When the boss is away, the Buggie will be bored, mostly.
A day in the life of a Bug at work.
8:00 Watch the Shuttle land. Make unfunny comments about its safe arrival. For example: at one point they were indicating two spots on the shuttle with x’s and I said “Aw man, it was landing safely and so they are gonna shoot it down?” Yeah, I know… gallows humor?
8:20 Check my emails. Ooh, Steep and Cheap is selling $100 goggles that actually look cool, for $30. Too bad I don’t know how to ski. (Won’t someone take me skiing? – which actually makes me regress into a memory of my three skiing experiences.
1. I was visiting my friend in Germany. I must have been 15. We strapped on cross country skis and went out. I was fine on those skis and saw a little hill. Come on, I said, let’s try the hill. My friend reluctantly followed and down the hill we went. On cross country skis. Second try, almost took out a kid who was sledding, as well as a small sapling.
2. Working at Bennigan’s. 20 years old. Worked St. Patty’s day with my pals and we were there until 5 am just cleaning up. We came to the bright conclusion to go skiing. Everyone piled into a car, drove towards the nearest ski resort when 20 miles from home, the car broke down and we had to walk to find a pay phone so a mom, who was not happy we were going in the first place, could come and get us. It was damn cold, too.
3. 25 years old. Finally doing it right. Planned a day trip to go snow boarding. Drove 4 hours to get to the resort. It had rained all day and people were mud-boarding down the hill. Needless to say, I was not one of them.
Those are my attempts at skiing. Not meant to be? My sister lives near mountains. I visit her for a week and a half every December. What the..? (Also, I first typed skies, then skiis… Typing is hard.)
8:55 My horoscope today: You have an effect on people. You make them feel a certain way. Get in touch with exactly what that effect and feeling are. Ask questions. It's time to figure out if you're coming across as you intend. Hmm, what does that mean? I am going to spend some time over thinking this.
9:30 A little bored. My boss is out for the rest of the week. AND he is on a plane right now, so he can’t call and ask “What’s going on?” So I am filling my time by reading amalah. I am almost caught up with reading her archives. I don’t know this girl, but I think I would like to. AND she lives in DC, maybe a stalking spree is in order? I am obviously kidding. But she writes awesomely and seems like a coolio chick. I can already see her influence in my writing sometimes and also others… asshat, Marci?
To give an example of the exquisite writing of the Amalah, read this. That’s literary gold.
9:45 Who is going to want to read some long involved retelling of my uneventful day? AND we still have 7 hours and 15 minutes to go! And in 9 hours and 15 minutes, I will be enjoying the Celtic sounds of Canada. I am going to see Great Big Sea at Wolftrap tonight. With a higher-up in my department. And the President of one of our Business Units. And his wife. Awkward? Probably. Not caring! GREAT.BIG.SEA!!!
10:06 Boss.gave.me.work. You can’t give someone work to do when the whole morning has been spent goofing off.
10:22 Private number ringing on my caller ID. But I am not going to answer it. The office skeeze’s assistant is on vacation, so the office skeeze has taken to calling me every day. To chat. Ew. I ignore it. Message! Let’s see? Yep, it’s him. Uck. Some people just don’t get it.
10:32 Apparently the biggest news of the day is that Dana Reeve, wife of the late Christopher Reeve, has lung cancer. While, yes, it is a tragedy, is it really necessary to televise this fact all morning long? (Here’s to a full recovery.)
10:41 All the delicious coffee and water that I have enjoyed thus far, is done with me. But the bathroom is all the way across the building. So, I always wait until the very last second and then sprint down the hall ignoring anyone in my path. Why can’t I have my own personal bathroom? (Too much info? Count your blessings, there are far worse things I could be sharing.) Let’s see how long it takes me to come back…
10:46 Five minutes! Well, I said it was far! You know what bugs me? When the toilet paper roll is not feeding from the top. So you have to go searching to for the start of the roll while in the meantime, all the paper is piling up in the dispenser somewhere. Just put the damn roll in correctly. Sheesh.
