Ah Bugger

The vapid utterings of a neurotic mind.

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Location: DC, United States

I ain't too proud to bug.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

My feet's impression of lobsters. Look! The toes are the claws!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Damaged goods!

I'm battered and bruised! My vacation damaged me.
On Sunday, we went biking and so I had socks and shoes on. I expertly applied sunscreen to every naked part of my body, including under straps. Having learned my lesson with my racing stripe of a sunburn on my knee, I carefully attacked my largest organ with strong protection. Alas, not my feet.
After the strenuous bike ride, where I so powerfully demonstrated my extreme lack of being in shape, we took to the kayak. Marci wanted to go up to the room where we could get flip-flops and put the sneakers away, but I said, Marci! Why bother walking the 42 miles (because our room was sooo far away- probably because they could tell when we checked in what kind of troublemakers we are!) to our room, when we can drop the shoes in a locker and be barefoot. She agreed that this was a most brilliant plan and off we went... on tip toe... stones hurt fragile, delicate city feet. Soon we were safely ensconced in a blue kayak for me and a yellow one for Marci. We paddled away with bad posture and feet in the water. (By the way, Marci still owes me an ice cream cone for not tipping my kayak.) If only Harley, our kayak master, could have seen us. (His guidance was "Good posture and keep your legs straight in the kayak." Oops.) Aimlessly paddling through calm waters, we found some friends on a pirate ship. (Pirate because someone had fashioned a skull and crossbones flag, and ship=boat..) True to pirate form, they hijacked us and fed us beer and food. The kayaks found new masters. New masters that sank the blue one three times. In the meantime, unprotected feet turned bright red. The SPF 4 I found did nothing to protect them. After several hours in the sun, I had cooked lobsters for feet and a storm was rolling in. Marci and I, however, could not leave the pirate ship as her life vest was on another boat. We sent a jet ski off to retrieve it and paddled to shore. We were safely inside as the storm released raindrops as big as the lake itself! The pirate ship was not as lucky as somehow they managed to explode their engine.
Damage: 2 burned feet.

On Monday, we commandeered the pool at midnight with some friends. The constant sliding from hot tub to pool destroyed several shins. I have bruises on both of mine and Marci had abrasions. But what I noticed today is that my sunburned right foot is black, too. I have the biggest bruise I have ever seen (save for the time I fell down the concrete stairs at my grandparents house many years ago) on the upper inside part of it.
Damage: 2 bruised shins and a bruised foot.

I think I am into extreme sports, ya'll!