Five little monkeys jumpin' on the bed

One is leaving, then there were five. (On what else? AmErIcAn IdOl!!! Look how cool that looks. I am so cool. WOOOOOOO!)

Carrie’s hair extensions make her look short and wide. It’s weird. What is it with her and her hair? Yawn… What a boring song.
We learn that Carrie is a momma’s girl. And decide that the neck rocking while she sings must stop.

Paula might have a bird nesting in her hair. I think she may have let Carrie’s stylist do her hair. Yikes.

Clay Aiken! I swear he is really a tall woman with short spiky hair.

Bo’s girlfriend looks just like him. His mom is HOT!! She looks like a prettier and younger Bo Derek.

When he is singing, Bo looks like he is trying to take a bite out of the microphone, or maybe dislodge something from his throat. Whoa- he’s a bit epileptic in his movements. Random.

I wonder who the performers keep pointing at in the audience.

Ryan Seacrest was sitting on some middle aged dad-type’s lap. Um…

If Vonzell loses, will she karate chop everyone? She’s been Kung Fu fighting since she was six. She makes a bold move in singing a Christina Aguilera song. She did not quite hit all of the notes. Dang, that’s a hard song. (Turn To You.) Vonzell is a daddy’s girl. I like her, but she is somehow forgettable. I can’t put my finger on it.

Simon thought she was a bit flat. I have to agree. And she is a tad crazy. She apparently does not speak on Tuesdays. (To save her voice…)

Maybe it’s Anthony’s hair that makes him look that way. NO, I think he has a misshapen head. He is not a “popstar”. I think he’d be great on Broadway. He is so schmaltzy. There is that key around his neck again. He must be terrified of losing it.

Randy is sitting so far back from the judge’s table that he practically sitting in the audience. Perhaps Paula smells funny? Maybe she told him to sit far away from her because his pink striped shirt clashes with her leopard print shirt with turquoise trim. Simon is allowed to stay next to because his blue shirt coordinates with hers.

Wow, Anthony was super stoked to sing Celine Dion…. (Maybe the key is to Seacrest’s heart….)

OOPA! Here comes Constantine. He was apparently named after his mom. You know, he was way better looking before the rock n’ roll got to him.

Problem: His belt makes the focus on him very crotch-centric.

He is screwing up the song and the words. He says “Kayah” instead of “yeah”. No Good. Let’s see what the judges have to say.
Randy: High on performance, low on singing.
Paula: Her teeth are sooooo white. I dunno what she said. I was blinded by her teeth.
Simon: Bad imitation of the original.

Constantine makes Seacrest look like a midget. Constantine should go because he makes the phone gesture and mouths “Call for me” and then indicates the number performer he was. ANNOYING!

What is up with everyone’s overemphasis on vibrato? It’s distracting.

Scott is from Shaker Heights, OH. (Near Cleveland… Sorry, Jen.) He is the heart and soul of America. I really need to move out of the States if that is true. Jeepers. He gesticulates randomly. He sucks. I really just don’t like him. So I’m going to ignore him. His hands look like surgical gloves that were blown up and tied to be a balloon.

Simon seemed to have slept through the performance like me (HA!). He said “I’d pack your suitcase tonight.” Hope he’s right.

From best to worst, based on this and only this performance (in my opinion):
1. Bo
2. Vonzelle
3. Carrie
4. Anthony
5. Scott
6. Constantine

But no one was very good.

WEDS SHOW: (Someone’s gotta go)
I admit that I fast forwarded through most of this show to get to the part where they dump someone.

DAMN! ANOTHER WEEK OF SCOTT!! UGH!!! WHO IS VOTING FOR THIS GUY?

Constantine is going to go back to New York, so perfect his smoldering glance for his future nieces.

Paula looks so concerned. She’s crying. Strangely, for the first time she actually looks kind of pretty.

Scott is standing there laughing. He is such an ass.

Adeeo, Constantine.