Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Puerto Rico, you lovely Island...

My body is attempting to turn itself inside out after having spent past two days at my computer, banging out a crappy essay and a powerpoint project for my class on the American Dream. I actually had to take a break somewhere after about 20 hours and take my aching self to the chiropractor. Still hurting! Such a horrible panicky pain. But worth it!

Because:
  1. I am finished with my paper
  2. I am finished with my project
  3. I am finished with this class
  4. I am on my way to Puerto Rico!!!!

I can't wait. Once I finally get my (oversized for 5 days) suitcase packed and take a shower, the only thing between me and the beach is sleep, an early morning plane ride and well, all the crap that comes between the airport and the sand. Yay!

I'll be thinking of you whilst seeing this:





Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Cleanliness is close to Godliness

I am sitting at my computer while two very nice ladies are scrubbing my house (that has years of filth baked in, or so it feels to me). I feel so awkward sitting here, screwing around, while they do hard labor that I do not want to do (but truthfully should be doing myself to save the money). I hate to clean. I hate it so much that knowing they were coming this morning, I woke up singing songs of glee. I do have to admit to having run around straightening so they would not think I was a complete slob.
I wish they would sing little songs, like "Just a spoon full of sugar". Well, maybe wishes only come true one at a time.
I am feeling in the way. I don't know what to do with myself. I am sure they would much rather that I were at work or someplace so they could work in freedom. Perhaps then they would be singing. And cute outfits? No. I know that is expecting far too much, but seriously, for the money they want, I could have some cute outfits and a nice little song production. Is a dance too much to ask for? (Says the girl who is asking them to clean her toilet.) Squeee, clean toilet! Okay, wow. That makes it sound like I never clean my toilet. That is just not right. I do clean it. I just don't have to right now! Yay!
I may just find out what color my carpets truly are, too. They brought a vacuum. A Vacuum! AND they are going to mop the floors. All the footprints left over from the Oscar party will be soon gone, and I will only have the memories to remind me.
It already smells good in here. I opened the windows because it is just such a beautiful day. The smell of fresh air mixing with cleaning solutions smells like this side of heaven. Especially when wafting over me as I move nothing but my nubby fingers over this keyboard, which could use a little dusting itself. Uh oh.. Am I turning into a spoiled socialite? No work. Throw parties. Cleaning people come to take care of my mess? Oh geez, I am.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Prepping for the 2007 Snarkademy Awards!

The Second Annual Snarkademy Awards! (See recap of prep for 2006 here.)
I invited a ton of people, but I think a bunch are going to bow out because of this stuff:











I shoveled the walk with my dust pan, though, so I think people should come just because of that. Not only did I shovel my own entrance and steps, but I also did the big steps that I have fallen up and down many a time throughout the years I have lived here.










Movin' on. Let's get to the bar. This year I supplied the stuff left over from last year AND a cocktail called the "Babel" (which Marci kept calling the baybel, but I had a hard time decided it was Bahbel or baybel myself, so I only laughed at her a little.) This beverage was passionate fruit juice with lime, grapefruit and regular vodka, triple sec, the juices of a blood orange, half a lime and half a lemon, half a can of Fresca and a half liter bottle of soda water. We ran out of that pretty quickly so I also made "Big Old Sunshine". (Get it? Little Miss Sunshine grew up?) That was Orange Juice, soda water, cranberry and lime vodkas. Yum. I also had Magic Hat beer that was presented by "The Prestige" and "The Illusionist". (Get it? They are movies about magic..)

Ah, the Swag Bags. I think this is the reason people actually attend. This years bags were clear cellophane with a clear "2nd Annual Snarkademy Awards" label on them.

If you look closely, you can see that I decorated the table with old movie ticket stubs. Mmm, hmm.

The swag bags contain:
  • Star Crunch from L'il Debbie. You remember why. They were in there last year. You know, I ate one of these yesterday and it was NOT as good as I remember. What the he..?
  • Water Pistol (Sponsored by "The Departed")
  • Lipton Green Tea powder. New product brought to you by "The Queen"
  • Smiley face yellow kooshy toy brought to you by "Little Miss Sunshine"
  • Ring Pop brought to you by "Blood Diamond"
  • Smarties Connect Three game
  • Quakers Granola bites. (These, too, are new and therefore must be added for publicity. You know that if the cool kids attending the Snarkademy Awards are eating them, so will everyone else)




As for food, well, I forgot what eaters I have for friends and served them Hummus with carrots and pita chips; smoked Gouda and Wheat Thins crackers; Boursin and Pretzel crackers; wasabi peas; cinnamon popcorn by Act 1; regular popcorn; Junior Mints, jelly beans, Sour Patch Kids, Non Pareils, Raisinets, Milk Duds, twizzlers and randomly mango slices. Luckily Marci brought "Little Miss Sunshine" cupcakes. Unluckily for me, she took the leftovers home before I could snag one to save for later.






Oscar picks

Note: Bug’s picks are who I think should win, not who I believe will win.

Best actor

Leonardo DiCaprio: best known to me as Luke Brower; the cute but unnecessary addition to the “Growing Pains” household. And Kirk Cameron now is selling Christ to people on his webpage? My friend Alex ran into Kirk Cameron on a ski slope and she had that picture with him proudly displayed on her vanity mirror. He was brilliant in his turn as Danny, the diamond smuggler in “Blood Diamond”. AND he pulled off a convincing South African accent which is brutally difficult, you know, unless you are Charlize Theron.

