Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

This is how I WOULD have stolen

the five dollars that were stolen from my sister's coat jacket back in 1983, had I stolen those five dollars. I would have waited until no one was around and then quietly gone to the coat closet. Slyly, I would have slid the door open, casting cautious looks about me and listening for tell-tale feet. Rehearsing in my mind the story that I was just looking for my lucky rabbit's foot, in case I were to get caught, I would slide my hand into the pocket of my sister's blue and white jacket and have it triumphantly emerge with a five dollar bill. Had I have stolen this money, which I did not, I would have gone to Springfield Mall and watched Jaws 3D twice and even treated myself to candy and soda. I would have jumped both times the frog jumped off of the screen onto my face. But I did not steal those five dollars. That is merely how I WOULD have done it, had I done. Which I did not.

7 Comments:

Anonymous haveyouseenlucky said...

From your own sister?!

(I used to have backup stories for what I was doing in case I got caught too, I won't share them, because that would mean confessing of course)

11/21/2006 05:01:00 PM  
Blogger Buggie said...

I never did anything bad!

11/21/2006 05:04:00 PM  
Blogger Ar-Jew-Tino said...

A movie, candy, and soda: $5? I remember 1983 like it was 1985 and I don't remember going to the movies being THAT cheap. Of course, that's how much it WOULD have cost you if you had gone, which you didn't.

11/21/2006 06:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are too funny. I heart you.

11/21/2006 06:52:00 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

I am so glad they pulled that shit.

I am also so glad you mocked it.

11/21/2006 07:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh wait... Maybe he DID do it.

Someone better tell OJ's girlfriend (who would date him?)

11/21/2006 09:43:00 PM  
Blogger Buggie said...

Well, I would have gone to a matinee, twice, had I stolen that money which I did not. Matinees (which I had spelled manitee- "i'm a Manatee. Whatever! SEA COW")were only about $1.50 in those days.
Hypothetically.

I looked up movie ticket prices in 1983 and this website http://www.gti.net/mocolib1/prices/1983.html said this "Movie ticket, Morris County Mall [Hanover Twp., NJ], 2.00/matinee"

11/22/2006 09:13:00 AM  

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