Silence, please... except during the silence.

I took my mum to the symphony last week. It was Verdi's Requiem. Heavy stuff. The conductor had big floppy hair that he liked to flip wildy as he gesticulated towards the musicians. He was not unlike Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons.
People have funny symphony etiquette. The show was only about an hour and half, luckily. I think people would have gone insane. During the playing of music, no one dared move. As soon as there was silence, the entire auditorium developed a bug in their throats and felt obligated to cough. It was a caucophony of coughs, if you will. (I am the funniest person alive.) It was like two shows at once! (Do, I have to break this down? The Requiem was one show, and the coughing/movement was another. I know I am an ass. Can you like me anyway? Please?) All movement took place during the silences and the conductor would stand there will his hair aflame and his arms stretched wildly waiting for utter silence before he began to conduct. I truly believe the show would have been an hour had he had less patience. Me, I have a cold and I held my breath so that I would not cough and I only coughed when they hit the big drums. I thought I was doing it right. I guess I did not understand the apparent proper protocol was that the time to cough is during the silence. The Requiem also featured 4 opera singers. A soprano, an alto, a tenor (which I mistakenly keep typing as tenro) and a bass. Now, I was about 20 rows in and against the wall, but there was no one to block the bass's view of me. He looked at his book most of the time, but I am pretty sure he was checking me out. I distinctly saw him look at me and smile a bit. I am not delusional. He was not cute, but he can't help it that I am, right? Yeah, my mum thinks I am nuts, too. But I have to keep myself entertained somehow.