Maxim cover girl
Prologue: A couple of years ago my best friend decided that I should enter a contest to get into Maxim the magazine... This is the story of the 24 hours before I sent in my pictures...
Who would not want to be on the cover of Maxim?
Just recently, the editors of Maxim were accepting entries for their second annual Girlfriend of the Day contest. Marci and I got together at my house to take some pictures. (Get your mind out of the gutter. Not those kind of pictures.) She decided that she wanted to enter me into the competition. (I am her friend and I am a girl… therefore, I am a girlfriend. Again, get your mind out of the gutter.)
So, I put a load of makeup on, fixed my hair and found the belly baring-est clothes I could find. Pose. Snap! Pose. Snap! Pose. Some movement catches our eyes. SCREAM! Big-ass bug flying around my room! Panic! I grab my baseball bat. But the bug is hiding under the bed. It comes out after a few minutes just to hear us scream again and scurry rapidly back under the bed. We are clinging to each other in mortal fear of the “Death bug” and the bug is most likely freaking out under the bed, its little heart pounding like mad. But every time it emerges, we scream again. Damn! Never knew we were such girls! Finally, we grab the vacuum cleaner and suck it up. Then, leaving the vacuum running so that the bug will not try to escape it, we contemplate our next step. We tape up the vacuum hose. That bug is not going to get us. Trauma behind us, we get back to the task at hand. We had to. Being the last minute dopes that we are, we had to take the pictures, develop them and send them into Maxim within 24 hours. Nothing like the last minute, eh?
The next day I had them developed. To save time, I had them put on a CD-ROM. When I went in to get them, the developer guy came out from behind his machine to help me, even though there were a couple of people ahead of me in line that were still waiting to be helped. (Curious.) And he did not charge me for the index print, which they always charge you for. (Curiouser.) So, (potentially scary) pictures in hand, I went home. Marci and I went through the pile and found the non-scariest of the bunch. Let me tell you, this was not an easy feat, but it was done. (Ok, I lie a bit, the picture we chose was pretty cute – Does that make me vain?) Paperwork filled out and picture sent in. Done! Marci and I popped open a couple of fudgesicles to celebrate (the fact that we actually finished something that we started was reason enough to celebrate). Imagine my surprise when the deadline for contacting me about being a contestant had passed without an email or call! But I am not completely deterred. I want to be on the cover of Maxim! If they won’t let me win that contest, maybe you guys can help me out. I was thinking that maybe a petition would work, or else if we make a huge stink about it, Maxim editors will take pity on me (like the pity people take on a three-legged dog. Don’t call me tripod.) and call me up.
In the end:
I actually did get picked to be one of the 100 chicks they put on their webpage to vote from. Alas, I did not make it in to the top ten. I still think I was supercute and they should put me on the cover. They should just be careful that the pictures they take are not quite as overexposed as the ones Marci and I took. We thought we'd need a whole lot of light. Yeah, well my skin, being almost perfectly white, takes all light and reflects it. So, actually, you need less light to photograph me. I, apparently, radiate my own.
Who would not want to be on the cover of Maxim?
Just recently, the editors of Maxim were accepting entries for their second annual Girlfriend of the Day contest. Marci and I got together at my house to take some pictures. (Get your mind out of the gutter. Not those kind of pictures.) She decided that she wanted to enter me into the competition. (I am her friend and I am a girl… therefore, I am a girlfriend. Again, get your mind out of the gutter.)
So, I put a load of makeup on, fixed my hair and found the belly baring-est clothes I could find. Pose. Snap! Pose. Snap! Pose. Some movement catches our eyes. SCREAM! Big-ass bug flying around my room! Panic! I grab my baseball bat. But the bug is hiding under the bed. It comes out after a few minutes just to hear us scream again and scurry rapidly back under the bed. We are clinging to each other in mortal fear of the “Death bug” and the bug is most likely freaking out under the bed, its little heart pounding like mad. But every time it emerges, we scream again. Damn! Never knew we were such girls! Finally, we grab the vacuum cleaner and suck it up. Then, leaving the vacuum running so that the bug will not try to escape it, we contemplate our next step. We tape up the vacuum hose. That bug is not going to get us. Trauma behind us, we get back to the task at hand. We had to. Being the last minute dopes that we are, we had to take the pictures, develop them and send them into Maxim within 24 hours. Nothing like the last minute, eh?
The next day I had them developed. To save time, I had them put on a CD-ROM. When I went in to get them, the developer guy came out from behind his machine to help me, even though there were a couple of people ahead of me in line that were still waiting to be helped. (Curious.) And he did not charge me for the index print, which they always charge you for. (Curiouser.) So, (potentially scary) pictures in hand, I went home. Marci and I went through the pile and found the non-scariest of the bunch. Let me tell you, this was not an easy feat, but it was done. (Ok, I lie a bit, the picture we chose was pretty cute – Does that make me vain?) Paperwork filled out and picture sent in. Done! Marci and I popped open a couple of fudgesicles to celebrate (the fact that we actually finished something that we started was reason enough to celebrate). Imagine my surprise when the deadline for contacting me about being a contestant had passed without an email or call! But I am not completely deterred. I want to be on the cover of Maxim! If they won’t let me win that contest, maybe you guys can help me out. I was thinking that maybe a petition would work, or else if we make a huge stink about it, Maxim editors will take pity on me (like the pity people take on a three-legged dog. Don’t call me tripod.) and call me up.
