs like “I think I love you” by the Partridge Family..? What is up with the chin fat? Quit kicking. It’s not rock n’roll. It’s just weird. Get a hair cut and stop wearing those jeans. I did not want to get to know you that well.

Jessica Sierra: Was voted off last night. I was actually kind of surprised. They have voted off three of the six girls. What’s up with that? This one could sing. She looks like she is going to weigh 300 pounds by the time she is a grown up, but she has an awesome voice. Oh well. Bye Jessica. Bye half blonde, half black hair. Bye weird mouth.

Nadia Turner: I totally dug her at first, though when she smiles, I become afraid. She looks just like the Joker in the Batman movie. And she totally misses the point of the songs. She wore a Mohawk to sing Time After Time. Now I may be a bit biased as Cyndi Lauper was my idol growing up, but Time After Time is not a song to sing grinning and prancing around for the cameras. Nadia does not grasp that there are words to songs, and these words have meanings and a good singer reflects that in the way they sing. She has been in the bottom three for two weeks. I predict she is gone within two weeks.

Nikko Smith: He is from Town & Country, MO…. There is a town called Town & Country…? Seriously? Or did he get confused when filling out the paperwork for the show? This is baseball great Ozzie Smith’s kid. Maybe Ozzie is playing ball, because he is never in the audience. This kid was voted off before, and is back because Mario left due to that fact that he is gay/and or hitting on all the girls. (That’s what I heard.) I am not a fan, Nikko. I fast forward through your songs.

Scott Savol: Why did you sing Phil Collins? Why? I love that song, and now I have a bad experience with it. You look a bit like Scotty Bowman. (Sorry Scotty.) You have the worst attitude. I hope you do not because a celebrity on any level because you would not be a good role model for anyone. I do not like you. I do not like you one bit. I hope you leave soon.

Vonzell Solomon: Interesting. She seemed very boring to me at first. She seemed like a nice girl, but not a great singer. She seems to be growing with the show. It’s weird. I am not sure how I feel about her. I got nothing. But she ain’t gonna win.