Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

I want to be Michael Jordan's mistress.

But unfortunately for me, that position has already been acquired.
I spent the whole morning reading about Lisa Miceli. The luckiest girl in the world! She got to sleep with him while he was married. She even talked about taking his kid to the Bahamas! Lucky!
Hey Lisa, don't let them get you down. You know what really happened. They can't take that away from you. Besides, all this chatter about it is going to make you famous! Then you can pen your book and become rich and hang out with Tara Reid and flash your cooter like all the cool kids are doing.
Sorry that your blog got hijacked. That happened to me once, too. Way to get back on the horse and start a new one.
I was reading some of the clips about you on AOL and on Deadspin. People can always twist your exact words around and misrepresent you with the exact quotes of exactly what you said. I would not worry about that too much. I mean, YOU DATED MICHAEL JORDAN! Awesome. I saw his statue at the United Center in Chicago and thought, how lucky is the woman that gets to be with him!?! (Before getting distracted by the stain on the sidewalk that looks like a gnome, or perhaps Bin Laden... Ask Marci.. She knows.)
Good luck with the book. Maybe one word of advice? Get a spell checker.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

More like Screamgirls...

My mom and I saw "Dreamgirls" on Sunday. This was never a movie high on my list, but since it was nominated for so many Academy Awards, I thought I had better see it. The first thing I got out of it was a lot of booby flailing. They all did it, but damn, when Jennifer Hudson set those puppies to moving, best get out of her way. This was not the most attractive dance maneuver I have taken in.

I have to say that I did not like this movie. I thought it was contrived and boring. My mom fell asleep during part of it and I glanced at her with the longing for the sweet release of sleep. (Why I am wide awake for this, when I can't stay awake to save my life in The Last King of Scotland?)

You know how I said that the film xXx was written by 13 year old boys? Well, this film was written by 13 year old girls. It is all boobies and flash and the stage. Suddenly the group becomes hyper famous, one girl gets left out, the others get snarky and she is cast out on her own. That sounds like the stories I wrote when I was a kid.

You want to like Effie, but all I could think was Shut the hell up already! Beyonce's character was boring and never really fleshed out at all. None of the characters were. They all were so one dimensional. I think the only one who actually did something with her role or maybe had a role that allowed her to do something with it was the role was Lorrell (Anika Noni Rose), and even that is a stretch.

The girl who played Michelle (Sharon Leal) is beautiful. And I liked some of the costumes…
But I hated the songs, I hated the fact that I felt like I was being yelled at the whole time. No one had to tell J. Hudson to "Sing out, Louise!" I wish someone had said, make us want more sometimes, Jen! We get it. You've got pipes! OK. But you also have a microphone. I'm just sayin'…

And why did all the men have these pansy voices?
At the end, Effie walks to Curtis and the spotlight hits her and she starts to sing again and I just shrank into my seat with a huge sigh because I didn't want to hear anymore singing.

I can't figure this one out. It's nice to have operettas back, but this one sucked.