Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

The process

Hi!

How are ya? I'm good. Finally worked my way through the first draft of my pilot TV comedy script. (Well, actually I think it is the 4th or 5th, but those were completely different stories, so I am calling this draft 1 because it is the first version of this story). But yay! Seriously. It's so unfunny and I have tasked several capable and hilarious writers to aid in the punch up. But step one! Woo!

I have another script to write. I'm working on a spec script of The Middle. Tomorrow is the big writing day. We'll see how it goes. Did I tell you I only have a week to get my scripts up to par for submission as my thesis?

Oh, the thesis. The dreaded thesis. I am so bored of talking about it. I'm sure everyone else is even more tired of hearing about it. But who will I be without it hanging over my head? Will I just fade into oblivion like Marty McFly when George McFly gets sucker punched and the romantic liaison with Lorraine looks to be a no-go?

I think I need a camera on me while I write. You know, like the cameras they have in the zoo. I'm like a caged animal. I set the stage for myself. Notes, laptop, reference books all bedecking my dining room table while I pace anxiously nearby. Finally, I face the keyboard. Sweat dripping down the side of my face (I'm too poor for AC), I nervously peck the keyboard.

FADE IN:

Now what!?! I stand, taking deep breaths. Can't quit yet, so I return to my seat and continue.

EXT. 

Exterior what? House? Town? Pawn shop? Crap. Is that a stain on my counter? Hold on. I'm going to wipe that down really quick. Don't want it to stain. Okay, I'm back.

EXT. ARM PIT BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT

That's it! The Armenian Pit Grill is in everyone one of my scripts. Let's start there. It's based on Bungalow Billiards, which we gently refer to as the Bunghole. Okay, good. We have a location.

INT. ARMPIT - SAME
The bar is filled with frats boys, dodgeball players, and hill staffers who are looking for a, shall we say, fun person to hang out with. 

Great. Situation established! What's that kitty cat? You want to look out the window with me? Is a storm coming? Doesn't look like it. Let's check the front door. Hey, the mail is here. Maybe someone sent money.

Checking... Insurance bill. Magazine. Oh, my, she is seriously photoshopped on that cover. Ooh, a Target coupon book. Man, doesn't anyone write letters anymore? Yay! Netflix! Hey, it's the next disc in the "Dead Like Me" series. Maybe I will just watch one episode. It's well crafted. It will totally inspire my writing.

1 episode

2 episodes

3 episodes

4 episodes

Shoot. I didn't mean to watch all of those. But I guess it's best. This way I can send the disc back.

Back at my computer. Why did I think starting at the bar was a good idea.? I mean, who's there? What are they doing?



EXT. ARMENIAN PIT GRILL - NIGHT



INT. ARMPIT - SAME



The bar is filled with frats boys, dodgeball players, and hill staffers who are looking for a, shall we say, fun person to hang out with.

EXT. JAVA HUT COFFEE SHOP

Java Hut? EXT. JAVA HUT GROUND ZERO COFFEE SHOP

Too soon? EXT. GROUND ZERO MISTER BEAN'S COFFEE SHOP - MORNING


Screw it. That's just going to have to work for now. 


The bar coffee shop is filled with frats boys, dodgeball players, and hill staffers who are looking for a, shall we say, fun person to hang out with.  prepping for their long day. 


What are dodgeball players doing getting coffee? Do they get coffee? My friend Jacques plays dodgeball, but he brings a little flask of fancy coffee. I mean, come on, this is DC. We are fancy people.  You know, maybe I should take a little nap. I bet I'll dream the perfect situation. 


1 Comments:

OpenID haveyaseenlucky said...

Go to the quiet room, at the Arlington library central branch. When I am serious about getting shit done it's the only place that works.

(I just went through all the writing bullshit for the last time this semester.)

8/02/2012 09:37:00 PM  

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