In the end:
I actually did get picked to be one of the 100 chicks they put on their webpage to vote from. Alas, I did not make it in to the top ten. I still think I was supercute and they should put me on the cover. They should just be careful that the pictures they take are not quite as overexposed as the ones Marci and I took. We thought we'd need a whole lot of light. Yeah, well my skin, being almost perfectly white, takes all light and reflects it. So, actually, you need less light to photograph me. I, apparently, radiate my own.
Buggie spilled her guts for you at 3/23/2005 09:47:00 PM
5 Comments:
PICTURES PLEASE!
As photographer I have rights to those photos, no? So there will be no distribution without my prior written consent. Thank you and good day.
I don't know if I can post a comment this long, but I found this diary of voting day:
Diary of Maxim voting campaign
AUGUST 19, 2002
Today the Maxim girlfriend competition begins! I won’t check til 9am, to give them time to send the updates through.
9:17 am - and no updates to the Maxim site. B says: thanks Maxim crier
10:09 am and the Maxim editors are proving themselves to be lazy bastards.
11:02 am B says: how is the maxim site doing?
11:03 am - Still no change to Maxim Online. Starting to wonder if they are going to be as late with this as they were with the contestant notifications. B says: they suck.
11:31…nothing. Am not reporting this check to B, because it’s getting ridiculous. You’d think those lazy asses would do something before lunchtime. It’s not like they are on the West coast for God’s sake.
11:56 am – It says “Gentlemen start voting” !!! EEEEEEEEEE I am scared to look. There she is, the third one. OH MY GOD, these girls are pretty much naked. Holy shit. B’s hottness looks almost demure next to some of these girls. OOOh, there’s a pretty girl. Doh! There’s a scary girl, oh and a few more scary girls.
12:01 pm – I’ve voted. I scored B a “10” and the other’s all “1”.
12:08 pm – I’ve conqured the computers of two of my co-workers and voted again. Damn got to go to lunch. B says: I can't see the rules. Marci, where do people go on the site? (NOTE: Today of all days B’s company blocks the entire office from all “fun” related sites including Maxim so she cannot even see herself, much less vote!)
1:04 pm – Back from sushi birthday lunch courtesy of Laurin, yum! Ok, now to get the rest of the office to vote.
1:16 pm – Got four more co-workers to dole out “10” votes for B.
B says: can you fix my profile? (She is blocked from there too? Geesh.)
1:29 pm – profile changed to read:
Headline: Vote for me at www.maximonline.com in the Real Live Girlfriend Competition!
Why you should get to know me: Because I am considered one of America's hottest girlfriends by Maxim Magazine. Go there and tell them you agree... www.maximonline.com
Vote for me in the Real Live Girlfriend Competition. Because sadly, my best girl friend had to nominate me – so I need all the help I can get, OK?
Who I am looking for: Someone who gets the hint and gives me a "10" in the Real Live Girlfriend Competition on www.maximonline.com.
1:42 pm – There is a response online regarding the call to vote! siznatch says: I will vote for you on Maxim even though you didn't respond to my message!! :o) But does this mean you have a boyfriend?
1:55 pm – Instant message from dude calling himself werrwolf to say that he’s voting too! Hmm, he’s kinda witty, let’s look him up. Der…no picture. That = not cute. Got the vote no need to pursue this conversation!
2:52 pm – Another response…score another vote for Buggie!
3:01 pm - Realized that if you delete your cookies and Internet files you can vote more than once!!! Cool! Dave in my office is a genius.
3:19 pm – I’ve voted four times, and most of my co-workers at least twice.
3:25 pm – Dave demonstrates his genius even further by telling his male friends that all the other girls on the site are really men and don’t deserve anything above a “1” and that’s just because you HAVE to rate them something. B says: ha
3:44 pm – Have sent out multiple emails to all my friends as well as made a few calls. Hopefully will score a few more “10” votes that way.
3:52 pm – Dave continues to campaign, by promising to give out B’s number if guys vote her a “10”….he just doesn’t give out the right number. Tricky.
4:10 pm – Have lost count of how many times I’ve voted. More than 20. I’ve crashed my computer (well, frozen my computer) twice.
4:29 pm – just called a girl we met in Vegas last month. She and her husband loved us and should be good for a vote or two. Had to give her my email address so I didn’t sound so much like I was just calling because I wanted something, even though I was.
4:32 pm – B sends out email to a whole bevy of people who love her or otherwise want to see her sans clothes…she now feels like a politician. “Ok, today is the day to vote. Thanks to everyone who already did.”
August 20
8:37 am – First crop of girls still online, looks like I will be voting like crazy all morning.
B says: Do you think the fact that the picture is so light compared to the others is gonna be bad for me? I don’t think so, it’s a good pic and looks awesome when you click on it to enlarge.
10:27 am -- thank god the Maxim people are lazy bastards. B’s pic is still up. Time to gather second-time voters.
10:50 am –new batch of girls hit the website. Hmph.
11:12 am – B says: Angela and Beverly are cute. Well they are, BUT Angela's picture is not is good and Beverly's looks like ass when you click on it for the bigger version (where as B’s looked better)
11:23 am – I voted all of today’s
girls a “1”…wonder if doing this multiple times will hinder or help them. B says: I dunno, so quit. But I just want to make sure I sabotage the skanks hard enough.
Well, that is the best diary. I had not read that before. It totally took me back to that day. To think, all those votes and I am still not seeing my framed Maxim cover (with me on it, of course) on my wall.
As you know, you got about 50 votes from me and my crew. Was rooting for ye'.
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