Ryan Gosling
: I saw him in “The Notebook” and did not stop weeping for days. He is supposed to have been brilliant in this film, but I did not see it. They say “Half Nelson” is like the “Crash” of last year and could take the Academy by surprise. I do not see it happening.

Peter O’Toole: Falls for his friends punky granddaughter in “Venus”. I have not seen this yet either, but as he has been nominated 7 times before, and has only received an honorary Oscar, I think he will be going home empty handed yet again.

Will Smith: I have not seen “Pursuit of Happyness”. I know, it is like what movies HAVE you seen, Bug?

Forest Whitaker: It is about time you play an exceptional role, Forest. I have always thought he was a good actor. I thought he was great in “The Last King of Scotland”, though honestly this role seemed more like a supporting role with James McEvoy’s character Dr. Garrigan being the lead. And he was completely overlooked. One of my biggest rationale for picking an Oscar winner is that no one else could have played the role as well as the one cast in it. Truthfully, I would have liked to have seen Michael Clark Duncan in it. He looks like Idi Amin.

Critics pick: Forest Whitaker
Bug picks: Forest Whitaker


Best Actress


Penelope Cruz: Used to date Tom Cruise. Her credibility is shot! She is supposed to be really great in her native Spanish films and Pedro Almadovar seems to just love her. She annoys me, but I have never seen her in a Spanish film.

Judi Dench: is terrifying in “Notes on a Scandal”. I never noticed it before, but she looks a bit like my mom’s neighbor Mary. I think that Judi Dench is brilliant. She plays this role without being obsequious, even though her character is internally falling all over Sheba, the art teacher. Dench walks a fine line between wicked and human, but you still end up feeling for her.

Helen Mirren: Looked like the Queen. She brought a character that we are all very familiar with, to life. I know that the Queen is a real person, but we never see anything past the hats , the corgies and the weird little wave. It was extraordinary to see how almost ordinary the Windsor’s live (you know, save for the palace, and all…). I loved her Wellingtons.

Meryl Streep: Love her. She, too, brought humanity to a vicious character. But again, falls into the category of anyone else could have played this role.

Kate Winslet: I did not see this film. A truly remarkable actress. I am a huge fan.

Critcs pick: Helen Mirren
Bug's pick: Helen Mirren


Best Supporting Actor

Alan Arkin: Ha! So brilliant. Won’t win. Comedic actors never do.

Jackie Earle Haley: Sex offender in “Little Children”. Did not see it. Have not heard much chatter about him.

Djimon Hounsou: In the film “Blood Diamond”, he managed to keep all of his limbs intact and stay alive. On the set, he was almost executed by a man who took exception to him being alive. He was saved when Leonardo DiCaprio stepped between the gun and Hounsou and told the shooter he would have to shoot through him to shoot Djimon. I think Djimon Hounsou is a tremendous actor. I think he was great in this film. I worry a bit that it again, is a role someone else could have played just as well. He would be my pick otherwise.

Eddie Murphy: Is nominated? For this role? He was utterly forgettable to me and if he wins, I may just boycott the Academy Awards next year. I think there are some politics here and it is possible that by doing that “Norbit” film, he shot himself in the foot with the snobs in the Academy.

Mark Wahlberg: He has really become a great actor. Once, when Marci went to LA, I told her to tell Marky Mark that I say hello, and then she saw him at the Coffee Bean on Sunset. I tell you, I am psychic! I loved him in this film, but it did not seem that very Oscar worthy to me.

Recap: This is a difficult category for me. None of these roles are particularly award worthy.

Critics pick: Eddie Murphy (Whaaa…?)
Bug’s Pick: Alan Arkin

Best Supporting Actress

Adriana Barraza: She was the nanny in “Babel”. I dunno. She was good and boy I felt sorry for her, but it was not that captivating of a role and again, anyone could have played it just as well.

Cate Blanchett: Won this award in 2005. They won’t let her win again so soon. She brought to life this character of Sheba in “Notes on a Scandal”. I think another actor could have let this role become very one dimensional.

Abigail Breslin: Better known to me as the kid sister to Spencer Breslin who played the kid in one of my favorite guilty pleasures “The Kid”. Abigail is ten years old. Adorable, check. Funny, check. Gonna win? Not going to happen. Relax, Tatum. You still reign that throne.

Jennifer Hudson: shrieked at me. Will she completely fall away after this? Was this her one role? If she does win the Oscar and that does happen, she should have to give it back. Hmph. I don’t know. I just don’t think this film was good. Apparently the academy did, though because DAMN! 8 nods.

Rinko Kikuchi: I am a little jaded when it comes to her and it is not her fault. It is because her story line did not fit into this film at all. She was excellent, though. I did not need to see her soft parts. Thankyouverymuch.

Critics pick: Jennifer Hudson
Bug’s pick: Rinko Kikuchi (Though only for lack of better choices.) Maybe I would pick Cate Blanchett. Gah! Too much pressure!


Best Director:

Not going to go into detail.
Should be and will be Martin Scorsese for “The Departed”.

Best picture:

Babel”: No. It did not make sense. I get it. We are all interconnected. But you reached too hard and fell off. NONONONONO. I think "Blood Diamond" should be here instead of "Babel".

The Departed”: Excellent. Violent. Unexpected. Surprisingly good.

Letters From Iwo Jima”: Did not see it. Did not hear much about it. But who does not love Clint Eastwood? Even with his newly ironed face.

Little Miss Sunshine”: Cute, smart, interesting. Comedies never win.

The Queen”: Interesting. Compelling enactment of something we all felt like we were a part of.

Critics Pick: The Departed
Bug’s Pick: Little Miss Sunshine