Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Monday, January 16, 2006

What's the Frequency?

It’s too loud in my head. I wish I could do something to make it quiet down. Interesting how if I just read someone else stating that, I would think they were completely crazy. Yet, I don’t think I am crazy...at least not completely, anyway. I feel like I am working to progress my life. I am working, going to school and trying to take on an internship in order to make myself that much more qualified for life. Still, I feel like I am running on a hamster wheel. How can I claim control of my life? How do I accept the good things and alleviate the bad? When do I just accept that I am who I am and that is just the way it is?
I feel terrible about feeling terrible. What right do I have? Am I just an entitled bitch who feels the world should cater to her every whim? (Yes)
How do I stop myself from spilling my guts to people? It is horrifying trait that makes me backpedal so furiously that I could outrace Lance Armstrong. Then suddenly, this person with whom I had a nice connection is someone I don’t want to face anymore, because they know too much about me.
If only I could find a safe medium where I could relax and enjoy myself and still feel safe.
In the meantime, how do I shut the noise off in my head?


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