Five things I really like today:

1. Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch. Okay, I love this all the time, but today it is special as it scratches my itchy throat on its way down. Yay!
   
2. The weather. Hot damn, it is a beautiful day. Great for those of you with the day off. (Happy Veteran’s Day. Since when is it on a Friday?) What about the morons who lay in bed until getting up to come to work and now getting ready to go back to bed? Can someone help me bring my bed outside?
   
3. Sephora Customer Service. I called because a promo code expired before I got to use it and she totally hooked me up! Free samples! Free polka dotted bag!
   
4. Available Kleenex. Because I am going through tissues like the unpopular kid at camp goes through underpants after the other kids tricked him into eating chocolate that’s really Ex-Lax.
   
5. Sneezing. Today is special because my cold is at the stage where it is leading me up to a sneeze and then Psych! No sneeze. I like sneezing in general. It feels good and is socially acceptable in public. I remember an episode of Third Rock from the Sun where they had all caught colds. Sally sneezed so hard she fell back against the wall. The others asked what had just happened and she replied, “I don’t know. But I want another.” Amen sister.