This is how I WOULD have stolen

the five dollars that were stolen from my sister's coat jacket back in 1983, had I stolen those five dollars. I would have waited until no one was around and then quietly gone to the coat closet. Slyly, I would have slid the door open, casting cautious looks about me and listening for tell-tale feet. Rehearsing in my mind the story that I was just looking for my lucky rabbit's foot, in case I were to get caught, I would slide my hand into the pocket of my sister's blue and white jacket and have it triumphantly emerge with a five dollar bill. Had I have stolen this money, which I did not, I would have gone to Springfield Mall and watched Jaws 3D twice and even treated myself to candy and soda. I would have jumped both times the frog jumped off of the screen onto my face. But I did not steal those five dollars. That is merely how I WOULD have done it, had I done. Which I did not.