10:49 The women in my office are neurotic. (Myself included.) We have a trashcan by the exit of the bathroom because the people who wash their hands use the paper towel they dried their hands with to open the door in case of cooties from the non-handwashers. But seriously, Wash!Your!Hands!
12:00 Broke down and did a lot of work. I know! It’s insanity. In that time, my big boss called and wanted to know “what’s going on.” I said, “Work, sir. And lots of it!”
12:05 Lunching time. We have a café where they feed us. With a salad bar, and soups, and a dessert bar, and fruits. Today we can have tortellini or prime rib. I might have the salad bar. But people blow me away when they opt to go out to eat. Hellooooo! We have food here. It’s mostly great and it’s paid for. They justify going out by saying they won’t eat as much. Ever heard of a little restraint? Damn!
1:00 A substantial part of lunch was spent discussing Jelly Belly’s. Lunch was not so great today. But still. Paid for.
1:20 Flipped through pages of Elle magazine. It is ads punctuated by the occasional article about something you saw in one of the aforementioned ads. Pheh. Can’t afford nothing in there. And no, I don’t want to talk about my new crush on
Hey! It’s only $100. I must have lost my touch. I used to be the girl who would walk into a dollar store and find the only item that costs $1000.
1:42 Did some more work. It must look like I do nothing all day. It’s true, today. I have two expense reports that are just aching to be done, but other than that, today is a free for all day. It’s not usually like this. I can generally be found running back and forth, editing papers, creating documents, calling people, yadda yadda yadda. But when the big man is out and I got caught up on all of my work yesterday, today is a take it easy kind of day. Hence the diary of today’s experiences. Hope you are not bored out of your mind. But it is keeping me from being bored out of mine, so deal with it.
1:45 Holy crap is this ever the longest pile of self-indulgent crap that has ever been written?
3:00 Talked to my mom and ate M&M’s. It’s hard talking clearly over the sound of crunching candies in your mouth. I’m sure she appreciated hearing that.
3:01 Yay, two more hours. Yawn.
3:02 Boss called. He’s wearing a sport coat and everyone else is wearing golf shirts. It is hot in Texas. He is casting a pox on me. (I forgot to find out the dress code before sending him off. Oops.)
3:11 My coworker just said I am a little spicy and a little dicey. I like it!
3:28 “I like to move it move it. I like to move it. I like to move it move it.” Get this song out of my head!
3:32 “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I am getting so hot…” ARGHHHHHH!!! I don’t even listen to those songs, how they heck did they get in my head?!?
3:38 102 minutes. So sleepy. Wonder if I can stretch out under my desk and nap a little?
3:42 Hell, I practically lay in my seat. I believe my chair is way too big for me. People are constantly telling me to sit up. Hey! Eat my shorts.
3:47 What does castigate mean? I just used it in a sentence and am not even sure what it means, even though I am confident that I used it correctly. I said “I won’t be castigated for issues that I have already resolved.” Ha! I did. DEF: To criticize or punish severely. Thesaurus: chastise, rebuke, scold, berate, chide, reprimand.
3:51 I hate the sound of nails being filed. Hate it so much!
3:57 Spider Solitaire OWNS me. According to the stats, I have only won 3% of the games I have played. Pathetic. Maybe I should play more. Ha!
3:59 The music playlist in my head is horrible. I am going to play music, real music, on my computer. Hmm, Christina Aguilera, Dirrty. I think I will veto. What’s next? Omigod, the music on my computer is as bad as that in my head!
4:02 Ashlee Simpson.. What the… I got her CD in a moment of pop-idol teen regression. I actually kind of liked her voice, but then maybe the realities of “Ashlee” came to fruition, what with her horrendous display of lack of talent at the Orange Bowl.. (Was that the Orange Bowl? Whatever. The college football thingie..) And the clothes? I am still not completely healed from the temporary blindness she has inflicted on me. Ouchie, Ashlee.
