Do boneheads get to go to Heaven?
Jerry Falwell died.
He didn't think that Jews or Muslims get to go to Heaven. The theory is that only those who have (say this with a southern accent) accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior are allowed in. Apparently you need a ticket, or something, that only Jesus can give you.
Jerry Falwell also wisely accused the United States for the attack on 9/11. That's like John Walsh being to blame that his son Adam was kidnapped and killed.
So now, that you may see what left our planet today, I leave you with some quotes from the man himself.
"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being"
Damn you believers who did not need to be born again. Damn you for believing all along!
"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals"
Cancer is not just God's punishment for evil televangelists; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates evil televangelists.
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them"
Well, he has a good point here.
Rest in pieces, Jerry.
Buggie spilled her guts for you at 5/15/2007 02:14:00 PM
2 Comments:
That kind of restrictively narrows the avenues of opportunity for the prostitute don't you think. I mean if his/her only customers are those he/she are married to, there can't be a lot of room for growth, and prostitution is a growth industry.
Yes. Growths everywhere :-(
But yeah, finally Falwell will be in heaven, where he can look down from the clouds, watching as all of the gay Teletubbies burn in hell for eternity.
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