Smile, though your heart is breaking.
What does it take to be happy?
I don't mean happy in the moment, I mean happy. I mean spending more time being happy than sad or mad. What does it take? What moment changes a person's outlook so that they view their experiences with gladness rather than contemplating what went wrong or how it could have been better?
Why are we so fearful? Why did the woman whose family happiness I admired suddenly snatch her child to her when she noticed my glance? Why do women react so arrogantly when they are complimented by another woman? Why does everything always seem to be a competition. (Not just amongst women, amongst everyone.)
Why aren't we happier? And what can we do to fix this?
No one I know is happy. Everyone is always looking behind them at failures they can no longer fix. Everyone is wondering why they can't make their lives better; earn more money; have more prestige; find love.
Can anyone tell me why we negate ourselves so much? "I'm so fat." "I'm not as pretty as she is." "I am not smart enough." We do it so much that we can't believe it when someone is attracted or believes in us.
My girlfriend and I went to Las Vegas one year and our rule for the trip was that we could not say anything negative about ourselves. If I looked in the mirror, I had to find all the good things I saw. Never once did either of us utter, "Damn, I look fat in these jeans." Every night we went out feeling like the prettiest girls in the world. And we had a wonderful time. So why did we leave that behavior in Las Vegas? (Oh yeah, what happens in Vegas...) This simple game worked wonders.
Why aren't we happy?
Why aren't I happy? I am healthy. I have a decent job with a decent salary. I have a couple of good friends. I have a fantastic family. I have a great home and a great car. I have cable television and internet access. I have been in love. I am fairly attractive. I am not over nor under weight. I have no major issues to concern myself with. (Though sometimes I wonder if I did have some major obstacle, would that make me work harder and therefore appreciate the things I have, more?) I'm not happy. I am not depressed, either. I spend a lot of my time in a happy state of mind. And it is not hard for me to enjoy myself. But put me into a room with myself and I am not happy. I see this in so manyof my friends, and people I meet.
What does it take to be happy?
Can you just decide to be happy? Kind of like us deciding to be hot chicks in LV? Does there have to be a moment in time that just changes your outlook? For example, do you have to survive an accident to suddenly realize how good you have it? That just does not sit well with me, because I realize how good I have it, and yet I still can't seem to grasp happiness. Do you have to know what you want so you can aspire to achieve it to be happy? That might pose a problem for me. I have no idea what I want. How do I go about finding it?
Are people so mean to one another because they are unhappy?
I hate myself when I am mean, and yet sometimes people are so mean to me that I take it out on the next person whom I come across. Then I hate myself even more. So I try to be nice, even when they are mean, and it makes me feel weak and that makes me feel small. But I still know it is better than always being mean. I never feel good about being mean.
I want my happiness. I want to wake up in the morning excited about the day. I don't know how to get there.
What does it take to be happy? And why are we so bad at finding it?
I don't mean happy in the moment, I mean happy. I mean spending more time being happy than sad or mad. What does it take? What moment changes a person's outlook so that they view their experiences with gladness rather than contemplating what went wrong or how it could have been better?
Why are we so fearful? Why did the woman whose family happiness I admired suddenly snatch her child to her when she noticed my glance? Why do women react so arrogantly when they are complimented by another woman? Why does everything always seem to be a competition. (Not just amongst women, amongst everyone.)
Why aren't we happier? And what can we do to fix this?
No one I know is happy. Everyone is always looking behind them at failures they can no longer fix. Everyone is wondering why they can't make their lives better; earn more money; have more prestige; find love.
Can anyone tell me why we negate ourselves so much? "I'm so fat." "I'm not as pretty as she is." "I am not smart enough." We do it so much that we can't believe it when someone is attracted or believes in us.
My girlfriend and I went to Las Vegas one year and our rule for the trip was that we could not say anything negative about ourselves. If I looked in the mirror, I had to find all the good things I saw. Never once did either of us utter, "Damn, I look fat in these jeans." Every night we went out feeling like the prettiest girls in the world. And we had a wonderful time. So why did we leave that behavior in Las Vegas? (Oh yeah, what happens in Vegas...) This simple game worked wonders.
Why aren't we happy?