4:05 Ok, seriously… My playlist sucks. SUCKS. And I hate Bon Jovi. I am sorry, Jen. I just do.
4:16 We were talking about how our token really short person hates being called “shorty-patorty” and the person who called her that said that she should embrace it, as she herself has embraced her red-headed, left handed, stepchildness. That just sounded all shades of wrong, so I excused myself. (I also wrote “said that she short embrace it” Yeah.)
4:31 Co-worker snuck out early. But she asked me and I said ok. But I want to not be here anymore too. This last half hour is going to drag as most everyone is gone and I have a headache and a multitude of Motrin that is not in my desk as I took it o Philadelphia last weekend. More of a neckache than a headache. Can I blame my chair?
4:36 Does it make me a bad person that I totally badgered the man whom I used to call “the elf” and complain that he smells a tiny bit like old folks home for his extra ticket to see Great Big Sea? Naw, he’s way cooler than he was when he was my boss and besides GREAT!BIG!SEA!
4:48 Thoughts on the Shuttle. Maybe it landed all safe-like because there was a woman pilot. Ever think of that!?!
4:49 Packing up my crap so that at 5:00, I can gogogo!
4:50 Except suddenly I have a ton of phone calls to make. On our crappy phone system. We just got this system, made by Siemens, about two years ago. But the digital displays are all wonky already, so you can’t read the caller ID. If the call waiting rings, you can’t put the person you are talking to into voice mail or transfer them. I know I should be all, Yay! Germany, but this product sucks. What I think happened was that they had these phones in Germany and the Germans were like “Dis ist Crap! Send it to Amerika were dey don’t know any better.” (Sorry. God bless America. Land that I looooove!)
4:57 I think I need to turn my computer off and stand with bag in hand so that I can be off as soon as the clock strikes 5:00. So G’night! Hope you don't hate me after this!
8:00 Watch the Shuttle land. Make unfunny comments about its safe arrival. For example: at one point they were indicating two spots on the shuttle with x’s and I said “Aw man, it was landing safely and so they are gonna shoot it down?” Yeah, I know… gallows humor?
8:20 Check my emails. Ooh, Steep and Cheap is selling $100 goggles that actually look cool, for $30. Too bad I don’t know how to ski. (Won’t someone take me skiing? – which actually makes me regress into a memory of my three skiing experiences.
1. I was visiting my friend in Germany. I must have been 15. We strapped on cross country skis and went out. I was fine on those skis and saw a little hill. Come on, I said, let’s try the hill. My friend reluctantly followed and down the hill we went. On cross country skis. Second try, almost took out a kid who was sledding, as well as a small sapling.
2. Working at Bennigan’s. 20 years old. Worked St. Patty’s day with my pals and we were there until 5 am just cleaning up. We came to the bright conclusion to go skiing. Everyone piled into a car, drove towards the nearest ski resort when 20 miles from home, the car broke down and we had to walk to find a pay phone so a mom, who was not happy we were going in the first place, could come and get us. It was damn cold, too.
3. 25 years old. Finally doing it right. Planned a day trip to go snow boarding. Drove 4 hours to get to the resort. It had rained all day and people were mud-boarding down the hill. Needless to say, I was not one of them.
Those are my attempts at skiing. Not meant to be? My sister lives near mountains. I visit her for a week and a half every December. What the..? (Also, I first typed skies, then skiis… Typing is hard.)
8:55 My horoscope today: You have an effect on people. You make them feel a certain way. Get in touch with exactly what that effect and feeling are. Ask questions. It's time to figure out if you're coming across as you intend. Hmm, what does that mean? I am going to spend some time over thinking this.
9:30 A little bored. My boss is out for the rest of the week. AND he is on a plane right now, so he can’t call and ask “What’s going on?” So I am filling my time by reading amalah. I am almost caught up with reading her archives. I don’t know this girl, but I think I would like to. AND she lives in DC, maybe a stalking spree is in order? I am obviously kidding. But she writes awesomely and seems like a coolio chick. I can already see her influence in my writing sometimes and also others… asshat, Marci?
