Le Chaim

It’s time to get ready for Hanukkah. Only two more weeks until the Festival of Lights begins. At this time of year, I find myself embracing my place as a child of Israel. I am intrigued by the Jewish faith and culture, but Hanukkah time is when it captures me the most. I sing about the dreidel, I light the candles on the menorah, or I would had a found a cool one when I was in Prague last year. I celebrate in my own special way. This way includes one gentile and two half Jews, a decorated plunger, latkes, and a revamped dreidel song that gets new and improved stanzas every year. It is the most wonderful celebration and I do not think the tradition will ever die. In fact, this year should be the fifth anniversary of what we call Hanumas.

And yes, we started this long before TV land got the idea, which only feeds into my notion that some Hollywood writer has been having me followed as many of my ideas seem to find their way into the lives of our favorite television characters. I mean come on! I have told you this before, but I am going to repeat it. It’s important. Family Guy had Chris get a pimple which was called Doug. My ex had a huge-normous pimple on his chin that was so big I named it… Doug… and greeted it before I greeted him, every time I saw them. I can’t figure out why he dumped me. Doug emerged on Ex-guy’s chin a good two years before the show reintroduced him as a character. Hmm, I got totally off topic here. That never happens.

Apparently, I can’t just decide to be Jewish. Even if it is only at Hanukkah time. The most brilliant comic genius of our time, Michael Richards, stated that he is Jewish and that is why no one can be mad at him for what he said the other night at the Laugh factory in LA. He was “playing a role”. So he must have Jewish parents right? Nope. Well, then he obviously converted, correct? Huh uh.

What the heck, Michael Richards? You spout off racist remarks against all sorts of groups and then instead of accepting the responsibility for being an ass, you try to make up all sorts of excuses as to why? I would love to say man up and apologize for being such a complete and utter jackass, but honestly, you’ve fallen ever so far. The thing is people are pretty forgiving towards someone who is truly repentant. But you don’t want to deal with it, do you? "He wants to rest," the publicist said. "He's been talking to his psychiatrist."

Yeah, it’s pretty exhausting offending everyone.