So maybe not EVERYONE looks like me, but they all seem to ache like me.

I used to think Fiona Apple and I were similar in looks. I realize now that I was probably smoking crack. She does, however, have the soundtrack to my life in her collection. I was not going to share it with anyone outside of my closest friends, but on my way home from work today I realized that I don't need to censor my feelings. Therefore, I am giving you my soundtrack. Both songs are Fiona Apple's "When the Pawn" CD. The first one, I Know, had been my song for a few years. The second, I decided is too personal to share yet. I will say that it is on that CD and that the whole CD is fitting my state of mind to one degree or another right now.
Thank God for music. Thank God there is a 4 minute musical pill to let you feel your hurt and sorrow and anger so completely and then maybe take a little part of it away. Who knows what my songs will be next week. I hope they are not the same.
If it does not make sense to you, don't worry. I think this blog was more for me than for anyone else.
But for now, I am sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, this little peek into my heart. If it does, then quit reading for goodness sakes.

I Know: Fiona Apple
So be it, I'm your crowbar If that's what I am so far Until you get out of this mess And I will pretend That I don't know of your sins Until you are ready to confess But all the time, all the time I'll know, I'll know And you can use my skin To bury secrets in And I will settle you down And at my own suggestion, I will ask no questions While I do my thing in the background But all the time, all the time I'll know, I'll know. Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around So for the time being, I'm being patient And amidst this bitterness If you'll just consider this-even if it don't make sense All the time-give it time And when the crowd becomes your burden And you've early closed your curtains, I'll wait by the backstage door While you try to find the lines to speak your mind And pry it open, hoping for an encore And if it gets too late, for me to wait For you to find you love me, and tell me so. It's ok, don't need to say it.