To give an example of the exquisite writing of the Amalah, read this. That’s literary gold.
9:45 Who is going to want to read some long involved retelling of my uneventful day? AND we still have 7 hours and 15 minutes to go! And in 9 hours and 15 minutes, I will be enjoying the Celtic sounds of Canada. I am going to see Great Big Sea at Wolftrap tonight. With a higher-up in my department. And the President of one of our Business Units. And his wife. Awkward? Probably. Not caring! GREAT.BIG.SEA!!!
10:06 Boss.gave.me.work. You can’t give someone work to do when the whole morning has been spent goofing off.
10:22 Private number ringing on my caller ID. But I am not going to answer it. The office skeeze’s assistant is on vacation, so the office skeeze has taken to calling me every day. To chat. Ew. I ignore it. Message! Let’s see? Yep, it’s him. Uck. Some people just don’t get it.
10:32 Apparently the biggest news of the day is that Dana Reeve, wife of the late Christopher Reeve, has lung cancer. While, yes, it is a tragedy, is it really necessary to televise this fact all morning long? (Here’s to a full recovery.)
10:41 All the delicious coffee and water that I have enjoyed thus far, is done with me. But the bathroom is all the way across the building. So, I always wait until the very last second and then sprint down the hall ignoring anyone in my path. Why can’t I have my own personal bathroom? (Too much info? Count your blessings, there are far worse things I could be sharing.) Let’s see how long it takes me to come back…
10:46 Five minutes! Well, I said it was far! You know what bugs me? When the toilet paper roll is not feeding from the top. So you have to go searching to for the start of the roll while in the meantime, all the paper is piling up in the dispenser somewhere. Just put the damn roll in correctly. Sheesh.
10:49 The women in my office are neurotic. (Myself included.) We have a trashcan by the exit of the bathroom because the people who wash their hands use the paper towel they dried their hands with to open the door in case of cooties from the non-handwashers. But seriously, Wash!Your!Hands!
12:00 Broke down and did a lot of work. I know! It’s insanity. In that time, my big boss called and wanted to know “what’s going on.” I said, “Work, sir. And lots of it!”
12:05 Lunching time. We have a café where they feed us. With a salad bar, and soups, and a dessert bar, and fruits. Today we can have tortellini or prime rib. I might have the salad bar. But people blow me away when they opt to go out to eat. Hellooooo! We have food here. It’s mostly great and it’s paid for. They justify going out by saying they won’t eat as much. Ever heard of a little restraint? Damn!
1:00 A substantial part of lunch was spent discussing Jelly Belly’s. Lunch was not so great today. But still. Paid for.
1:20 Flipped through pages of Elle magazine. It is ads punctuated by the occasional article about something you saw in one of the aforementioned ads. Pheh. Can’t afford nothing in there. And no, I don’t want to talk about my new crush on
Hey! It’s only $100. I must have lost my touch. I used to be the girl who would walk into a dollar store and find the only item that costs $1000.
1:42 Did some more work. It must look like I do nothing all day. It’s true, today. I have two expense reports that are just aching to be done, but other than that, today is a free for all day. It’s not usually like this. I can generally be found running back and forth, editing papers, creating documents, calling people, yadda yadda yadda. But when the big man is out and I got caught up on all of my work yesterday, today is a take it easy kind of day. Hence the diary of today’s experiences. Hope you are not bored out of your mind. But it is keeping me from being bored out of mine, so deal with it.
1:45 Holy crap is this ever the longest pile of self-indulgent crap that has ever been written?
3:00 Talked to my mom and ate M&M’s. It’s hard talking clearly over the sound of crunching candies in your mouth. I’m sure she appreciated hearing that.
3:01 Yay, two more hours. Yawn.
3:02 Boss called. He’s wearing a sport coat and everyone else is wearing golf shirts. It is hot in Texas. He is casting a pox on me. (I forgot to find out the dress code before sending him off. Oops.)
