That is so groinular. FOR REAL!

Oh glorious night of girls out! Jen and Marci and I met out tonight. We found a new place on the Hill and managed to score rockstar parking right out front. I think it's cause we are so pretty. Marci thinks so too. I got hit on by the door guy. Jen got hit on by scary married guy who thinks it is a great idea to sleep with non-spousal girls. We told him he sucks and to beat it. Then Marci and I went to a neighborhood bar where we met these random arseholes. The one guy, [name], tried to hang out with us and we blew him off. He then told us that he was getting married and this was his bachelor week. We were like oohh.... great, ya limp handshaker... Beat it! Then he came back and told us that we were the reason he was getting married. And we said OH NO! Except not really. We kind of did not care so much. Or at all... So good luck marrying your loser girlfriend, ya loser. Then he kept coming back...with gifts... Um, we are the reason you are getting married... GO AWAY! No? Oh, you wanna tell me how great my ass is? Oh, I am a bitch. Swell. What the hell is going on? Why Does he keep coming back? You hate us. We don't care. Beat it.
Then the lights came on. Yikes. The horror. Then we went home and I am making Marci spend the night. And she is making me really strong screwdrivers. NO, you can't spoon me, Marci. I am saving myself for... . Okay, maybe just a little snuggle... (sorry Mama, and Aunt Gloria... This is what booze and a broken heart will do..)

Marci loves everyone, except [name]...