Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Geez...

Marci told me about this thing where people are telling ten people, anonomously, what they would never say to their faces. I have to do what she does, 'cause hell, she is my best friend. Rereading what I wrote, I realized some things about me, but I did not change what I wrote. This is straight from the heart and the brain and all that. Sorry it is not funny. But it is a little cathartic.

The rules: List ten things you want to say to people you know but never will, for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once.


I love and respect you so much, but I am afraid that I will never be able to live up to being the person you want and expect me to be. I wish I felt that that still made me good enough.

I wish you would stand up for me and tell him that I am not whatever he thinks I am. I am sick of trying to demonstrate my good points, when nothing good I do will ever be acknowledged by him.

While I think your children are fantastic and I adore your spouse, you are not as great as you think you are. I think you should stop thumping your beliefs at other people and expand your mind to see that other lifestyles have as much, if not more validity than this lifestyle you are living. Get off the goddamn phone, and be a part of your family.

I can’t believe you still want to be friends with me after how mean I have been to you for so long. You have the sweetest heart, but the dumbest brain I have ever encountered. Can’t you learn from your experiences? You frustrate the hell out of me.

I wish you had more time for me.

I love you with my entire soul. I can't understand why I feel like I need to justify myself to you sometimes, when you generally get me better than anyone in the world.

You have no right to be as caustic as you are. You do nothing to forward your life. Appreciate her. Treat her with respect. She does more for you than anyone should and I can guarantee you don’t deserve it. So stop being the most selfish dickweed on the planet.

You have no right to whine and complain as much as you do. You have been so blessed. I wish you would attack life with fervor instead of standing around complaining about it while hoping someone will save you. Only you can change your life, and you know that. Stop being such a chicken and live, already.

I can’t remember you. I know you were there, but it’s like I saw you at a party but never got a chance to speak with you and then you left. So many things are left unsaid. How different would I be were you still around.

I don’t understand a single thing you do. I wish that you would leave me alone. I have not quite come to grips with the fact that I still love you, but don’t like you.

9 Comments:

Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

You're a tricky one, Bug.

5/22/2006 05:09:00 PM  
Blogger MG said...

Well.....now I'm all paranoid.

Would be nice to know if one of these refered to me and if so, why you feel you couldn't say it to me.

5/22/2006 06:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice post. It does provide a lot of insight.

5/23/2006 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger Buggie said...

Well, MG. They are all about you. Wanna talk about it?

5/23/2006 04:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

harsh

5/23/2006 07:12:00 PM  
Blogger MG said...

Heh.

I'm pretty sure none of them are about me.

My thinking at the time was that you (and Baby Banana) are a strong women. I'm surprized that you wouldn't have the fortitude to address the "issue" with the person in each of these statements.

5/23/2006 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger Buggie said...

It's an exercise.
And sometimes things just are not easily wrapped up. If your relationships are perfect that you never are frustrated, you are one lucky person. I don't know anyone like that.

5/24/2006 06:11:00 PM  
Blogger Buggie said...

AND besides that, some things just are things that bug ME, but I am not going to be able to change about someone. So, I am not going to address that issue when all it will do is cause strife.
I know that some things I do bug people, but if say Marci told me everything about me that bothered her, we would probably not be able to be friends. It's just life.
(She just quietly suffers, as she should;)

5/24/2006 06:26:00 PM  
Blogger MG said...

No no...quite the contrary....my life is an exercise in frustration.

*chuckle*

But there's plenty of good to out weigh the bad.

5/25/2006 10:11:00 AM  

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