3:11 My coworker just said I am a little spicy and a little dicey. I like it!
3:28 “I like to move it move it. I like to move it. I like to move it move it.” Get this song out of my head!
3:32 “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I am getting so hot…” ARGHHHHHH!!! I don’t even listen to those songs, how they heck did they get in my head?!?
3:38 102 minutes. So sleepy. Wonder if I can stretch out under my desk and nap a little?
3:42 Hell, I practically lay in my seat. I believe my chair is way too big for me. People are constantly telling me to sit up. Hey! Eat my shorts.
3:47 What does castigate mean? I just used it in a sentence and am not even sure what it means, even though I am confident that I used it correctly. I said “I won’t be castigated for issues that I have already resolved.” Ha! I did. DEF: To criticize or punish severely. Thesaurus: chastise, rebuke, scold, berate, chide, reprimand.
3:51 I hate the sound of nails being filed. Hate it so much!
3:57 Spider Solitaire OWNS me. According to the stats, I have only won 3% of the games I have played. Pathetic. Maybe I should play more. Ha!
3:59 The music playlist in my head is horrible. I am going to play music, real music, on my computer. Hmm, Christina Aguilera, Dirrty. I think I will veto. What’s next? Omigod, the music on my computer is as bad as that in my head!
4:02 Ashlee Simpson.. What the… I got her CD in a moment of pop-idol teen regression. I actually kind of liked her voice, but then maybe the realities of “Ashlee” came to fruition, what with her horrendous display of lack of talent at the Orange Bowl.. (Was that the Orange Bowl? Whatever. The college football thingie..) And the clothes? I am still not completely healed from the temporary blindness she has inflicted on me. Ouchie, Ashlee.
4:05 Ok, seriously… My playlist sucks. SUCKS. And I hate Bon Jovi. I am sorry, Jen. I just do.
4:16 We were talking about how our token really short person hates being called “shorty-patorty” and the person who called her that said that she should embrace it, as she herself has embraced her red-headed, left handed, stepchildness. That just sounded all shades of wrong, so I excused myself. (I also wrote “said that she short embrace it” Yeah.)
4:31 Co-worker snuck out early. But she asked me and I said ok. But I want to not be here anymore too. This last half hour is going to drag as most everyone is gone and I have a headache and a multitude of Motrin that is not in my desk as I took it o Philadelphia last weekend. More of a neckache than a headache. Can I blame my chair?
4:36 Does it make me a bad person that I totally badgered the man whom I used to call “the elf” and complain that he smells a tiny bit like old folks home for his extra ticket to see Great Big Sea? Naw, he’s way cooler than he was when he was my boss and besides GREAT!BIG!SEA!
4:48 Thoughts on the Shuttle. Maybe it landed all safe-like because there was a woman pilot. Ever think of that!?!
4:49 Packing up my crap so that at 5:00, I can gogogo!
4:50 Except suddenly I have a ton of phone calls to make. On our crappy phone system. We just got this system, made by Siemens, about two years ago. But the digital displays are all wonky already, so you can’t read the caller ID. If the call waiting rings, you can’t put the person you are talking to into voice mail or transfer them. I know I should be all, Yay! Germany, but this product sucks. What I think happened was that they had these phones in Germany and the Germans were like “Dis ist Crap! Send it to Amerika were dey don’t know any better.” (Sorry. God bless America. Land that I looooove!)
4:57 I think I need to turn my computer off and stand with bag in hand so that I can be off as soon as the clock strikes 5:00. So G’night! Hope you don't hate me after this!
Buggie spilled her guts for you at 8/09/2005 05:28:00 PM
4 Comments:
BON!JOVI! Circa 1988, that shite rocked.
Jen
LIEZ!
DAMN! Blogger censored me here too.
WTF. That's it. No more comments.
If there are no comments, why write? Just stop writing crappy stuff MG. I wanna go to a Great Big Sea concert. I do. The opportunity has not presented it self to me yet. :\
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