Why aren't I happy? I am healthy. I have a decent job with a decent salary. I have a couple of good friends. I have a fantastic family. I have a great home and a great car. I have cable television and internet access. I have been in love. I am fairly attractive. I am not over nor under weight. I have no major issues to concern myself with. (Though sometimes I wonder if I did have some major obstacle, would that make me work harder and therefore appreciate the things I have, more?) I'm not happy. I am not depressed, either. I spend a lot of my time in a happy state of mind. And it is not hard for me to enjoy myself. But put me into a room with myself and I am not happy. I see this in so manyof my friends, and people I meet.
What does it take to be happy?
Can you just decide to be happy? Kind of like us deciding to be hot chicks in LV? Does there have to be a moment in time that just changes your outlook? For example, do you have to survive an accident to suddenly realize how good you have it? That just does not sit well with me, because I realize how good I have it, and yet I still can't seem to grasp happiness. Do you have to know what you want so you can aspire to achieve it to be happy? That might pose a problem for me. I have no idea what I want. How do I go about finding it?
Are people so mean to one another because they are unhappy?
I hate myself when I am mean, and yet sometimes people are so mean to me that I take it out on the next person whom I come across. Then I hate myself even more. So I try to be nice, even when they are mean, and it makes me feel weak and that makes me feel small. But I still know it is better than always being mean. I never feel good about being mean.
I want my happiness. I want to wake up in the morning excited about the day. I don't know how to get there.
What does it take to be happy? And why are we so bad at finding it?
Buggie spilled her guts for you at 5/22/2005 09:54:00 PM
8 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lessee if I can throw out a bunch of counter thoughts over the next few days. (You know how I like to ramble.)
Thought 1:
Now then, the rest of the thoughts are all crap compaired to this.
Happiness is not something that we can _achieve_ and as fallen, cursed, selfish, self indulgent people happines is not something that comes from ourselves. And yet, happiness is something we immediately recognize.
Thought 2:
Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
Thought 3:
A good symphony and the memories that return every time you hear it.
Thought 4:
Staring into the face of a kindred spirit and finding acceptance.
Thought 5:
Repelling down a mountain "Aussie Style" (Yeah, so it's more of an adrenaline rush but it brings back memories of people I trusted with my life.)
Common' peeps ... help me out here.
- The scent of new mown hay.
- The velvety nuzzle of a puppy.
- Lying under the stars with someone you love and being comfortable in the silence.
- Watching the proverbial "light bulb" flicker on when someone figures out something new.
- Riding the motorcyle (or the car with the top down) through the mountains on a crisp afternoon, the scent of the rain shower that just past lingers in the air as a few fingers of sun peak through the clouds to say "hello."
- Coffee
- A nice single malt.
- Working on a puzzle with grandma after a family meal with uncles and aunts and cousins.
Depression hits when you have everything you reasonably expected to get, and have nothing to go after anymore. I'm convinced that this is why depression and anxiety is running rampant in our society. As animals we are hard wired to always be pursuing some value, when there's nothing for us to pursue we subconsiously(sp?) think that something is wrong. The solution for me is to always have a million different things waiting to do. (see my new years list)
-Rich
Enh, my goal is to have absolutely nothing to do, or rather nothing required of me to do.
A day where every action I take is a delight because it is how I choose to spend my time not because it's expected or required of me.
I don't really care what I'm doing so long as someone isn't telling me I have to do it.
Earthly gains? I honestly enjoy creature comforts, but there's nothing out there that can't be taken away. I love building something with my own two hands, but there's nothing I can build that can't be destroyed.
I've concluded that hope and happiness cannot be found in ourselves or in others. Especially in others. The absolute worst thing that someone can do to you is to not live up to your expectations.
And.........no more waxing philosophical for now. I've got some TPS (http://homepage.mac.com/payote/TPSMemo.pdf) reports to put to gether.
When you figure this all out, let me know, in the meantime I have decided to seek out God and inner peace. I think the first step is being comfortable in your own skin, on the inside and than working out.
Apparently I am just here to regurjitate what other people say because I agree with Harms here, you have to work from the inside out. I really believe that true/real happiness is not possible unless you are in tune with yourself; being comfortable in your faults and appreciating your strengths...being curious enough to seek out the things you haven't learned yet.
All sap and babble, but...well. You're awesome (and pretty).
-M
Post a Comment
<< Home