5 down...5 letters... cr_zy...?

When things are stressing me out, I do crossword puzzles or color in a coloring book. Don't make fun. I know it is unusual. There is something about filling in the various blocks with color that is soothing. It is such a mindless activity and it calms me. I like to use the crayons that have really rich pigment like denim or burnt sienna. When I am done with the page, it takes a bit of the pain from me. I think by focusing all of my attention on something so inane, it helps me deal with issues I don't truly want to face and helps me comprehend my feelings. If not that, then it takes me away from my pain for a few minutes. When my dad died, I was constantly doing crossword puzzles. It was almost like if I could finish the puzzle, I would keep the reality away from me of what I had lost. Coloring in a coloring book, or doing a crossword puzzle stops the constant hammering of thought in my head. If something is truly bothering me, then I can't stop thinking about it, analyzing it, yet never coming to any conclusions. I just beat myself up. I don't want to think so much.